I don't know about you guys, but I need to see Jeremy recover from Squip. Especially considering the fact that Squip is so clearly a symbol of grooming- I desperately need to see the aftermath of that. I need to see Jeremy reciting those insecurity mantras to himself, I need to see him flinching when he gets things wrong, I need to see him develop trust issues, I need to see him push people away when they try and help. Because in his head the only person who could truly help him was Squip.
God forbid I need to see Jeremy as the victim he is. I never see us talk about it ever, and I'm just?? ?????? Jeremy would miss him the way a victim would miss an abuser. Jeremy doesn't miss being called terrible, but he misses having all the answers at his fingertips. He misses being rewarded when he acted correctly and did as he was told. And maybe, yeah, he does miss being called terrible. Because to be called terrible means Squip was there to say that. It means that, when he's called terrible, he can also have the answers at his fingertips. are you hearing what I'm saying???
I just need Jeremy to go through that. I need Jeremy to get frustrated when he doesn't have Squip anymore, and I need someone to grab him by his shoulders and say, you don't need that! You don't need Squip! You aren't terrible, and you can do a good job without him in your life! You can improve and function without him! You don't need your losses to be his successes! You are allowed to live in a world that isn't dictated by him!
Because every day I wish someone had said that to me. I wish someone would have grabbed me and told me that there was a world without them in it, and that was okay. I didn't need them peering over my shoulder, telling me the answer to every problem they made me solve. I could live a life without a zap down my back or a demand in my ear. I was allowed that freedom, and every day of my life I wish someone had told me so.
...Anyway. I just. I need someone to tell Jeremy that. Thanks for coming to my ted talk
