Patience is a virtue.
Since about the time school let out for Winter break up until the New Year, I’ve been feeling really defeated spiritually. I kid you not, I have even thought about quitting the whole ‘Jesus follower’ thing. I mean, I just felt (and still do a little) feel like my life isn’t fulfilling. Like I'm missing out on this whole other life that all of my peers are getting to experience. As if there’s some greater life out there where I’m free, happy and apart from Jesus!
Can I just say, if that is not the biggest lie straight from the Devil in the deepest, fiery pits of Hell I don’t know what is!? Literally, that is so backwards I can’t believe that I had begun to believe, even for a smidgen of a second! With Jesus, you can experience unending freedom and joy in ways that you would have never imagined.
I’ve realized that the reason why I had begun to feel this way is because of where I’m at (spiritually) right now. Currently, I’m in a waiting period. As I like to say, God has me in a waiting room. I’ve gone to see Him, I’ve had all the tests ran and I’m just waiting on the results (answers). I’m waiting for Him to write out my prescription (give me guidance). I'm waiting to be cured!
If you know me, you know that my patience level is like 2.5! I want the things that I want exactly when I want them. Not a second before or a second after. If things don’t happen for me within the time frame that I believe that they should, then I’m over it! I lose interest and I become distant. I felt that God should have gotten back with me by now, but He hadn't. So, like Monesha usually does when people don't act the way she thinks that they should, I cut them off. Yep, I decided to cut GOD off..
Lol, that's probably the dumbest thing I've ever tried to do in life! Because in doing so, I was only hurting myself. I was inflicting pain and sadness upon myself for no reason. I was making life harder than what it had to be. And the funny thing about me trying to distance myself from God, is the fact that the whole while, I wanted to talk to Him about how I was feeling. I didn't though because I'm stubborn and hate to admit that I'm ever wrong!
After spending a couple of days alone, I kept hearing and reading the word obedient. Then I understood, if I have such great faith in the Lord, then I should be willing to obey Him. I need to be obedient to the way that He calls me to live and to act. And with that obedience comes patience. I need to be patient. Patient enough to wait, and patient enough to follow His every command.
Patience is a virtue that not everyone has, but we all need.