9:33 am: a very good time.
On my 19th birthday, I am gifted with friendship. My bestfriend takes care of me in ways that I can't take care of myself. She picks me up and tells me that sex means nothing bc that is what I need to hear. She is there for me every time I cry and on Halloween, when I have a razor blade in my hand bc I am hurting so badly that I am willing to cut my time here short, she saves my life.
On my 20th birthday, I am gifted with the power of family. I can barely get out of bed when my sister runs into my room screaming happy birthday and I put on a brave face. I can't let her see me this hurt on my birthday so the whole day I convince myself to be happy. I am a good liar. My parents hug me extra tight and I feel their strength seeping into me. With their help I can do anything. I spend Halloween with my bestfriend and my sister giggling.
On my 21st birthday I am gifted self-reliance. When my friend leaves me alone with her drunk bf I call him out on his bullshit. When he runs down the hall to hit me I know what is coming and slam the door in his face. He hits my door instead. That Halloween I go to Escape and romp around the rave by myself like the little rave fairy I am. I make tons of human connections and I do it all by myself.
That same week they hire a new associate at work and the universe gives me the best present yet. I am not only gifted with self-reliance that year, but she blesses me with another piece of my soul and it comes in the form of a boyish grin that melts my heart.
