#sr19

[ingek73]

vanmorgen helaas gemist in #nijmegen maar vanmiddag na Star Wars nog ff gezellig bij het @npo3fm #chequepoint van #sr19 op de #korenmarkt geweest! #itsabouttogodown #sidneysamson #seriousrequest #lifeline @robvanderadio https://www.instagram.com/p/B6Vk2VqHKyH/?igshid=1d08vffg75hs7

[jjdecker]

I can hold 3 drumsticks. How many can you hold? #Shiprocked #SR19 #DaveySuicide https://www.instagram.com/p/BtoCdyDH1MH/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=80ryz5uo9wft

[jjdecker]

When it's about to go down. Moment captured by #HannaCameron #Shiprocked #DaveySuicide #SR19 https://www.instagram.com/p/Bta_c0FHFof/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1l8pkzn1bna6b

[darachbeo]

I hate to put the onus on you but this post is at 50k so it's going to follow you. A tag for it would make it easy to find your responses and not have you answering this over and over. Like the legality point, in many states just a few years ago homosexuality behavior was illegal. Surely you don't agree with that, so your blanket statement is hard to interpret what you disapprove of.

Just added the tag #sr19 to each post, didn’t take very long. But yeah, in one of the post I mentioned the exact example you use of gay sex being illegal in many places still, as well as premarital sex as a whole, and some places have legalized some forms of rape and bestiality which are clearly not gonna be okay. So I absolutely agree that legality isn’t a basis for how healthy or responsible sex acts are, though there are some that are illegal because of the exact reasons of how irresponsible and unhealthy they are, at least where I live in the US. I now see in hindsight that wording was a bit poor and left too vague, so I apologize for that.

[darachbeo]

Respectful anon here again. I didn't mean the public spaces part, that clearly violates the consent of those exposed to it, so is definably wrong. It's your other three points that can be open to wide interpretation. Like that's so vague you could say all masochistic behavior is toxic and should be rallied against. Which would make you the problem. I tried your anon tag but there's only a few posts about it. Could you make a tag for that posts responses? So we can see your thoughts on it easy

The tag is now #sr19. And I actually did bring up enjoying pain as being a kink that can be healthily engaged in with the proper boundaries and protocols in place and I was more referring to things that have permanent effects on your or your partners health.

[darachbeo]

I bet you are drowning in asks about that sex responsibility post, but unfortunately here's another one. In general you make good points but the vagueness of your remarks puts you on a moral high ground that can drastically shift as you get more specific. It's unfair and overwhelming to ask you to name everything you are against, but we need to know that so it's clear if you actually support people or are trying to enforce your personal beliefs at the expense of other's agency.

Well, that why I specified some in later posts, but really only for what i meant by inherently unhealthy (ex bug chasing or other things than can kill you). 

When I say “appropriate spaces” i mean in your own private spaces or at places or events where what you’re engaging in are expected and/or welcomed like leather bars, sex clubs, or events like folsom or dore alley. And I don’t mean wear things for aesthetic in public, I mean doing any thing degrading or dehumanizing to your partner (be it verbal humiliation, having them on  a leash, tying them up, etc) that want traumatize anyone or get the cops called on you (and also, if your an exhibitionist like I am, general public spaces aren’t for that, do it in an appropriate space).

And I should also probably clarify upon something else I said because it seems like a lot of people don’t understand the difference between a thought and a fantasy. Fantasies are specific and focused and don’t just randomly occur, they have to be developed. Thoughts, however cannot be controlled and ones that would lead to dangerous fantasy are often intrusive. SO I’m not saying “even your thoughts are bad and dangerous” I’m saying if you have sexual thoughts about acts that would be unhealthy or harmful to yourself or others, you shouldn’t focus on them and let them become fantasy. The best course of action there is to seek the help of a therapist so you can better cope with this.

Anything else that might need clarification that I can think of has already been done, so if you’re really curious its there, just scroll through my blog a bit and you’ll find it. If not, just ask me like this anon has in a respectful and responsible way.

[darachbeo]

hey, i just want you to know that your sex responsibility post is a Good Post, and although some assholes are complaining about it, you're 100% right on all counts. thank you for saying what needed to be said.

Thanks. The issue seems to be that people aren’t actually taking what I said at face value and assuming I’m saying every kink is bad or something lol. That and they seem to think I’m saying sex positivity is a bad thing, when I’m really not, I’m just saying we also need to put an emphasis on exercising critical thought and responsibility when spreading sex positivity.

[darachbeo]

Hi I saw your post about sex responsibility (loved it) and wanted to ask about the “hyper-sexual (non-clinical meaning) as a form of self harm” part because it might be something I can relate to and want to clarify to make sure I’m understanding what you meant

Basically using sex as your only means of self worth. It’s harmful and destructive on a mental level and a physical level as well, especially if it’s often unprotected sex with people you barely or flat out don’t know. A person can constantly put them selves at risk by doing this and it happens all to often when the extent of the sex positivity we see basically just says, “fuck it, go have sex” without any critical thought or concern for well-being.