Building Yourself Up When Job Hunting Gets You Down
Writing and Artwork by UC Davis Alumna Lily Troup
(content warning: depression)
“Postgraduate Depression” should be a senior seminar course, because job hunting after college made me feel like I was already having a midlife crisis.
To be clear, I didn’t take my time at university for granted: I worked part time, studied hard to maintain my GPA, and even interned in the capital through the UC Davis Washington Program. I knew from the start that a career would not wait patiently for my graduation; I had understood the “impracticality” and uncertainty of my studio art degree when I declared my major.
Although I accepted this “fate,” I often wondered if I had made the right decision (a feeling I imagine all students have felt at one point or another). Every post-interview rejection, every automated “we cannot offer you a position” email, and every unanswered job application felt like a hit to my mental stamina. The truth is, job hunting is full-time work—but because I no longer had a daily routine like I did throughout university, I needed to create my own structure. This realization helped me refocus, and although the journey hasn’t been easy, I know that I'm moving forward once more.
Fighting Self-Sabotage
When the Job Search Train first left the platform, I had no routine, no income, and I felt like I had lost my purpose. I was constantly disappointed in myself for feeling as though I had let my family and friends down. For every rejection, I believed that I was unworthy of becoming a productive member of society. Furthermore, I grew angry with myself because I felt that I had no right to complain. I recognized my depression made me feel more selfish, and I didn’t want to be that way. My mind went to some dark places.
Better Days
Thankfully, I also have days where I don’t want to melt into bed and stare at the ceiling. I realized I needed to utilize every good day and be as productive as possible. I reached out to old professors, friends, even friends’ parents to ask them if they knew of any job or volunteer opportunities. One of my weaknesses is wanting to take on everything by myself. However, I have learned that people genuinely want to help.
That help can come from surprising places: after pushing myself to keep going, I found a volunteer opportunity through a friend, and I received encouraging advice from a woman I work for who, was also an art major in college. I continued to do my own research and also landed opportunities to share my artwork.
Then, right as I wrote this article, I landed a job at a great independent coffee shop. While coffee is not directly in the art field, I realized it relates to my major because I love to work on my art at cafes while sipping on a nice iced mocha. Coffee shops provide me an environment that fuels my creativity, and I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to join the world of coffee.
During this process, I had to remember what made me happy: these opportunities, outside of pure job searching, brought a routine back into my life and reminded me that my degree had been working toward something.
Pushing Through
This post is not intended to be a guide on postgraduate careers, but a moment of self-reflection: during my job search I sunk to the bottom, but with the support of friends and family, I picked myself up and kept moving.
Know that if you have ever experienced any of the feelings or situations mentioned, I sympathize. Contrary to what others may say, it’s not wrong to feel like the world is against you or that you’ve given your all to get nothing back; however, it’s also up to the individual to figure out how to combat these feelings and fight for the future they deserve. Remember that our inner demons are not the thoughts of those who care about us the most, and that potential employers don’t know us beyond a resume, a cover letter, or a 30-minute be-all and end-all interview.
So hold onto your hope and keep filling out those applications—because the the more job eggs you have in your basket, the better chance one of them will hatch.
Lily Troup graduated UC Davis in 2017 with a B.A. in Studio Art. While at Davis, she found her love for traditional printmaking and earned an internship for The Washington Printmakers Gallery in Washington, DC. She emphasizes in traditional black and white illustrations of original character art. To learn more about Lily, follow her on Instagram @squidinamasonjar or visit lilytroup.com
“If you or a friend are in a similar chapter of your life, know that you’re not alone,” says Lily.
CAREER RESOURCES:
View California-based career resources at https://icc.ucdavis.edu/research/what-can-i-do.htm. If you are a UC Davis student or graduate, you can also find free career advising and workshops at the UCD Internship and Career Center on campus (https://icc.ucdavis.edu/index.htm).
See what other graduates are doing (and find potential networking opportunities) with UC Davis’ What Can I Do With My Major blog (https://www.ucdavis.edu/majors/blog )
MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES:
For a comprehensive list of California resources, visit http://www.dhcs.ca.gov/services/MH/Pages/default.asp.
For national resources, vist https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help/index.html
