Daddy - Most people know him as Shane, someone who makes videos for a living doing all sorts of weird or scary things. He used to sing, and you’re pretty sure he used to be a super hero. To you, he still is. He and Mom wished for you, you were born to love him - even when he won’t love himself.
Mommy - Or Ryland, sometimes Daddy, but only when other Daddy isn’t in the room or he complains it’s confusing. You like that he plays with you, and he really does do a lot of the ‘Mom’ stuff, and your other friends’ Moms have sort of taken him in as one of their own. He’s the only reason the house hasn’t imploded. Other people don’t think he’s as extra as Daddy, but you know the truth. It’s one miracle that you were born, it’s another that you’re not completely wild.
Cheeto, Uno and Honey - The pet companions in the party, the RPG ‘summons’ of sorts. Honey especially loves you because you play with her, and you love it when they take naps with you. Cheeto hates everyone, but hates you the least because you sneak him food out of the cupboard when people aren’t looking. Mom and Dad once got in a small argument of confusion because Mom was convinced Dad had been eating cat biscuits or there might’ve been mice in the house. You’re not allowed to feed Cheeto extra anymore. You still do it.
Uncle Garrett - You once wanted him to adopt you when you thought you weren’t loved after all. He brightens up the room, and you like a lot of the same things. You like it when he babysits just so you can read and watch Harry Potter together, or other things that Daddy would literally burn in a fire in the front yard. Like Daddy, he’s a mess, but he’s a favoured mess because he struggles to say ‘no’ to you.
Andrew - Most of the time he has a camera in his hand. He’s too normal to be a part of the ‘squad’ and you sometimes wonder how he ended up here, but you’re pretty sure it’s too late for him to ever escape. He’s probably been cursed in one of those scary videos you’re not allowed to watch. His laugh, like Garrett’s, brings you joy. If you had the brain capacity you might realise you have a ‘crush’ on him, but instead you just obliviously try and take all of his attention. The parents know. They think it’s hilarious. Was Andrew born just to suffer?
Auntie Morgan - The original plan was to have her pop you out and then cringe from a distance, but some weird voodoo happened so nevermind! Besides Grandma she’s the main woman in your life, which is funny because the most ‘womanly’ person is probably Mom. You’re too young, this is confusing. Morgan is scared of you crying. You use this to your advantage. She can usually be found attached to Garrett. Whenever they’re together, Daddy is Stressed.
