“To the child we left behind,”
To the child we left behind, I know that things are hard.
I know that life seems terrible, like nothing is ever going to get better.
I know that you’re hurting. I know that you feel like you’re all alone in the world. Like no one cares. Like no one ever will.
I know it’s hard to keep going.
And things are only going to get harder.
. . .
Things will get harder, and even though it’s going to suck you’re going to pull through.
There are going to be so many times that you want nothing more than you want to give up, but you won’t. You’ll pull through. You’ll make it, and you’ll think that it’s over.
But it won’t be over.
... Seems like it’s never over.
. . .
Kiddo, I know more than anyone else that you’ve been through far too much. That destiny dealt you a terrible hand. That the deck, though supposedly stacked in your favor, is instead stacked in favor of everyone else.
You’ve got a lot of pain ahead of you.
You’ll want to give up.
You’ll wish you were dead, at times. You’ll wish that you were never born. That mom and dad never met. That grandpa hadn’t even made Ninjago. You’ll grow to hate the world you live in.
But you won’t give up. You’ll protect your world anyway. You’ll put your life on the line for everyone around you, and even though you hate the world you’re in you’ll do it happily. It’s your job. It’s what you’re meant to do.
It’s what you were born to do.
So you’ll throw yourself into it, and you’ll get hurt, and you’ll keep going.
It . . .
It’s going to take a lot out of you.
You’re going to feel like you’ve lost everything so many times that even if it feels terrible you’ll get used to it. Almost numb to it.
You’re going to go through so much more than any child should ever have to, through no fault or choice of your own. You never had a choice. You were never truly able to pick what you did.
You’re going to make mistakes, sure, and you’ll do things you’ll wish you hadn’t, but all of that... All of that was written in advance. You never chose to do those things. It was preordained that you would do them.
There was never a choice. You never had options.
. . .
Your life is going to suck.
But you’re going to live. You’re going to stay strong.
Thank you for that.
Thank you for staying strong. For holding on.
I wouldn’t be here without you.
I wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t held on so long.
And, sure, you holding on - it was predestined, too. Just like everything else.
But I know how much effort it’s going to take. I know how much it’s going to hurt you. And you’re never going to realize until it’s too late that you didn’t have a choice but to hold on. But that’s okay, because you’re going to make it.
I don’t know if I can honestly say that all of the pain was worth it. Sometimes I don’t think it was. Any of it.
But it’s why I’m here.
So thank you. Thank you for being strong. Thank you for fighting so hard. Thank you for not giving up even when there was no more appealing idea in your mind than giving up.
Thank you.
I love you.
And don’t worry - we still love comic books.
Sorry for the angsty ficlet y’all I just had the urge to draw the picture and then the ficlet smacked me the face and forced me to write it. It’s cool though ‘cuz I enjoyed writing it.
In case it’s not clear, this is meant to be Lloyd talking to kid!Lloyd.
Lloyd gets more and more pessimistic literally every time I write him.
Hope ya liked it though!