yes yes break ups break up songs so sad etc but like
can we talk about friendship break ups?
like can we talk about how i used to sleep on your floor when it was too late and too cold to walk the quarter block to my own. your room was my home more than my own room was. we got ice cream together. i loved you. we didn’t fit right and i knew it and you knew it and the whole world knew it and still we fought for so long because goddamn it we wanted to be friends.
i watched that tv show with all of you. i can’t stop thinking about it. it’s been a year and it still hurts when i pass you. i have other friends and i love them so much but it still hurts. i will never be your friend again after what you did but by god i want to.
i told you my secrets and my fears. i told you my hopes and my dreams. you told me yours. now we don’t even wave when we pass each other. i felt safe with you. i felt at home. i laid down on the floor then followed you into the park at night. now im scared to talk to others the way i did you.
i watched you hurt others i knew and i forgave you the moment you acted because you were my friend. then you did the only thing i could not forgive. because you knew me. i could not forgive it because you knew me and you did it anyway. you knew me and you knew it was the only thing that could hurt me and you chose this way to do it.
(i forgave you for what you did. i will always forgive you. that’s why we can never be friends again.)
your dorm was the first place on this campus i called home. i haven’t called this place home since.
i knew i could always go to one of you when i needed. now im falling back in old habits. it’s been a year. i have new people. i still miss you like breathing.
