spto rewrite
okay so I've been thinking about how I would fix this thing in a way that pleases both the old fans and the new ones and I think I finally got it. since bryan didn't want to tell the same story over again, I'm going to respect his wishes (bear with me here) and have a fresh, new take on the franchise that completely does away with the genre, themes, symbolism, magical realism, slice-of-life elements, and pacing like spto did. in fact, why even make this a show? we could just have a great animated movie instead. 1h10, tops. that's probably close to the combined length of all eight episodes anyway. and in the spirit of glorious change I think we should switch dreary canada for somewhere more warm and humid, like a rainforest. bear with me here. like spto, I'm going to keep the time period vague and interchangeable, so my rewrite will combine modern humor and 2000s music with ancient incan society. good, right? right. of course, I'll keep the characters as close as possible to their original incantations, to satisfy the comic fans. scott is an egotistical, small-minded moron with a victim complex and a need to be worshipped. gideon is an old scheming, self-obsessed drama queen. roxie is a kind-hearted and caring but occasionally gruff person. ramona is cool and sexy. lucas is a secretly-good himbo. I would also make some other changes that keep in line with bryan's goals for spto: roxie, for example, will get a bigger role. in fact, she should be a main character. ramona has had enough screentime, so in the spirit of political correctness we'll make her roxie's wife. who needs a league of evil exes, anyway? we're tired of telling the same old story again, after all! also gideon and lucas have a pre-established evil friendship. so we begin the story in basically the same way: egotistical scott pilgrim thinks the world revolves around him. he's been spoiled and coddled his whole life, he's terrible to women, so on and so forth. he's got his own theme song. now let's say that one day he gets into some trouble with gideon- maybe scott is the one who takes away his metaphorical throne instead of spto matthew. so gideon and lucas head down to their secret lab to concoct a scheme to kill him and steal back their throne. their first plan, to create a league of guys who want to kill him, would probably cost too much, so they just decide to poison him. so they invite him over for a nice dinner to make amends, and lucas slips the poison into his drink. but it doesn't kill him! in fact, it turns him into a llama and h
