the thing is...
...it's not even like, a man thing, it's a people thing?
I'm seeing a lot of people not understand there are legions of grey when it comes to tactile communication, and claiming that we're misinterpreting it because buddie shippers are "young women" (which is a lovely, sexist generalization that erases anyone in this fandom who doesn't identify as a woman, which I'm sure is fucking many)
like plenty of people, I have friendships that are extremely tactile, and that touch ranges from soft and grazing to rough-housing that could maybe be interpreted into something else by an outside perspective, but it's never harmful
more importantly, however, is that these two characters we're discussing, touch, all the time, soft and heavy, but more than that constant constant constant
a hand on the shoulder, sudden or not, between these two people who implicitly trust their emotions and bodies with each other...
...well it's not this horrific abusive thing you are twisting it into, it just isn't, and it's demeaning as hell towards portrayals in media that are about abusive/toxic situations