#spreadpositivethoughts

[tentangrasa]

WHY DON’T YOU PAY ATTENTION TO ME?

How many times in your life have you experience ignorance when you speak in front of public? How many times have you to tell your friends or audience so that they listen to you speaking to them? That is so heartbreaking to have such experience, I know. Yet, we can not force people to listen to us, force them to change, except we let ourselves make a change.

We all understand how sad it feels being not paid attention when we talk to other people, whether in private or public conversation. When it happens, it feels like everyone does not respect ourselves. It makes us mostly show our anger as the response to what we face. But, that situation tease my mind like “is it really people not respect us? or is it just us not interesting to be listened?” Because in this life, we can not force people to always listen to our words. Moreover, when the way we deliver the speech is not interesting. At least, this can’t be forced in public speaking. Well, in private talks we could choose to whom we want to share; we could choose who will we share our story that listen to us better. But, in public? I believe we are going to be crazy if we only force people to change, but not the way of how we speak.

In public speaking, we have so many type of audiences with broad interests. With so many people, the concentration to listen to someone speaking is so easily to be distracted. Not to mention, people tend to be bored of the long speech. If we keep thinking that we need to force our audiences to listen to us, how many people should we change? Uncounted. That is why it is better to change ourselves; improve our public speaking skills.

We could start improve our skill by practicing to choose a current and emotional-attached to our audiences. That will help us giving a close and concrete example to our audiences’ life. This also means knowing our audience, to whom we are talking. In addition, it is very suggested to practice when and how to talk, with what intonation, volume and gesture. Also, the most important is that to be able to blend with the audience. It give the positive energy and nuance to audience when listening to our talks.

At last, what I am really trying to say is that, whenever you experience ignorance in public speaking, take it as reminder for you to enhance your ability to speak in front of public. Improve your speaking skills at its best so that people will be dying to listen you giving speech. Change the question from “Why don’t you pay attention to me?” into “What skills or strategies could I improve to make you sincerely listen to me speaking in front of public?” Because, we can not change and force public to listen to us if we never change and improve the way we speak to them.

[tentangrasa]

PERSONAL BRANDING: THE SCIENCE OF SELLING YOURSELF

If you are asked to think about a phone brand, what brand comes to your mind first? Is that Apple? or Samsung?

Well, let’s continue....

What about if we are talking about sport shoes brand? Do you think about Nike or Adidas at first?

Yes, probably most of us think about brands that I have mentioned above. Then, the question from this phenomenon will be: how could that happen? What makes those brand become so stand out from all the rest?

I have come to think that it must be because of the marketing strategies used by the company is really great. Yes, that is; we have to admit the marketing strategy aspect. We could see and feel how the product is exposed and advertised very well to consumers. However, there is one vital aspect beyond marketing strategy. That is the uniqueness and strong character of the product. Personally, I think the best marketing strategy will not really work at its best if the product itself do not have something unique and strong as the character of the product at first; the unique and strong character that makes the product stand out from all the rest. Apple or Samsung must have their own strength so that people will remember their brand. The same thing happen with Nike and Adidas; they certainly have plus points that make people choose to buy those brand compared to others. This value of the product is so important for the purpose of branding. As the result of branding, the product become well known and the willingness of people to use or buy the product is higher.

Gladfully, brand is not only for things but also for human. Every one of us could build our own brand to be shown to other people. It is called personal branding. Personal branding is the practice of people marketing themselves and their careers as brands. Personal branding is essentially the ongoing process of establishing a prescribed image or impression in the mind of others about individual. In simple form, it is what or how we want other people to know or think about us.

In pyschology, personal branding is long well-known as self-presentation. Erving Goffman, a self-presentation theorist, explained that individual instinctively attempt to present themselves in public in the way somewhat of their ideal-self to generate positive and attractive peer appraisal. However, this self-presentation action is usually seen as something negative because some people tend to do fake positive-actions. Well, let’s accept that those things might/probably used to happen. But, let ourselves to not become one of the fake people in public eyes.

Each of us has our own strength and uniqeness; we just sometime do not realize and find it well yet. From that believe, every of us has positive characters to be known as our identity. It is good if we could focus on answering the question: “What do we want people to know about our brand?”

To answer that question, all we need to do is to keep the consistency to show strong potential inside ourselves, so that people will associate the consistent actions as our identity/character. At the end, that is our brand! Whenever people hear our name, the first thing that people will remember is the characters that we have exposed to people as our brand. This branding of ourselves will lead people to invite us to do a collaboration in projects, works, or any unthinkable opportunies that can grow ourselves to something we can not imagine.

To sum up, personal branding is important to have by, firstly, finding the strengths and uniqueness within ourselves. Then, we focus on developing and showing them into real actions in public. As a result, people will take your branding into account for any professional business.

[tentangrasa]

Another new challenge: Creating sense of purpose

Years ago, there was a traveller passing by the street near the River Avon in England. He saw a group of masons busy doing something with stones. Curiously, the traveller started to approached one of the workers and aksed: “What is that you are doing, my dear fellow?”. While still keep doing his work, the man grumbled: “I am cutting the stone.” Realising that the man is not interested into the conversation, the traveller approached another worker and asked the same exact question like before. Then the second man answered: “I come along the way from north to cut these stone. But, as soon as I got one poundsterling, I will return home.” Listening to the answer, the traveller thanked him and wished him a good luck for his journey to home. Yet, the traveller was still curious and ended to ask the last worker the original question. Suprisingly, the man spiritfully responded to the traveller: “I am a mason and I am building a cathedral. I have come many miles away to be part of this magnificient team to build this cathedral. I know that this cathedral will be so important in the future. I have heard and believed in a great vision for this place so that the future depends on our hardwork.”

The story above is one of a famous-and-inspiring story that give us a very delightful insight about the importance of having a sense of purpose. The third mason in the story felt that his role is so vital that he is creating something great. The mason has the sense of purpose in building the cathedral. The sense made him feel that he was needed. Not to mention that the sense also gave him a blis and spirit in woking on the project. Sense of purpose is the true happiness in life.

Every human being crave for purpose, but to find or have purpose yourself only is not enough. One should creates a sense of purpose for others in life. People wake up in the morning and do the best for reaching their purpose merely without thinking about others. That is really a sad fact. There are a lot of articles that explained about how purpose improve health, happiness, well-being, and so forth. Living in purpose, in fact, gives us the feeling of being alive, clear, and authentic. I remember once Mark Zuckerberg said in his commencement speech of class of 2017 Harvard University graduation: “Sense of purpose is the sense that we are part of something bigger than ourselves, that we are needed, that we have something better ahead to work for.” Imagine if people give the sense of purpose to others; people spread the feeling that each persons in this living planet is significant for something great. Look how powerful the impact that we can create from it; just like the mason feeling that he is so significant in building a great place for many people.

Now the world is fulfilled by millenials. Millenials find and have purpose instinctively. Yet, creating a sense of purpose for others is another new challenge. But nothing is impossible. As a child of the universe, a simple thing that we could do to raise up the sense of purpose is by working collaboratively in a meaningful projects where everyone in the group has each of their unique responsibility and contribution to the project. Start making a project, creating community, striving for shared-vision to achieved something bigger, beyond our imagination.

Finally, a change in the world seems so clear that you are pretty sure somebody else will do it. But, in fact, they never do it. You will. So, you better not to wait for miracle to come, but you work on the miracle, together with other people to point out the sense of purpose in achieving the dream. There is no any guarantee if one cultivated-dream will directly be reached. The only guarantee about that is if you stop working on the dream, so it will never be coming into reality.

[tentangrasa]

Unmeasurable Happiness

Hasil Ujian Nasional Berbasis Komputer (UNBK) baru saja diumumkan. Riuh kebahagian siswa dan guru berbanding lurus dengan nilai yang dicapai dari hasil UNBK. Itulah salah satu momen paling membahagiakan bagi seorang guru, khususnya guru mata pelajaran UNBK; sebuah hasil dari kerja keras maksimal dari para guru mata pelajaran UNBK yang sangat membanggakan. Setidaknya, guru-guru mata pelajaran non-UNBK masih dapat berbangga hati saat siswa memperoleh nilai yang tinggi pada Ujian Sekolah Berstandar Nasional (USBN) atau Ujian Sekolah (US) atau Ujian Akhir Semester (UAS). Guru mata pelajaran masih dapat bergembira saat siswanya mengikuti sebuah perlombaan dan berhasil pulang membawa piala. Tetapi, guru bimbingan konseling? Dapatkah guru bimbingan konseling juga memiliki momen kebahagiaan dan kebanggaan seperti yang dirasakan oleh guru lainnya?

Saya tidak pernah membayangkan diri saya menjadi seorang guru. Saya tidak suka mengajar. Masih teringat jelas di pikiran saya ketika saya menangis di hari wisuda SMA pada 2012 silam karena saya tidak diizinkan untuk melanjutkan pendidikan S1 di bidang psikologi seperti yang saya inginkan, melainkan di bidang keguruan dan ilmu pendidikan matematika. Sebuah keputusan berat yang harus saya ambil karena orangtua menghendaki saya untuk melanjutkan kuliah pada jurusan ilmu pendidikan agar nantinya dapat menjadi guru yang berstatus PNS. Masih tersimpan pula di memori saya ketika salah seorang guru SMA saya mengatakan bahwa saya sangat cocok untuk menjadi seorang guru, namun saya langsung menolak keras pernyataan tersebut. Menjadi guru benar-benar sebuah hal yang tidak pernah masuk dalam daftar mimpi atau tujuan hidup saya. Bagaimana pun, inilah saya sekarang: seorang guru bimbingan konseling SMA Negeri Sumatera Selatan.

Mungkin semua ini terdengar seperti karma, tetapi saya sadar bahwa saat itu saya hanya belum melihat diri saya secara lebih dekat. Selama tiga tahun lebih saya menempuh pendidikan di bidang psikologi—setelah bernegosiasi dan mengusahakan jalan tengah kepada orangtua saya—, saya akhirnya harus mengakui bahwa saya memiliki ketertarikan yang sangat besar di bidang pendidikan. Dari sekian banyak bidang konsentrasi dan spesialisasi pada jurusan psikologi, saya memilih psikologi pendidikan. Saya merasakan kegembiraan dan kepuasan tersendiri saat berbagi ilmu dengan teman-teman dan adik tingkat dalam program tutorial di kampus. Saya rela untuk datang lebih awal di kelas psikologi pendidikan dan psikologi konseling. Saya selalu tidak sabar menantikan pertemuan saya dengan konseli saya saat praktikum mata kuliah psikologi konseling. Sederetan pengalaman tersebut telah menyadarkan saya bahwa saya memiliki ketertarikan untuk menyelami dunia pendidikan dan membuat saya akhirnya memutuskan untuk menjadi seorang guru bimbingan konseling.

Kembali berbicara mengenai kebahagiaan guru bimbingan konseling. Tidak ada target nilai akademik yang butuh diraih oleh guru bimbingan konseling sehingga harus membuat kelas tambahan di luar jam pelajaran normal. Alih-alih membuat kelas tambahan, guru bimbingan konseling hanya memiliki satu jam pelajaran saja setiap minggunya untuk mengetahui kondisi mingguan siswa, mendengarkan cerita dan keluh-kesah siswa secara klasikal, atau memberikan materi yang dapat mengasah kecerdasan emosional dan persiapan karir siswa di masa depan. Bahkan, tidak sedikit jumlah sekolah yang guru bimbingan konselingnya tidak memiliki jam pelajaran di kelas. Ditambah lagi, tidak ada pula kompetisi yang dapat diikuti atau dimenangkan oleh guru bimbingan konseling bersama siswanya sehingga di suatu hari di awal pekan akan terpanjang senyum kegembiraan pada sebuah “dinding” jejaring internet karena telah menjuarai sebuah kompetisi. Meski semua hal tersebut tidak dapat dialami oleh guru bimbingan konseling, saya sebagai guru bimbingan konseling menyatakan bahwa kebahagian bagi guru bimbingan konseling itu sangat unik, begitu sulit untuk dijelaskan, hanya bisa dirasakan personal, terlalu kasat mata, tidak ternilai, dan tidak dapat ukur.

Saya sangat bersyukur bahwa SMA Negeri Sumatera Selatan memberikan ruang bagi guru bimbingan konseling untuk memiliki pertemuan tatap muka secara klasikal dengan siswa di kelas. Dengan begitu, saya dapat memperbaharui pengetahuan saya mengenai perkembangan dan permasalahan siswa secara terjadwal setidaknya setiap satu minggu sekali. Satu hal yang sangat berkesan bagi saya sebagai guru bimbingan konseling di SMA Negeri Sumatera Selatan yang merupakan sekolah berasrama, yaitu jadwal pertemuan individual saya dengan siswa sangat tidak terprediksi. Terkadang saya harus rela mengesampingkan waktu luang saya di sore atau malam hari untuk mendengarkan keluh-kesah dan curhatan siswa mengenai berbagai hal. Seringkali, saya harus menyediakan waktu luang yang saya miliki untuk mempersiapkan diri dalam menggapai impian yang belum tercapai bagi siswa yang sedang berapi-api menceritakan impian dan semangatnya untuk lebih maju.

Mungkin hal tersebut terkesan sangat biasa saja, namun saya sangat menghargai kepercayaan yang diberikan oleh orang lain untuk menceritakan impian, masalah, dan hal-hal terdalam pada dirinya kepada saya. Saya ingat dan ikut merasakan setiap semangat siswa yang sedang menceritakan targetnya, setiap kekhawatiran dalam mencapai target tersebut, setiap keluh kesah dan kesedihan saat menghadapi hambatan dan kegagalan, dan setiap tangisan kebahagian saat siswa berhasil membuat sebuah langkah perubahan ke arah yang lebih positif bahkan ketika langkah tersebut hanya langkah yang sangat kecil. Semua hal tersebut memberikan kebahagiaan yang tak ternilai bagi diri saya; kebahagiaan yang tidak dapat dilihat ataupun dirasakan oleh orang lain.

Jadi, jika ditanya apakah guru bimbingan konseling memiliki momen kebahagiaan dan kebanggan? Tentu saja; bahkan setiap hari. Bahagia dan bangga mengetahui siswa menerima kondisi dirinya sekarang dan melakukan hal positif setiap harinya untuk membuat dirinya menjadi lebih baik; bahagia dan bangga saat siswa dapat menentukan jalan hidupnya ke depan sesuai dengan kemampuan dan ketertarikannya; bahagia melihat siswa semangat dalam memperjuangkan impiannya bahkan ketika hambatan dan kegagalan datang bertubi-tubi; dan tentu saja bangga saat siswa berhasil mencoret setiap daftar target yang sudah dibuatnya. Sekarang, saya dapat dengan bangga mengatakan bahwa saya menikmati pekerjaan saya menjadi seorang guru bimbingan konseling. Terima kasih, siswaku, atas kepercayaan yang telah diberikan. Terima kasih telah mengusahakan yang terbaik untuk memaksimalkan segala potensi yang terdapat dalam diri kalian. My dear students, you are never the second©

   Fina Herlina,

A very late-night-thought

03/05/2017

01:08

[tentangrasa]

Self-awareness is when you can stand apart from yourself and observe your thoughts and actions. By that, you are honest about yourself then you start to grow better cause you work on something bad about yourself and strengthen those beautiful things inside you.

lyfe

[tentangrasa]

The best gift that we can give to other people is purpose; purpose that stimulate other people to make the best of their potential and move forward.

lyfe