// Spider-Man No Way Home spoilers
You know what's coming, so let's just jump straight into it
*3 Peters sitting in jail together*
Peter G: So who should we call?
Peter H: I’d call Dr. Strange, but I feel safer in jail
Peter M: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday
Peter G: Wednesay
Peter M: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible
Peter M: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.
MJ: You people already know too much about me.
Peter G: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.
Peter G: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.
Peter H: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Peter G: Yes!
Peter M: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.
Peter H: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.
Peter G, amazed: Wow...
Peter G, to Peter M: Well what does that mean?
Peter M: I don't know.
Peter M, to Peter H: What does that mean?
Peter H: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Peter M: You’re a hazard to society
Peter G: And a coward. Do twenty.
Peter H: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!
Ned: Tubular AF!
MJ: Mood to the max!
Peter M, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.
Peter G, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.
Peter H: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.
Peter M: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Ned: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Peter G: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
MJ: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!
Dr. Strange: Where's Peter 1, 2 and 3?
Ned: They're playing hide and seek.
Dr. Strange: Where?
MJ: I don't think you get how this game works.
MJ: What's your greatest fear?
Peter H: Being forgotten.
Peter M: Failure.
Peter G: Loud flushing toilets.
Everyone: *turns to Peter G*
Peter G: Those things are hell spawn, and I fought The Lizard.
Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Peter G*
Peter G: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.
Peter H: You wanna see how hardcore I am?
Peter H: *punches wall*
Peter G and M:
Peter H: Take me to the hospital.
Peter G: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress
Peter G: A theif.
Peter M: Thief?
Peter G: Theif.
Peter H: I before E, except after C.
Peter G: Thceif.
Peter M: No.
Peter G: I turned out perfectly fine!
Peter M: Peter, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast
Peter G: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!
Peter M: Today is a day of running through hurdles.
Peter H: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?
Peter M: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.
Peter G: Are we in trouble?
Peter M: Take a guess.
Peter H: No?
Dr. Strange, appearing out of nowhere: Take another guess.
Peter G: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming
Peter M: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak
Dr. Strange: God, give me patience.
Peter M: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Dr. Strange: If God gave me strength, you three would be dead.
Peter H: Welcome, fellow idiots
Peter G: Hello, Peter 1
Peter M: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
Peter G: You underestimate me
MJ: Do you take constructive criticism?
Peter G: I only take cash or credit.
Peter H: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.
Peter M: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.
Peter H, tending to Peter G's wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Peter G: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.
Peter M: *smacks him upside the head*
MJ: You often use humor to deflect trauma
Peter G: Thank you
Peter H: She didn't say that was a good thing
Peter G: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny
Peter H: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.
Peter G: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.












