#spillt

[mlb-shit-post]

yeah chibis are cool and all, but have you heard of producing and releasing episodes on time?

[acehotel]

Spill’t: Brita Filter with James Michael Avance

Spill’t is our ongoing interview series with Brita Filter, beloved drag queen and performer, known for her quick-witted tongue, campy performances and extravagant aesthetic ensembles. For the latest edition of Spill’t, she chats with the shutterbug darling of the New York drag scene, James Michael Avance, about how drag can fund an artist’s life, his fairy godmother Monét X Change and the best gayborhood in Oklahoma City.

All photos by James Michael Avance.

Brita Filter: I have this interview series called Spill’t. You know, spilling the water, Brita Filter. I created this series because when I started drag, I suddenly became in charge of my own art, and I was my own artistic director. I realized at the same time that all my friends started doing the same thing, and so this interview series is me asking all of my friends how they did it, how they started their own careers by taking charge of their art. So many things in my life changed when I started doing this. I talked to Corey Camperchioli of Femme a couple months back and Corey said, “I just realized that I had to make my own thing in order to be happy.”

James Michael Avance: The king of it.

BF: Yes, the king of it.

JMA: I'm hoping I fall into this category.

BF: You totally do.

JMA: I feel like I have stuff that I want to do. I feel like I'm the king of having not got anything done. I mean, I am a freelancer, I do work from home, I don't have a normal job...

BF: No, and that's what I want, that's what I love. Mostly everyone who I talk to started from a performance realm. I talked to Peter Dunn who does a lot of producing now, Marti Gould Cummings produced his own TV show.

I guess we'll start from the very beginning. Where are you from?

JMA: I am from Muskogee, Oklahoma.

BF: Muskogee, Oklahoma. You started off as a performer, right?

JMA: I did. I think I did my first musical in the fifth grade, and did that all through middle school, high school, community theater. Went to school for it. I went to University of Central Oklahoma, I have a degree in Musical Theater. I graduated in 2011 and moved straight here to New York City.

BF: You booked a lot of performing jobs right out of school, didn't you?

JMA: I did, I did about four years of working hard. I was one of those people that did 12 auditions a week, was working at Don't Tell Mama from 4pm–4am. Going to sleep for two hours, and then getting right up and auditioning my ass off. I did work, I did the national tour of The Addams Family, that was like my big break, and I did the international portion of it. I can tell you why I left, I feel like that's where it's going.

BF: Yes, why did you leave? Was that your last show that you did?

JMA: The last show that I did actually was Pageant — that was probably four years ago. That's when my photography journey began, when I quit theater. Could've been five years. I'm just so bad with years.

BF: No, I feel like it's right around when I started drag, too.

JMA: I think it's four years.

BF: Yeah, because I'm four years and nine months.

JMA: You don't look a day over two.

BF: Thank you.

JMA: I actually got off of tour and I did several contracts back to back. I'm one of those people that — it's so hard to put it into words. It's not that I didn't love performing, but I knew that I was happier when I was creating my own thing, which is really what it boils down to. I was an ensemble boy hard. I'm a dancer, singer boy, so that's what I did. It wasn't that I didn't love performing, it’s just that I would rather be creating. Sometimes you're good at something, and it's not necessarily where your happiness lies.

BF: Of course.

JMA: And I love performing, I do. I think that it will come back into my life in the right way, when it's time.

BF: You're such an incredible singer and musician.

JMA: Thank you.

BF: You made a lot of videos and recorded a bunch of stuff.

JMA: I actually started doing video production work in early high school. It was a huge passion of mine — it still is, it still is. I'm sure we will get into this. I was always doing my own thing. The only reason I survived for two years on tour, was because that’s when the photography started. I mean, it started in fifth grade, but that's the first time I bought a camera, had nice stuff and every week, I was working on my own video project for YouTube, or doing photo shoots with the cast and growing my portfolio. If I'm not creating my own thing, I'm miserable.

I could have the best life in the world, starring in a feature film, you know what I mean? If I wasn't, I'd probably still be creating my own little thing over in my trailer because if I'm not making something...it's like breathing. You know, it's like breathing, I have to be making something, I have to be creating something. My friends joke, “If you wanna see James, you have to book a shoot with him. You have to create with him to see him.” It’s true.

BF: When you first started photography, it started off with headshots, right?

JMA: Headshots for actors, which I still do.

BF: Which is great.

JMA: I love it, that's bread and butter, that's the ticket. That's where the money lies.

BF: Then you started shooting drag queens.

JMA: Yes, yes I did. I swear, when we talk about years, it gets so muddy. The first queen I shot was Paige Turner and that was...I feel like it was right after I got off tour. I don't remember. I don't have a concept of time. She was the first one, and I worked with her for a solid year.

And you were the second. You were the second drag queen I shot. How did we connect? Because from you I shot Monét X Change. It was bam, bam, bam.

BF: I saw you every single week.

JMA: It's where I met you, at So You Think You Can Drag, and it was when you first started.

BF: Yeah, I was crazy, the very beginning.

JMA: I don't remember what you looked like. I think I probably saw through that, because I was so mesmerized with everything about you. It's so funny being your friend now, and when I am out with you and new people meet you, you still introduce yourself in the same way. You still give that, “Yeah I'm anything but pure,” but I love it because it's always a moment, and it always brings me back to the first time you said it to me. I can picture that, at New World Stages, like it was yesterday.

BF: Oh, I love that. That's amazing.

JMA: But that's totally how we connected, and I guess I said I want to take your picture. I don't remember.

BF: Yeah, that's pretty much how it happened. I came over once and —

JMA: I had a ring light and a dream, baby.

BF: I remember those pictures, I was like, “Oh my God, this is so cool.” It was the first true professional pictures I've ever taken.

JMA: And they still stand the test of time.

BF: People still gag over them.

JMA: And you brought me my fairy godmother, Monét.

BF: Monét X Change.

JMA: Because of that photo.

BF: Right. Once you shot Monét, she kinda started blowing up, right?

JMA: She was already such a —

BF: — big entity within the city.

JMA: Yes. I shot with her the season before she got on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Do you remember, I've asked you about this. It was Pride, two summers ago, maybe three, and I said, “Monét wants to shoot with me because she saw this picture,” and you took me by the hand and you said, “You need to shoot with her now.”

BF: I remember this.

JMA: It made me feel like, “Oh, is she about to get in a drag race, what's going on?” I was so confused. She wasn't, but it's like you knew she was about to blow up. I was so obsessed with her. Honestly, had I not gotten in with her that year and now she's like my best friend. She's brought me everybody under the sun. I call her my fairy godmother for sure.

BF: Now you've shot with pretty much everyone.

JMA: I mean, not everybody, but, if I haven't shot with them, we've talked about it.

BF: Yeah.

JMA: Literally, yeah. There's so many. I have not actually shot that many people...

BF: I live for your pictures. I was gagged when you shot Alyssa Edwards.

JMA: Oh, yes.

BF: I was like, “Oh my God. Oh my God, James, I am so excited for you.”

JMA: And Chanel, look at her blowing up even bigger than she was two years ago with her new Netflix show. We're supposed to shoot soon, and Shangela, I wanna shoot that whole house. We've talked about it. When they're in New York, their schedules are crazy.

BF: It's also so crazy to look at your photos from when you first started with me, which is still very good, but to see how your photos have morphed — they're so pristine and elegant and really capture drag beautifully.

JMA: Thank you.

BF: Stunning. I mean, what is the artistic process going through this?

JMA: This is very, very important in my life. I have seen that it's harder for me to see it because I'm in the day-to-day, but when I start to look back at things from three, four months ago, I'm always shocked. I can see how I've progressed. I think it comes from being an artist and never really accepting your best as your best.

I'm always sharpening my knives. I'm working with the same equipment for the last year and a half, same equipment, photos are getting better. Equipment hasn't changed, it's constantly trying to up yourself, especially when you do studio portraits. How do you keep that exciting when you're doing it every day? You have to try new things. Every single time I shoot, I try one new little lighting thing that I've never done. Let's put it over here, let's put the light over here and see what that does. Maybe it sucked, or maybe, wow, that's really cool and I'm gonna start doing that for the next two months. About every two months you'll see my style will change. It's fun, thank you.

BF: It's incredible. I'm sure that it just keeps things fresh, keeps your mind from going crazy.

JMA: Yes, it's also kind of a burden a little bit too, because the more I work with people I've started to get very, very nervous that these days that I’ll send it and they won't like it. That doesn't happen a lot, but every once in a while, it will. Especially Monét, I've shot with her so many times. Now my heart goes into my stomach when I send her that file because I'm always expecting, “This is the time where I didn't nail it.”

It's very nerve racking, just as a performer. That's love, and somebody seeing your show a million times, you're like, what do I do to entertain them now? They've seen it, they see what I do, what can I do now?

BF: You just always know the right picture. It's so great, I love it. I was going through your pictures before I got here and just how you capture an image. You could probably do drag too, because you have the face for it. I mean, just looking at how you capture an image and not only the drag queen's essence, but like also the hair, the garments...

JMA: This is crazy, but I watch a lot of makeup tutorials. That's my calm-down time. It's like watching my Photoshop, especially on these beautiful YouTube tutorials. I can just watch them for hours. That has probably helped with my editing work a lot, knowing what makeup is supposed to look like, if a light hits you in the wrong way. I watch a lot of hair tutorials as though I am creating drag for myself, when I'm not. I'm helping others in their final product in the end.

BF: What was the first drag show you ever went to, or your first gay experience?

JMA: It would've been in college. There is a wonderful gay community in Oklahoma City. There's not a ton of gay bars, but there is this gayborhood where there's about six of them, all on the same block. There's this place called The Boom — if you ever get to go to Oklahoma City, go to The Boom. I have traveled the United States, I have seen gay bars. It is such a special venue, it is so cool. Paige [Turner] told me that she almost got booked there. They're not a big venue for bringing people in, but if you ever get a chance, go to The Boom in Oklahoma City. You will fall in love with it, it's the coolest. They do drag there maybe five nights a week. Thursday night's amateur night. It's different than New York drag. I think everywhere you go, drag has its own culture.

BF: Of course.

JMA: That's where it started. I fell in love with drag when I moved to New York City. I think I saw Paige and I said, “Oh, queens are doing something different here.” After that, just traveling around, seeing the shows and seeing that New York is performance art on a competitive level, that's when I fell in love. I knew I was going be a part of it. I just knew, but I didn’t know that this was how it was going to be. I thought about doing drag for many, many years.

BF: Would you still?

JMA: I don't think that I have the amount of courage and heart to delve into it because it would consume my life. There wouldn't be time for other things. It hasn't left my mind, I think I would like to do it. If I did it at first, it would probably be as a guest, a one night thing, which would be fun. But I will always be involved, I will always be here for the community. Never say never, though.

BF: Right, you know of course.

JMA: You never say never!

BF: Right, here we go.

JMA: I just know how much time and money it is, and all of that is going into this right now. This would take a backseat, and I'm on the train and can't get off.

BF: You said that you had other things you wanted to start working on.

JMA: Well, like I was saying, I grew up doing video productions. Video is the next thing that I would like to incorporate under my umbrella. I would like to start doing videos in any capacity. I would really like to do music videos because I'm also a songwriter, but I don't have to be the person that wrote the song. I would love to start doing music videos with drag queens. I think you can do a lot with a very little budget if you have an artist behind it. Maybe that will go under my umbrella. And I will be producing major things one day. That's the dream but, right now, I'm starting with whatever comes my way.

I have released control of the dream. I know what I want to do, and I know that I want to create art, and I'm no longer trying to control what it is, I just want to help others fulfill their dreams. I think in so doing that, my dream's going to come true. I can't try to control it because that's what I've been doing for the last six months and, I've learned: lose control and stuff will happen for you.

BF: That's a great piece of advice. You just let it happen and it can become a reality.

JMA: You can know what you want do and you can definitely know what you don't want, but just be up and open for people coming your way, wanting to do things and have an open mind because you never know what something's going to lead to. That's the biggest thing I've learned. I have done all these random little things for free, left and right, and sometimes I've done it with a bit of a grudge, thinking, “Ugh, why did I waste my time?” Then, cut to it leading to a life-changing experience. I had blinders on six months ago with my vision of what kind of a company I eventually wanted to create. I may have been letting an opportunity go by because I was so blinded by what I wanted to get done. And I get further ahead when I'm soaking up this.

BF: It's funny that you say that because I've also been going through a transition these past six months. I notice that a lot of higher paying things, especially during Pride, started coming my way. I was like, well if I'm getting paid this much for this thing — unless it was charity — I would usually say no. I just wanna spend more time by myself. I'm going to really start working out and taking care of my boy self.

JMA: Which you need to do.

BF: Absolutely, absolutely. I notice, looking back on it, that all the free stuff that I did, or the things that didn't pay very much, led to some of my biggest opportunities and people that have changed my life later on.

JMA: Not to say that you need to just run yourself ragged and say yes to everything —

BF: Absolutely.

JMA: You just need to listen to your heart and know when something is truly helping others, or if it's just a whatever type of experience. You'll know, and you don't have to say yes to everything.

When you help others through your drag, that’s when you're truly going to be rewarded in the long...that sounds so Christian! But, it's the law of life I'm learning when you are helping others. You're always doing that, whether you know it or not. You're helping people escape every night. You're always doing it, whether you're away. But you have ways to influence the younger community in such big ways.

BF: I don't see you out as much anymore.

JMA: I never go out because I'm so busy.

BF: I know, and I love it. I love that you're so busy. The last time I saw you, we were at the Stephanie's Child concert together.

JMA: That was the most amazing evening. That was amazing, living for them and the art that I'm going to create with them in the future. I go out when I've really been invited personally, because it's something important. I'm not going out to the weekly stuff, but if it's important and I need to be there to support, I try to always be there. I always tun up a little too much, which is why I don't go out.

BF: Understandable, understandable, I get that.

JMA: I can't wake up, I can't do my work.

BF: I'm not an outsider, but being a part, you used to be very heavily within the nightlife community.

JMA: The reason I really got into drag was being an event photographer for BoiParty.

BF: Oh that's right.

JMA: Remember, I was shooting at The West End. We met —

BF: Oh that's so funny. I remember that.

JMA: I met you there as a boy for the first time. I had already met Brita Filter, but I don't think I had connected it. Yes, and that's how I met Alexis Michelle and shot Alexis. Alexis Michelle would actually be the first drag race girl I shot because I shot her right before her season. When those photos went out, it was the first drag race girl I had shot.

We met through being a boy, once again, and those were the jobs that I was holding a grudge against, and that led into being the drag photographer that I am today. I was meeting all these drag queens at these events. Those were days I was begging people to come over.  I used to be like, “I wanna take your picture, I wanna take your picture,” and nobody knew who I was.

BF: Look at you now, everyone's trying to take pictures with you.

JMA: I feel like there were a bunch of girls that aren't around though, anymore. I don't know their names, but I'm picturing faces of all these drag queens I used to get and it’s like they’re not around.

BF: They're dead.

JMA: I think in New York, you either last and become an icon or you're just getting cycled through. It's the way it is. If you last, like once you get to that five year mark in New York, then you're a Sherry Vine.

BF: A staple.

JMA: You become a star in the drag United States world if you can last five years in New York. It's so true. Because look at you, girl, you’re almost at five years.

BF: Well on my way.

JMA: Which is funny because that's half the amount of time that they say it takes to be a New Yorker. Since drag ages you two years for one.

BF: Exactly.

JMA: Five years to be a real, a New York drag icon, five years. That's what James is saying.

BF: If you could see something different within the nightlife community or the LGBTQ community right now, what would you want to see?

JMA: I feel like it's going to be very obvious, although I have been off Facebook now for several months.

BF: Really?

JMA: Yes, I totally deactivated it, so I don't know how things are going. But it seems as though we forget where the people before us have been and the privileges we have today. I see a lot of gay men tearing other gay men down. I see a lot of drag queens tearing other drag queens down and I get that we all have our differences, but in the end, the love needs to prevail. We need to not be living in Trump's world. That's one of the reasons I got off Facebook. It was mostly because I was overwhelmed with a lot of things in life.

We're all here to love each other and not be exclusive. We should be inclusive. We don't have to be best friends with everybody, but we don't need to put down their drag because we don't think it's up to par, you know. Just, if you ain't got nothing to say, you don’t have nothing to say. If you’re here to support, then put your energy elsewhere.

BF: I love that, and I love you.

JMA: It's hard to do sometimes, but as gay men, especially, it's like, “Do you understand this is all we used to have?” I say, “we” loosely because I'm not a part of that generation, but we used to have to ban together, and now we're so blessed and we forget.

BF: No, I agree. I went to Wigstock last weekend.

JMA: Oh, and it looked amazing. 

BF: I've never experienced anything like that in my life. All those different generations of drag icons and legends. Also, the newer generation all coming together and celebrating on this rooftop of this place. Gay like-minded people celebrating each other.

JMA: It's so fucking cool.

BF: It was one of the coolest experiences ever. I'm so glad that you got to talk with me. I love you.

JMA: Is that it?

BF: That's it, girl.

JMA: Oh, work.

BF: It's very simple. It's just like a little interview series. Do you have any crazy things that are coming up soon that you're excited about or that people should look forward to? Where can they follow you?

JMA: You can follow me at @isthatjma. James Michael Avance, across the board @isthatjma. I have lots of things in the works. I'm working on a coffee table book, but there is no timeline on this, so I hate to say it in interviews because people, a year from now, will be like, where in the hell's that coffee table book? I'm shooting Christopher Palu’s like whole new line coming up. If you don't know Christopher Palu, he's like the best designer, not just for drag, but he is the best designer in the world. I’m shooting his fourth collection.

BF: I think I connected you two.

JMA: Perhaps, who knows. It's been so long, I have no idea. There's lots of prospects of shooting some cool people in the works.

BF: That's great. I can't wait to shoot again with you.

JMA: I have a big project with Bob coming up. We're doing a whole line of him and celebrity faces twinning, like Leslie Jones, etc. He's putting them in drag and doing a twin photo shoot. I don't really know what this vision is because a lot of times, things go in one ear and out the other with me, but that's coming up and I'm really excited. It's him and A-List celebrities. These drag queens just bring you all the dreams.

I also have to say, I was talking recently with somebody about just how cool and wild it is, how elevated drag has become. Drag queens are not drag queens anymore, they're these unreachable characters. When you're in their presence — costumes, wig, makeup has gotten so good — that it's really like you’re in the presence of this unreal thing. These girls that I'm shooting, I come in and I'm just like, you look so ridiculous, you look like a Bergdorf's mannequin. It's still drag, but it's so much more than it ever has been.

Designers are designing for you guys left and right. You can make a living with just drag being a hair person, or a living with drag being a designer. A living with drag being a photographer. Drag can fund your life.

BF: I know, it's insane, like Sasha Velour is opening Fashion Week.

JMA: Wilhelmina Models being signed left and right. I mean, it's cool because what I've always said, Brita Filter deserves a seat right next to Meryl Streep. That's how the world should be. Drag should just be who you decided to present yourself as a star.

Monét X Change, it is who she is. Drag is just, oh we wanna look good today. But you guys are being 100% authentically you. We all need to mix, we need to intermingle and it's happening. It's fucking cool.

BF: Come on, art. I love you.

JMA: I love you.

[acehotel]

Spill’t: Brita Filter with Corey Camperchioli

For the second episode of Spill’t, Brita Filter, meteoric drag queen, performer and transcendent human, talks to her old friend, actor and writer Corey Camperchioli about the power of self-love: how it turns shame into a superpower and water into champagne (”cause you’re worth the champagne, honey”), and how it ushers an idea as powerful as Femme, Camperchioli’s new short film, into existence. Femme makes its NYC premiere at Ace Hotel New York on June 22, with both Corey and Brita in attendance. Stop by and tell them how much this interview changed your life. We'll be right there with you (and so will Corey’s mom). 

Brita Filter: Oh my God. Here we go. Yay! I'm so excited! Okay. Hi, guys. So, here I am. I'm with Corey Camperch ... How do I say it?

Corey: Chioli.

Brita Filter: Camperchioli.

Corey: Perfect.

Brita Filter: Camperchioli.

Corey: Yes.

Brita Filter: So, you're mad Italian?

Corey: Mad Italian.

Brita Filter: I love that. I'm obsessed with that. Okay. So, here we are. It's another episode of Spill’t. And so, I created this interview series because when I started drag, I suddenly became in charge of my own art, and I was my own artistic director. And, I realized at the same time that my friend started doing the same thing, and I'm asking them to now spill the tea. Spill’t.

Corey: All right.

Brita Filter: Spill the tea on everything, and how they did it, and what inspired them. And, we're gonna navigate this little interview series and it's gonna help me figure out my adventure and your adventure ...

Corey: Yeah. There's a lot of tea to spill.

Brita Filter: I know. You've been up to so much lately, and I can't wait. I've actually known Corey for so long.

Corey: A long time.

Brita Filter: So long. I think after school is when I met you. After I graduated AMDA, here in the city.

Corey: Yeah. I remember the first time I ever saw you was at Kelsey Mahoney's Halloween party. Halloween's my birthday, and so ...

Brita Filter: Oh, is it?

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: Oh my God. That's amazing.

Corey: So, I'm spooky. And so, I had just gotten this leather-bound owl notebook for my birthday on Halloween. So, I went to this party, and you were there in full owl costume.

Brita Filter: Oh. Yeah. I made an owl costume out of an old cardigan.

Corey: It was iconic. I was quaking when I saw you. I was like, "Who the fuck is this person? I need to meet them." And, I think that was the first time that we met.

Brita Filter: Oh my God. That's amazing.

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: On good old 96th Street and Broadway.

Corey: Yes.

Brita Filter: That's incredible. Oh. Kelsey Mahoney. I miss her.

Corey: Yeah. Love you, Kels.

Brita Filter: And then, it just took off from there, and we're still friends.

Corey: I know.

Brita Filter: You've been there for pre-drag.

Corey: I've been there for pre-drag. I was there for the first performance of Brita Filter ever.

Brita Filter: That's right. At Stonewall.

Corey: At Stonewall. So, I'd been following your journey on Instagram. Okay. I gotta say, I give you a lot of credit because you documented your entire journey of drag.

Brita Filter: Oh. Yeah.

Corey: Because I remember sometimes seeing photos and I'd be like, "Oh. That's a little rough."

Brita Filter: Oh. Yeah, girl.

Corey: You know?

Brita Filter: So rough.

Corey: And, I was actually thinking about this because I'm such a person where I do the work behind closed doors, and then like to emerge as a finished product. And, I was thinking, when I was thinking about you, how you did that transformation in front of everyone's eyes and how brave that was. To just be like, "You know, I haven't nailed it yet, but this is my me." And now, to see that to where you are now is just incredible. And, I think it's really brave too. And, I think it says so much about you as a person that you're willing to put yourself out there in that way.

Brita Filter: Oh. Thank you so much. On your Timehop, there are always things that come up, things from four years ago, and I was like, "Why did I think that this was good to post this?" I look at it now and I'm like, "I should've deleted that."

Corey: No. I'm so glad that you didn't.

Brita Filter: I mean, I know. But, also, at that time, I wasn't a rich white woman like I am now. So, I would take the train in full drag all the time.

Corey: Well, that's where I saw you. So, you had said, "This is my first drag performance." I was like, "I will be there."

Brita Filter: Yes.

Corey: So, I get on the train, and I saw you on the train on your way to the gig.

Brita Filter: Oh my God! Yes.

Corey: And, you were so nervous. I do remember that. And, I remember you being in a horrible wig.

Brita Filter: Horrible. The smallest bob ever.

Corey: The smallest wig. And so, you got to the show, and then one of your drag queen sisters was like, "Girl, you cannot wear that. I'm giving you the wig off my head." And swapped wigs with you. Is that right?

Brita Filter: Yeah. Absolutely. It was a shake-and-go little bob that I stole from the recent production of Cinderella that I just did. I was like, "Guys, I'm taking this." Actually, I don't even think I told anyone. I just legit took it.

Corey: On your way out, just did it.

Brita Filter: Yep. "Thank you so much! Appreciate it!"

Corey: "Thank you."

Brita Filter: "Thanks, equity." It's amazing.

Corey: And, to see how far you've grown and blossomed and flourished ... I'm just so incredibly proud of you.

Brita Filter: Thank you so much.

Corey: Well, like I said, I'm so excited to talk to you today because I admire you. And, you're doing some incredible things right now. And, you're such a great artist. I even remember we spent ... I think it was a week in the ... Were you there? With ... Where was that?

Brita Filter: The beach?

Corey: No. In New Hampshire.

Brita Filter: Yeah. The beach in New Hampshire.

Corey: Interlakes. At Interlakes.

Brita Filter: Yeah. Interlakes. So, we've had so many adventures together, but I don't really know the beginning of where it all started, and where you come from, so, could you tell me a little bit about where you grew up, your family...

Corey: Sure.

Brita Filter: How you got started. Were you always singin' and dancin' out of the womb? Did you study theater? Was it musical theater? Or ...

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: Tell me about you. I wanna know.

Corey: Okay. I grew up in Bridgewater, New Jersey. Central Jersey. It's maybe an hour and a half to New York. So, New York just always existed as this place that's really close, and that I always wanted to be apart of. And, I remember always wanting to go to New York. And, I was in second grade and I hadn't gone yet, and I remember my teacher ... her name was Miss Davis, and she looked me dead in the eye, and she was like, "You are going to love New York." And, I feel like it was her seeing me as this femme, little boy who'd grow up to be queer, and was like, "You're gonna find your people in New York."

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, I've never forgotten that.

Brita Filter: Oh. Really? That's so cool.

Corey: I didn't understand the significance of it in the moment, but I knew it was such a moment of being seen, I guess. I have the most incredible, supportive family. My sister is my best friend. And, I always wanted to go to NYU. Got accepted into NYU Tisch to do drama ... to study drama, which was incredible. And then, while I was there, I spent two years in the Strasberg Studio studying method acting. And then, I did a year just doing Shakespeare. And then, I did a year of Film and TV, and I feel like it gave me a really well-rounded education as far as acting.

Brita Filter: Yeah. Of course.

Corey: And then, I graduated and really couldn't get any momentum going at all career-wise.I had one really cool thing. Right when I graduated, I shot my first short, and it was opposite Laverne Cox.

Brita Filter: Oh my God. Oh. Yeah.

Corey: It was before “Orange is the New Black.” So we had these night shoots in Brooklyn. And so, I met her, and it was like, "Oh my God. You are so incredibly gorgeous." She was like, "Every single day, someone stops me on the street and tells me that I look like Beyoncé. And I was like, "Oh my God. Who are you? You're an icon." So, that happened. And then, that went to Tribeca Film Festival, which was amazing.

Brita Filter: Oh. Wow.

Corey: So, that was right when I graduated. And, I felt like I had all this momentum. I had just gotten my equity card. And then, I just couldn't take things to the next level career-wise.

Brita Filter: Yeah. Were you auditioning for things?

Corey: I was auditioning, but I was so specific. But, yeah. People didn't know what to do with me in a lot of ways.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And so, it was really frustrating. And then, I did a pilot out in LA with this producer whose name is Benno Rosenwald. So, I went out there, did that, and he was ... And he was someone that I had known in college. I had seen him out in parties, 'cause he was friends with a lot of my same friends. So, he had always seen me going out, being sloppy with Dave, and my crew, you know?

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, also be in drag and dress up, and be myself. And, it always felt, when I was going in these rooms for these auditions, that I had to dull my shine, basically.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, try to act manly and act straight. And, after we did this pilot, he was like, "I think that there's something really special about you, and I want to represent you as a manager." And, that was the first time that I ever felt like I was seen by someone in the industry for exactly who I was.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, that they said, "You are special. You are perfect exactly as you are ... this queer, femme being."

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, I think that that should be celebrated. You know?

Brita Filter: Of course. That's so great.

Corey: So, he started to do...I'm monologue-ing. Is this okay?

Brita Filter: No. I'm obsessed with it. Yes. Keep going, girl. I'm so excited to hear the story.

Corey: So, he started managing me as an actor, and he would get me into rooms. But, like I said, same thing. Everyone would be like, "You're so specific. Also, we don't know what to do with you." And, I couldn't get any traction. And then, he said to me ... he was like, "You are so specific. No one knows what to do with you. If you tell your story, I will produce it. And, let's do that."

Brita Filter: Oh. Wow.

Corey: And, it's so funny. Now, looking back on it, when we recap that story, he's like, "Yeah. I didn't really think anything of it. I just kinda like stuff, and let's do something."

Brita Filter: Yeah. Right?

Corey: But, that moment was such a turning point for me because I feel like so many times, as queer people, we feel like we can't take up space. And, I feel like so much of my life growing up was learning how to take up space ... learning to feel like I am valid and worthy. And, for someone to look me in the eye and say, "I think your story is worth telling.", and ... it completely changed my life.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, I think he gave me the permission to tell my story that I never gave myself.

Brita Filter: That's so cool.

Corey: And, Femme was born from that conversation.

Brita Filter: People don't know what Femme is. What is Femme? Now, there's this giant thing that you've created, which is Femme, which I was so lucky. This morning, I watched it finally. And, I was waiting 'til the last minute, 'til I realized it was all right with you to watch it. And, it's so special, and I love it. And, it's shot so well, and ... What is your idea that you have for it? Right now, it's only a twenty-minute ...

Corey: Short film. Femme is a short film that I wrote out of that conversation with my manager at the time, and now producer of the film, Benno Rosenwald. It's a short about a character named Carson who goes to hook up with someone on Grindr, and gets turned away for being too femme, and then has to unpack what that means, and sort of examine gender roles and gender performance within the LGBTQ community, and really learn how to love himself for who he is.

Brita Filter: When you originally sat down to write this, what was your initial idea of what this thing would be? Did you go in thinking, "This is definitely going to be a short film. This is" ...

Corey: So, once Benno sort of gave me the permission that I so needed, it was very scary because I didn't know what my story was.

Brita Filter: Permission. Of course. Yeah.

Corey: And, I had to take some time for myself and say, "Well, what is your story? What is important to you?" And, I think the thing that I did that helped me discover that was called Morning Pages, which is a tool within The Artist's Way, which is a book by [Julia Cameron}. And, basically, what it does is: every morning, you wake up and the first thing that you do is you write two pages. You're not supposed to censor yourself in any way. It's supposed to be, basically, a mind dump, where you're writing down all the things that are coming to your mind so that you can greet the day fresh and as a clean slate.

Brita Filter: Yeah. Okay. That's beautiful.

Corey: To greet the day with a fresh perspective. And so, this idea of gender performance kept coming up, and coming up, and coming up. And also, feelings of not being worthy and not loving myself kept coming up and coming up.

And, I think after seeing them so many times, it gets to a point where you're like, "I have to do something about this." And, the truth of it is that I did not love myself, and I felt unworthy of love because of my femininity, and the fact that people perceived me to be feminine. And, I wanted to write a movie which celebrated femme because I didn't love myself, and I wanted something that showed being femme as being powerful and strong and something that's celebrated. And, so many times, you see femme characters as the secondary characters, or ...

Brita Filter: Oh, yeah.

Corey: The butt of the joke. They're not sexualized. And, I was like, I wanna make a film where the person who's femme is front and center. And, I also wanna take the identifier as femme which I, for so much of my life, have felt to be something negative, and I wanna attach this positive, beautiful connotation to it.

Brita Filter: Of course.

Corey: And so, in that way, it was aspirational, because I didn't love that part of myself yet.

The biggest journey for me was starting the project not loving my femme, and now, learning to love that part of myself and embrace that part of myself. And then, the last chapter is inspiring that in other people.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And so, I started to get tweets and stuff from people around the world. I had a Tweet from this kid from Morocco the other day. He was like, "Hey. Being gay in an Arab country is hard enough, but being gay and femme is even harder. So, I just wanted to thank you. This is so important." Someone from Indonesia reached out and was like, "This is what I'm striving to be. I'm striving to love myself in that way." So, it's just absolutely crazy.

Brita Filter: You know, it's funny that you say that because there was so much for me growing up, too. Number one, I grew up Mormon. And, they were very set in their ways — how things should be, what they do and what they see, and they're also the most talented people in musical theater.

Corey: Yes! Honestly, yes.

Brita Filter: So, I was like, "Mm-kay. Well," ...

Corey: Do you know Hey Rooney? Andy Simmonds?

Brita Filter: No.

Corey: So, he was actually one of the first people that really inspired me as far as owning his femme-ness.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, he was a Mormon. He grew up Mormon in Utah.

Brita Filter: Oh. Did he?

Corey: In Salt Lake City. And so, I followed him from Instagram, and he had a whole line of clothing and artwork around the femme identity. So, he had a hat that said "Make America Femme Again.”

Brita Filter: Oh my God.

Corey: And, I just remember looking at his Instagram and being like, "Wow. People love him because of his femme." And, he took femme as an identifier and he inspired me to do the same.

Brita Filter: Right?

Corey: So, I loved the "Make America Femme Again" hats. So, I bought one, and it came and it got delivered, and I was so excited. And, I was gonna post it on social media, and I got so nervous about doing it , about posting anything with the word femme on it. Because I felt like people would judge me for it, and I felt like it was such a dirty word.

Corey: And, I don't think I posted it on Instagram. Because I was ashamed of it. And, to think the arc of that to where I am now is just crazy.

Brita Filter: Right?

Corey: But, he was one of the first people, a fellow Mormon, who really inspired me to own that identity.

Brita Filter: Right? That's so great.

Corey: I could not have done it without him. And, he did the graphics for it.

Brita Filter: Oh. Really?

Corey: He did the logo.

Brita Filter: Oh. No. Shut up.

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: I was just gonna say, one of my favorite things about it is the logo itself.

Corey: It's so good. Right?

Brita Filter: It's so good.

Corey: Yeah. Rooney was ... Besides Benno, who produced it, Rooney was the second person to come on board for the project.

Brita Filter: Really?

Corey: All I had was a script. And, he had just moved to New York, and I was like, "Hey. You are so inspiring." I'm like, "Is there any way you would do the graphics for this?" And he was like, "Absolutely."

Corey: And, another thing that I realized from this is ... just reach out and ask.

Brita Filter: Right?

Corey: I just sent Rooney a DM. Johnny Sibilly, who's one of the leads in it.

Brita Filter: I'm absolutely obsessed with him. One hundred ... I saw him in it, and I was like, "You gotta be fucking kidding me." I was like, "I'm obsessed with him." I don't even think he knows who I am, but I'm so obsessed. I watch his Insta Story every day.

Corey: Me too.

Brita Filter: He's the funniest thing in the world.

Corey: I know!

Brita Filter: I was like, "When I grow up, I wanna be you. I wanna be living your life."

Corey: Same. But, I have been such a fan of him for so long, and all I did was send him a DM on Instagram, and was like, "Hey. I'm such a fan of yours. Would you consider reading this script?" And, he was like, "Sure. Absolutely." And, just this whole thing has given me so much faith in the queer community. I think it started out of this feeling of judgment from the community.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, feeling like I wasn't accepted in the community. And, it's turned into the complete opposite as far as I think acknowledging that there is a section of the community that is like that, but also understanding that there's a bigger part of the community that really has my back, and is supportive and down to support all of us.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: So, that was the biggest lessons that I got from this. And also, if you have a dream and you just commit to doing it, it's crazy how the universe provides you with all of the tools that you need to make it happen.

Brita Filter: Right. Isn't that crazy? Yeah.

Corey: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off.

Brita Filter: Oh. No. You're fine.

Corey: I wanna hear about Mormon ...

Brita Filter: It's crazy how ... I mean, a big thing ... I started winning when I started making my own art and making my own opportunities available to myself.

I mean, yeah. I still beat myself up with daily things in my life, like me calling Sallie Mae and asking her, "Hey, girl. You wanna give me a couple more months, honey?" What's she gonna say? No? I mean ...

Corey: But, truly ...

Brita Filter: "'Cause I have no money, girl!" So ...

Corey: Yes.

Brita Filter: I know. True. But also, I mean ... Growing up, Mormon ... and also Polynesian. My dad is fresh off the boat, straight up from Tonga, giving you Maui from Moana.

Corey: Moana.

Brita Filter: Yes. Maui from Moana. He is a man. A man, a man, a man. And, I would always, as a child, be pushed into taking karate. The farthest they would let me go ... I couldn't be in dance, but I could do gymnastics. And ...

Corey: You asked to be in dance and they said ...

Brita Filter: Yeah. I asked to be in dance. It was just a little too expensive for them. They didn't really get it.

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: But, I played football. I played soccer, and all those others things.

Corey: Where was this?

Brita Filter: This was in Arizona.

Corey: Yes.

Brita Filter: Phoenix, Arizona.

Corey: Max is from there too.

Brita Filter: Yes. Yeah. Max and I grew up together.

Brita Filter: Yep. Emma Stone ...

Corey: All those people.

Brita Filter: It's crazy how we all full-circle. All these folk now live in New York City, and they're very successful.

Corey: Yeah. And, killing it.

Brita Filter: And, killing the game.

Corey: Something was in the water.

Brita Filter: Right? No. Totally. There is, in Arizona. But, I always was so afraid to be femme because my parents didn't want me to be. And, I always knew that was inside of me. And, until I started a web series called "You Better Work Out".

Corey: Which is in my phone.

Brita Filter: Yes. Which is how I'm in your phone, which I'm obsessed with. And, when I started it, I didn't initially think that it was gonna be...I mean, I wanted to look like the guys that were in these magazines. These sexy, six-pack daddies with giant arms.

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: And so, for those of you that haven't seen it, you should check it out 'cause it's still on YouTube. I lost sixty pounds in six months by doing just ... I was trying to find the newest, coolest, gayest way to work out. And, not 'till I saw what I was doing did I realize ... I was like, "Oh my God. You are so" ... I was so gay. So gay. So femme. In the beginning, I was like, "Should I really be putting this online? What is my family gonna think of me being out, proud, queer, talking about men in this specific way? What are they gonna think about it?"

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: And, as soon as I did start putting all this content together for six months of material, I started to realize ... I was like, "Oh my God. I'm actually really good at this. I'm funny."

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: "And, I'm really good at being myself ... being gay." And I would always try to be ... I'd always try to push it away.

Corey: Course.

Brita Filter: Especially going into auditions and being a man in musical theater.

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: "Okay. You're singing and dancing, but can you do it as a man?"Is what they would say when I went in for the Miss Saigon audition for the chorus call. I'm like, "Ugh. That's just not me.", until someone took a chance on me and was like, "Hey. Do you wanna play a stepsister in Cinderella?" I was like, "One hundred percent I’d like to." And, not until that moment did I really ... I was like, "Oh my God. It's okay. I can do this. I can be myself."

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: And, I feel like I was always meant to wear high heels on stage. I'm great at performing, being a feminine creature in the world.

Corey: How did that feel, the first time you did that and and posted about it? Was it ... How did that make you feel?

Brita Filter: It just felt ... You know, the first time I ever tried on a pair of heels, it felt right.

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: It was just so funny. I mean, when I was a kid, I would legit ... Before my parents started telling me that I couldn't do certain things that my sisters did, I would always wanna sing Jasmine's part on my karaoke Playschool microphone.

Corey: Yes.

Brita Filter: I wouldn't wanna be Aladdin. I was like, "My voice is higher and fits better with Jasmine, so I'm gonna go ahead and take that one." And, I would always be the princess, and if I wasn't the princess, I was definitely gonna be Ursula, and I was just gonna kill everyone. But, I never wanted to be the prince. I never wanted to be any of these manly characters.

Corey: Yeah. Same.

Brita Filter: And ... until there was a moment in my childhood that people were like, "You can't do that. You're not allowed to do that." And it took up until my mid-twenties for me to figure out, "Oh. Wait. This is who I am, and I'm actually really good at being who I am." And, when I finally created Brita, which is ... I never really realized until talking to you that celebrating my femininity would be the biggest career-changer in my entire life.

Corey: Same.

Brita Filter: Right?

Corey: It's unbelievable. Who knew it was that easy?

Brita Filter: Right? So easy.

Corey: "Hello. Just be yourself! That's all you need!"

Brita Filter: That's it.

Corey: And, it sounds so cliché, but it's so crazy. And, to think that I would beat myself up about these things that, now, are my superpower.

Brita Filter: Right?

Corey: And, that's the biggest challenge. Take the thing that you feel less than and turn it into your identifier. Turn it into your superpower, and it will set you free.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, the thing is, yeah. What? You're gonna call me femme? You're gonna call me girly? Yeah. You know what? I'm in a fucking film about it. And, what else you got?

Brita Filter: Right? Yeah.

Corey: What else you got? Throw it at me.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: Period. That's a conversation stopper in a lot of ways.

Brita Filter: Right?

Corey: Yeah. I owned it and made something out of it, and so did you.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, it changed my life.

Brita Filter: One hundred percent it has. It's so crazy. And, I was always so afraid of it. And then, now, it's nuts.

Corey: I told you that I identify with feeling that way growing up. What was it like for you the first time you posted a picture in drag on Instagram, or something like that? That's what I find to be so fascinating.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: The second that you do own it, and what that brings up.

Brita Filter: You know, it's funny. Now that I look back on all of these things that I did do, I was like, "What were you thinking?" When I posted them, it's like, "Why?" 'Cause some of these pictures in drag ... I look horrible. But, I don't know. I kind of just ... I think I just kind of did it, and it turned out how it was supposed to be. I really didn't second guess any of it.

Corey: Were you scared about how people would react to it?

Brita Filter: I think the only people that I was afraid of reacting would be my family ... my mom, 'cause I'm so close with my mom and my sisters. I really didn't care about my dad 'cause we really weren't that close.

But, I was just thinking about what she would think of it. But, when I did start doing drag — I've said this numerous times — it was like coming out of the closet again.

Because our families don't really get our community. One hundred percent they don't. My mom just didn't understand what a drag queen was.

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: She thought I wanted to be a trans woman. And, I was like, "No. Mom, that's not it. I'm just doing this for entertainment purposes only."

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: But also, this is kind of in my body. I don't know.

The way that I've created Brita, and how she lives. This has always been inside of me. It's such an amazing thing to release it every single night, and be like, "I have this little secret. I am so femme, and I'm gonna show you." And, celebrate it every single night, which is so cool.

Corey: Yeah. How is your mom about it now, if you don't mind me asking? You'd post on Facebook that she was maybe upset about some of the things ...

Brita Filter: Yeah. She was upset about the content.

Corey: Interesting. It wasn't the persona so much as the content?

Brita Filter: No.

Corey: Interesting.

Brita Filter: It was more the content. She was just worried that — She doesn't want me to be nasty.

Corey: Which you're not.

Brita Filter: Well, there are some mixes that ...

Corey: "Nasty" like sexual? Or "nasty" ...

Brita Filter: Sexual. She just didn't want me to be saying a lot of curse words and things like that. She doesn't mind that I dress up like a woman, but ...

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: The minute I start to get like, "Fuck this. Fuck that." "Pussy." She was like, "I don't like that." Which, I've also realized while making Brita and along her career, that it's better to be ... I don't know. How Disney does it. Disney is really good at putting adult jokes in there, but lightly skimming the surface. And, it's hilarious to the adults, but the kids are like, "What?"

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: So, being really smart with content when I do it as Brita.

Corey: Sure.

Brita Filter: I think it's the hardest thing.

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: But, also the most rewarding, if you can hint at it instead of just saying, "Yo, your pussy smells."

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: That's a little crass. But, if you can be clever with it ...

Corey: If you can do a number about being obsessed with cats and doing online dating.

Brita Filter: Exactly. One hundred percent.

Corey: Wait. I'm really excited for my mom to see you, 'cause for ...

Brita Filter: Oh. Is she coming?

Corey: Yes, for the New York premiere.

Brita Filter: Yes. Oh. So, if you want ... If you're in New York City and you want to see Femme, there's the New York premiere.

Corey: Yeah. June 22 at Ace Hotel.

Brita Filter: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Corey: Hosted by Brita.

Brita Filter: Yep. One hundred percent. I'm hosting it. I'm so excited and so thrilled.

Corey: I'm so happy that you're hosting it, you're gonna be there, and I just feel like you are so tied to my experience in New York and my experience growing up in New York. I mean, you know.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: Maturing and coming into my own in New York. And, my parents have never been to a drag show.

Brita Filter: Really?

Corey: I'm so excited for them to see you.

Brita Filter: This is so great. Right?

Corey: And, even just talking about my parents and identifiers and stuff, it's ...

Brita Filter: Now, when did you come out?

Corey: I came out ... Well, they always knew.

Brita Filter: Did they?

Corey: Yeah. Of course. Yeah.

Brita Filter: Okay. Yeah.

Corey: I didn't come out until I was dating someone, which wasn't until after my sophomore year of college.

Brita Filter: Oh. Really?

Corey: Yeah. I felt like, "Straight people don't come out for no reason." So, I was like, "I'm not gonna come out until I'm dating someone."

Brita Filter: Right?

Corey: And so, I was...God. I was on a theme park contract doing Bob the Builder.

Brita Filter: Oh. Come on! Please tell me you're playing Bob.

Corey: I was Bob's trusty assistant.

Brita Filter: There you go. The femme sidekick.

Corey: Yes! And, I just fell in love with one of my castmates. And, it was so wild falling in love away from anyone who's ever known me.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: 'Cause I was with a cast of eight people in a city I've never been before. And, I feel like you fall in love and you just act insane.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: Or, rather, I did the first time I fell in love. And, you lose your sense of self and your equilibrium in so many ways, and it was so hard to not have a support system physically there.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: I was on the phone will all of my friends and my family and stuff. And, one time, we got into an argument about something and I called my mom, and I was really upset. I was like, "I just got into a fight with this person that I'm dating and his name is da-da-da." And, it was a boy's name. And, she just helped me through the situation. That was her focus.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, afterwards, she was like, "I love you so much, and I'm so happy that you came out to me and you told me." And, I'll never forget. I was under a willow tree in Buffalo, New York, and I'll never forget it.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, I guess I do have a regret that I never told my father in person. I let my mom tell my dad.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: But, he's so supportive, and I love him. But, I sorta wish that I had that moment with him. For his sake, probably, that it came from me. But, I do have to say, my hero is, obviously my parents, but my grandfather. He's just the most amazing man I know, and he's such a badass.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: He must be eighty. He loves to drive convertibles, loves to gamble, is tatted up ...

Brita Filter: Yes! Really?

Corey: A badass. And, I've always loved to talk to him. He'll talk to anyone. So accepting. And, it's never a conversation that we had. He's always accepted and loved me for me.

Brita Filter: Mm-hmm.

Corey: And, he's really taken on to the femme thing and is just like, "Live your dream. Do it." But, I never really told him what it was about. And, I think he sort of came to understood what it was about 'cause the family was talking. And so, I was home last weekend. He was asking me how it was, and I said that it was going really well, and I told him that someone from Indonesia reached out and Tweeted about how much they liked the film. And, he goes, "A gay?" And, I was like, "Yeah." And, I broke down crying. It sounds so insignificant, but the fact that he accepted me for who I am ... I think so much of this film is me wanting to love myself, but also wanting acceptance from him.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: You know? And my family. And, to have him say that to me just meant the world.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, that's all we have to say. I don't have to say anything more. And, he also said ... He said, "To a gay?" And, I was like, "Yeah." He goes, "Yeah. Take all their money."

Brita Filter: Yes!

Corey: Because he's such a badass.

Brita Filter: Oh my God. Come on, badass grandpa.

Corey: He's like, "You know what?" Yeah.

Brita Filter: "Take all their money."

Corey: "Make the coins."

Brita Filter: "Make that coin, baby." That's incredible. Wait. So, when did you finish writing it, officially?

Corey: Yeah. It took a year.

Brita Filter: A year?

Corey: Yeah. It went through a lot of drafts sort of honing in what I wanted to say and how to say it.

Brita Filter: Mm-hmm. It's executed so beautifully. Everything's set up ... Also, I just love how, being a person ... a fellow performer/actor who often watches a lot of my friends' stuff ...

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: And, when you watch your friends' stuff, you're like, "All right, I'm gonna try and enjoy it, but also, I'm gonna put on, obviously, my reading glasses."

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: And we're gonna be like, "Okay. So, what is this that you made?"

Corey: "What you got?"

Brita Filter: Right? Because your friend's all like, "So, you know they're gonna ask you. What did you think?" And so, I mean, there's so many times where I watch my friends' stuff and ... I mean, I would either do it differently, or sometimes, you gotta break it down to your friends.

Corey: Sure.

Brita Filter: Especially when you're going to the AMDA, 'cause there's so many people that graduate from that school. It's like, "Well, you know, you're not really an actor. You know, maybe you should try doing something else."

Corey: But, isn't it funny how, also, people find that out on their own?

Brita Filter: Yeah. They find out on their own. However, with this, while watching it, I love. There's so many beautiful moments. And, there's so much said in the silence, and for the characters waiting for each other. I guess I'm just used to working with horrible people. They just graze over these beautiful moments that are available to them. And, it's really captured very nicely.

Corey: Thanks.

Brita Filter: And, you're such a great actor.

Corey: Thanks.

Corey: You know, I feel like so much of what you're talking about is really done by our director. His name is Alden Peters, and our editor, whose name is Tovah Leibowitz, so much of that was crafted by them. I think that my story was true and relevant, but they added a tone that I don't think was there on paper.

Brita Filter: Really? Okay.

Corey: And, I think so much of this for me is trying to take my ego out of it. And, I think the best thing I ever did in this entire project is surround myself with people who are better than I am. Because I'm not a director. I hired an incredible director, and I let him do his thing, and I gave him the space to do his thing. And, that's hard, especially in the editing process. I did not see one stitch of footage when we were filming or in the editing ... I wasn't in the editing process. I let them do their vision because I'm so much a part of it. I needed an objective eye.

Brita Filter: It's probably for the best too. Yeah.

Corey: And, they took it to places that I never even dreamed it could go. And, it wouldn't have gotten there if I was hovering over them and not allowing them space to do their job.

Brita Filter: Just trust them.

Corey: It's incredible. Tovah is also the editor of “Broad City.” So, that feeling that you get, that's 'cause of them. And, Alden...This is actually crazy.  Another one of those universe moments — I ran into Alden at a warehouse party in Brooklyn. We were talking, and then we went our separate ways. We added each other on Facebook. He was doing press for a movie that he had done. I was like, "Oh. He's a director." Years went by and I was looking for a director. I reached out to him. We had a great meeting over drinks. I hired him as a director before I even saw anything that he's worked on. I just knew.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: I just knew that he was the guy for it. And then, once he did the Kickstarter video, that's when I knew. I was like, "Oh. You got the tone."

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: 'Cause the tone was so fun and bright and quick. And, like I said, that wasn't something that was on paper.

Brita Filter: Mm-hmm.

Corey: He really added that. And, just the whole team came together and our executive producer, who's Rachel Brosnahan, who just won a Golden Globe for Best Actress for The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

Brita Filter: Oh my God.

Corey: We're so thrilled to have her apart of it. I don't know. The whole team just really fell together. And, it is one of those things where it's just ... the universe provided.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: The second that you become committed to making your dream happen, that's when everything falls into place. But, you have to have the courage to say, "I'm all in."

I was working at a day job, which wasn't horrible, but I didn't like it anymore. Nothing was happening for me audition-wise. Nothing. I was in this long-distance relationship with this guy who lived in London. And, I was so in love with the idea of having someone. But, obviously, it couldn't work. We weren't on the same continent.

So, anyway, we kept up this relationship. I met him when he was here on vacation.

Brita Filter: Holiday.

Corey: On holiday. I was gonna say holiday, and then I was like, "No. That's too boujee." So, anyway, he flew back to London. We kept up communication. And, he was like, "Let's go ... let's take a trip together." And, I was like, "Okay." I was like, "I've always wanted to go to Berlin." He's like, "Let's go to Berlin." So, I was like, "'Kay."

So, we book a trip to Berlin together. He flies from London to Berlin. He's waiting for me in Berlin. I get to the airport. I give the person my passport. My passport expired in two months, and you need four months in order to go to Germany.

Brita Filter: Oh my God.

Corey: So, they didn't let me on the plane.

Brita Filter: Oh my God!

Corey: And, I couldn't go to see him. And, I was devastated.

Brita Filter: I'm sure.

Corey: Truly broken. And, it was a low where I was like, "You know what? This is the biggest sign from the universe I've ever received in my life." I've never in my life received something that has been so blatantly like, "Stop. Take a second."

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, I had to really take stock of my life, and I was like, "You know what? I'm at a day job that I really don't like anymore."

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: "Nothing's happening for me audition-wise ... Which, that's fine, but call a spade a spade. And, I threw myself into this relationship that isn't real, but it's because I don't feel worthy and don't feel like I'm worthy of love. So, I'm settling on something that's not the real deal."

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, Shannon just came in, your roommate.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: I know Shannon from CREATE with Kristen Hanggi and Natalie Roy.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, I went to the CREATE class the day afterward. And, they said something like, "If you have a cup of water and you actually want champagne in it, you have to empty out the water in order to get the champagne. And, there's a period of waiting there where you don't have anything. But, it's worth it to get what you actually want." And, that's what I did with that relationship. I was like, "I have to cut off this relationship."

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: "I have to get out of this day job, and I have to make Femme."

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: "I have to do this."

Brita Filter: Oh my God. I'm so happy that you're saying this right now. This is hitting me on a bunch of levels.

Corey: Is it?

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: Talk to me.

Brita Filter: Because I've kind of been going through this ... something that's similar, but it's just so funny you're saying that right now 'cause I'm like, "Oh. Maybe I gotta empty out some water."

Corey: Yeah. 'Cause you’re worth the champagne, honey.

Brita Filter: Yeah. No.

Corey: You are.

Brita Filter: Of course. That's so funny. That's amazing. So, that was a giant moment for you.

Corey: That was a moment.

Brita Filter: Ooh, girl. “I gotta empty out the water. I gotta filter something else."

Corey: You good. Yeah. It's time to upgrade, baby.

Brita Filter: God, I need to stop filtering champagne. You're right. That's a beautiful story of realization. Wow.

Corey: Yes. Yeah.

Brita Filter: And, how long ... When did it take you to ... Going to that class ... that's when you realized? Or ...

Corey: Yeah. I mean, the class was all about doing the work to love yourself. And, it just highlighted that I didn't love myself. You know? And, the work that I needed to do to get there.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: 'Cause it's a long journey.

Brita Filter: Of course. You know, I ... Right now, I'm ... In my life, I'm kind of struggling with taking care of my boy self, and making sure that my boy self is in good shape, 'cause I focus so much of my energy on Brita Filter all the time.

Corey: But, can I say something?

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: You have to take care of yourself, because if not, you can't ...

Brita Filter: That bitch won't work.

Corey: You can't ... It's like how they say, "You have to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on someone else."

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: You have given me the oxygen mask so many times, but you need to make sure that you put it on yourself first. Because you can't really do that job unless you're filled.

Brita Filter: Yeah. Right?

Corey: Spiritually and emotionally. And, that's why I said to you earlier ... I was like, "Are you taking care of yourself?"  Because you gotta. And for me ... So, personally, I have a day on the weekend, Saturday or Sunday, where I don't leave Astoria period. It's not negotiable. And, that's where I take care of myself. And, I like to go to the gym. I like to go grocery shopping, and do a face mask and light some candles, and do some writing. And, it's hard because in New York, everyone wants to be doing something.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: But, I had to be diligent about keeping that time for me, because if not ... You know what's funny? I always get sick if I don't have that day.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: I always get sick, and it's my body saying, "Hey. Slow down." "Take one for you." And, you have to do that.

Brita Filter: Yeah. You're absolutely right.

Corey: Your own version of that. Whatever that is.

Brita Filter: Totally. Yeah. I know. I've been saying no to a lot of things. Learning to say no.

Corey: Good. You should.

Brita Filter: So, after making that realization and writing such a badass script, and then creating it, then what happened? Once it had a finished product, what did you do with this amazing thing?

Corey: Thanks. Well, the period after we wrapped sort of ... the next six months were kind of dark for me. Because the editing process was really hard, especially when I wasn't in the room.

Brita Filter: Of course.

Corey: And, I had so many moments where I was like, "Oh. This isn't gonna live up to what I thought it would be." And I now know that's just the natural progression of editing, and that it's gonna be bad and then, later, in coloring and sound and all these different things until you get a full product. But, there were really dark moments where I was like, "Well, I just ... We didn't do it. We didn't get it."

Corey: And, that negotiating with yourself is very scary ... of accepting that maybe it wasn't gonna be what I thought it was. And, that it wouldn't match up to my dreams for the project.

Brita Filter: Uh-huh.

Corey: But, like I said, it came together, and I'm so proud of it.

Brita Filter: Really beautifully, I might add.

Corey: But, honestly, I gotta say, it didn't come together until the last second because the crowd scene at the club. We only had a couple of extras. We made it look full, but the audio changes everything.

Brita Filter: Oh. Yeah.

Corey: Adding the support of the crowd.

Brita Filter: I heard that audio. I was like, "Oh my God. They did a really good job."

Corey: Well, because the cut that I saw ... it was two people being like, "Whoo!" You know? And, it just didn't have the same punch. So, I learned so much of just...the arc of post-production.

Brita Filter: Mm-hmm.

Corey: Which is such a thing. But then, we started sending it out to festivals. And, we didn't get in anywhere for months. So, we sent it to all the big, mainstream festivals. So, we sent it to Sundance and Tribeca, and all those things. And, everyone passed on it. And so, we were done with it around August. And then, we didn't get our first acceptance 'till March. So, in that period, it was dark because I was like, "Oh. Well, this thing just isn't gonna happen. It's just not gonna take off."

And, I had such high dreams for it and high hopes for it.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, I was like, "Oh. Wow. I'm so proud of this. Is it shit?  Is it bad and no one's telling me?"

Brita Filter: Right?

Corey: And, I spiraled.

Brita Filter: Girl, I know how that feeling is.

Corey: Oh my God.

Brita Filter: When we were filming “Shade”, I was like, "We're doing this TV show, but is it good?"

Corey: And, it's your story.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, it was my story.

Brita Filter: I was like, "This is my life story." I was like, "God damn."

Corey: Exactly. Yeah.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: So, all those fears really started to creep in.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And then, got the first festival, which was in Boston. And then, from there, it just took off and got momentum. So, we did Boston. We did Miami. We're about to head to Toronto. We're about to go to San Diego. We're about to go to Frameline, which is the largest LGBT film festival in the world.

Brita Filter: Oh. That's incredible. Where's that at?

Corey: It's playing at the Castro Theatre.

Brita Filter: Oh. Wow!

Corey: And, I had a moment. I was so emotional about that, just 'cause I feel like so many of our queer predecessors fought for their lives in that space.

Brita Filter: Right? That's incredible.

Corey: And, the fact that we're gonna share Femme in that space really gets me worked up and really gets me emotional. But, yeah. It's just starting to happen.

Brita Filter: That's so cool. See, bitch? If you build it, they will come.

Corey: You know what? My dad always said that to me. That was our favorite movie.

Brita Filter: Was it?

Corey: Field of Dreams. 'Cause I grew up playing baseball for so long.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: Did that thing. Played for my high school team. And, I look back on it, and I never felt like I fit in with the people that played baseball with me. I always felt different. I always felt weird and strange. But, I'll always look back and treasure that time that I had with my father. And, my father's always been someone who's been so positive. And, he trained me to think positive. And, he would always say, "If you build it, they will come. And, you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take."

Brita Filter: Yes.

Corey: And, all those inspirational things that he loves to read books about. Gandhi and Buddha ... he loves inspirational books like that. He just always taught me to go for my dreams one hundred percent. And, I wanna teach that to my kid. The biggest gift that I could've gotten was to train my mind to think like that. And, I wanna do that for my kid one day.

Brita Filter: Yeah. I love that. You know, I want kids too. One day. We'll see. Okay. So, now that you're at all these festivals ...

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: You're doing all this stuff. The New York premiere is coming up during Pride Week.

Corey: So excited.

Brita Filter: So, where do you ... First question: Did you think that you would be in the place that you are right now a year ago today?

Corey: Yes.

Brita Filter: Okay. Great. Wonderful.

Corey: I did.

Brita Filter: Good.

Corey: I always knew in my bones that this would change my life.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, in the dark times, I held to that feeling that I was given this dream for a reason, and I was given this story for a reason. And, I'm just acting as a conduit of that.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: And, maybe that sounds really ...

Brita Filter: No. It doesn't. It sounds wonderful. I think that femininity is something that I, also ... from what you said at the beginning, that you were pushed away. And, it was something that were against, and it was something you did not want to celebrate it.  And, you saying how you've taken this thing that you thought it was such a negative thing in your life, and you made it this amazingly positive thing. You've made incredible art. It has inspired me so much, you saying that.

Corey: Aw.

Brita Filter: Because I forget that that's what I do every day. I celebrate my femme side every single day by dressing up. And, I forget. And, sometimes I'm like, "Ugh." I second guess myself. And, having someone else say that to me, it really means something, 'cause I'm so ... I am proud of that.

Corey: Yes!

Brita Filter: And, it should be celebrated. And, the guys that are out there in the world that wanna fall in love with Jessie should love me for being me, and that side of me.

Corey: Yes.

Brita Filter: I always try to keep Jessie and Brita separate ... is what I've tried to do lately. And be like, "These are two separate people. This is me as a feminine person, and then this is ... I'm a man when I'm Jessie." But it's really ... I mean, it's a part of me, and I should celebrate it constantly.

Corey: Yes. And also, you have given so many people permission to be that way. Just by seeing you ... someone who's so confident, and who owns that part of themselves. You have given so many people permission to live that way too. You've certainly given me permission to do that.

Brita Filter: I love you.

Corey: I love you too.

Brita Filter: So, where do you see yourself a year from now. What are the plans for Femme?

Corey: Absolutely.

Brita Filter: I wanna tune in on Netflix every single week, and I wanna see Femme.

Corey: You will. This is a timestamp because I know that you will. I know that you'll be able to log into Netflix and see Femme. We're gonna do a series. That's the goal.

Brita Filter: Werk.

Corey: I'm writing it right now. I want Femme to take over the world. I wanna do speaking engagements about it. I wanna write books about it. I wanna do a clothing line.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: I wanna do it all!

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: But, the first step is working on the series, and I'm so excited about it. And, I think part of the series is the character, Panzy LaRue, a drag queen.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: Teaching Carson, my character, how to own himself the way a drag queen does.

Brita Filter: Yeah.

Corey: Right? Because people look to drag queens, I feel like, as inspiration as far as how to live their life.

Brita Filter: Mm-hmm.

Corey: So, the short ended with my character, Carson, having .00001 of the first step towards loving himself, and the series is going to be all of the next steps in learning to love yourself, guided by this character, Panzy LaRue, this drag queen. But, also understanding that this drag queen has their own issues too. And, when the wigs and the hair and the heels come off, this is a person that's struggling with their own issues as well.

Brita Filter: Yeah. It's funny. When you sent me the script, probably a year ago to read it ...And, I read the character, Panzy LaRue, and I was like, "This sounds very familiar." And, I was like, " The voice sounds very much like mine."

Corey: I mean, I would be lying if I said it wasn’t inspired by you.

Brita Filter: It was also so nice to see so many people I know within our community in this.

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: And, so many of our friends ... our mutual friends.

Corey: Yeah. Dave, Ariel, Erika ...

Brita Filter: All of them.

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: I was like, "This is incredible."

Corey: Aja. Yeah.

Brita Filter: Yeah. Everyone is in it.

Corey: I have a question. How do you remember sort of the difference between how it was on paper and seeing the finished product? Was there a gap there? Was it what you thought it would be?

Brita Filter: You know, when I read it, I honestly only read the drag queen part.

Corey: Got it.

Brita Filter: I think I read it at 3 a.m. I was like, "Do I have to go in for this tomorrow? Let me just read this" ... And, there's so many times ... There's so many scripts that I get that are always a drag queen at a nightclub with a microphone.

Brita Filter: I just love how it opens. And, it takes such a positive response to something that is negative in the beginning. And, I felt like I was so invested, because I just wanted to see more about this person celebrating this side of them. It's so funny too. It's so hilarious.

When you guys are on the wall and that little dog comes on, I was dying.

Corey: Unplanned. Real dog.

Brita Filter: I knew it was too. And I was like, "That was totally unplanned." Well,  I'm so excited for this to become a thing, and to grow. And, I'm so excited we have this timestamp.

Corey: I know.

Brita Filter: So, we can look back on this in a year and see how far it goes, and how it's gonna reach everywhere.

Corey: Hopefully you'll be in it too.

Brita Filter: Yeah. No. Of course. I will one hundred percent be apart of it.

Corey: Right.

Brita Filter: I would love that. And please, if you're in New York City, you have to come. It's for the Ace Hotel.

Corey: Yes.

FEMME: THE FILM — Official Trailer from Casa Vera Films on Vimeo.

Brita Filter: And, we're showing it at the Ace Hotel.

Corey: The New York Premiere!

Brita Filter: The New York Premiere!

Corey: It was born in New York.

Brita Filter: Right?

Corey: It traveled all over the goddamn world, and we're back in New York.

Brita Filter: We're back home.

Corey: And, I'm so excited.

Brita Filter: It's gonna be beautiful.

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: And, I'm so excited to ... I'm so excited when I got to talk to you about it, but also host the premiere and know so much backstory.

Corey: Well another thing too is ... It was just so important for me that you do it. I just feel so safe with you and so comfortable with you. And, I'm gonna be a mess that day. I'm gonna be a barrel of nerves.

Brita Filter: I can't wait.

Corey: To have someone there that's like my sister.

Corey: I just feel protected.

.Brita Filter: Yay. Perfect.

Corey: Yeah.

Brita Filter: Well, I can't wait. And, I can't wait to meet your parents and, hopefully, your grandfather comes.

Corey: Yeah! I hope he does too.

Brita Filter: And, I'll get to meet him too. Just so I could put faces to all these wonderful names and the people that have inspired you in your life.

Corey: Yes.

Brita Filter: Well, thank you so much for talking to us. Also, you gotta follow this bitch on social media.

Corey: Oh. Yeah. Follow @coreycamp on Instagram, and follow @femmethefilm on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

Brita Filter: Yes.

Corey: Did I do it right?

Brita Filter: You did. Perfect. I am here for that. And, we'll put links and everything on the bottom of this with a bunch of pictures of Femme and you and ...

Corey: And also, Ace Hotel, bring back the Drag Race viewing party.

Brita Filter: Stat. Please.

Corey: I love you so much.

Brita Filter: I love you too.

[nobeddar]

I'm starting to forget how she looks but the dreams are still vivid

[dermetallurg]

[ggrins]

Happy birthday baby 😘 @emart14

[kino-h]

[glitterboyfloyd-blog]

Spill that T! #tea #spillT #t #tea #serveithot