#srgnt

[regalest]

the sheer intimacy of sharing a yogurt

the mortifying ordeal of being known

[phonetrampa]

@srgnt​ said:   i feel like i’m being analysed.

dark hues examine    a fresh manicure through thick lashes  ;  not disinterested, simply not bothered.  orla doesn’t believe in skirting around the truth.  not to clients  —  and certainly not to family.    “  don’t  act  so  surprised,  baby  blue,  ”    fingertips fall to drift alongside the quilted stitchings of the beanbag where they sit, melted in place, trailing further downward to the old rotary phone stationed next to them on the floor.  something tells them it will be ringing soon.    “  the  cards  said  it,”    eyes snap up, mona lisa smile curling ever so slightly at painted lips,    “  not  me.  ”

[carelessgraces]

@srgnt​ said:   the hierophant / justice / the tower / the world   ( major arcana  | accepting )

05.  the hierophant  :  what are your muse’s morals / ethics ? do they follow their moral code strictly ?

     astoria’s moral code, if it can really be considered a ‘code’ rather than a vague collection of convenient limitations, is extremely flexible. there are a few hard limits for her: she cannot tolerate the intentional harm of children; she cannot tolerate a ruler’s neglect; she cannot tolerate the meaningless harm of the people she loves. pretty much anything else, she can deal with — there’s plenty she won’t endorse, but she’ll benefit from a lot without trying to shut it down if she can spin a way that it’s for a ‘greater good.’ she doesn’t turn to something greater to define her moral code — her belief in the maker and respect for the chantry can only take her so far, and she is a firm believer in creating society to fit her needs, rather than just working with what already exists. 

     part of this comes from astoria’s very genuine belief that she’s above it. it’s not a knowing display of pride, though it’s definitely due to her pride: astoria knows that she’s in a position of power, and as such, she needs to be willing to bend and break her own rules whenever necessary, so long as she gives the appearance of not doing so. as per machiavelli’s the prince, which doesn’t exist in this universe but is a huge influence for astoria’s characterization:  

Since, then, a prince must know how to make use of the nature of the beast, he should choose from among the beasts the fox and the lion; for the lion cannot defend itself from traps, while the fox cannot protect itself from the wolves. It is therefore necessary to be a fox, in order to recognize the traps, and a lion, in order to frighten the wolves: those who base their behaviour only on the lion do not understand things. A wise ruler, therefore, cannot and should not keep his word when such an observance would be to his disadvantage, and when the reasons that caused him to make a promise are removed...

Therefore, it is not necessary for a prince to possess all of the above-mentioned qualities, but it is very necessary for him to appear to possess them. Furthermore, I shall dare to assert this: that having them and always observing them is harmful, but appearing to observe them is useful: for instance, to appear merciful, faithful, humane, trustworthy, religious, and to be so; but with his mind disposed in such a way that, should it become necessary not to be so, he will be able and know how to change to the opposite. One must understand this: a prince, and especially a new prince, cannot observe all those things for which men are considered good, because in order to maintain the state he must often act against his faith, against charity, against humanity, and against religion. And so it is necessary that he should have a mind ready to turn itself according to the way the winds of Fortune and the changing circumstances command him. And, as I said above, he should not depart from the good if it is possible to do so, but he should know how to enter into evil when forced by necessity.

Men in general judge more by their eyes than their hands: everyone can see, but few can feel. Everyone sees what you seem to be, few touch upon what you are, and those few do not dare to contradict the opinion of the many who have the majesty of the state to defend them...  Therefore, let a prince conquer and maintain the state, and his methods will always be judged honourable and praised by all. For ordinary people are always taken in by appearances and by the outcome of an event. And in the world there are only ordinary people; and the few have no place, while the many have a spot on which to lean.

- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince, translated and edited by Peter Bondanella (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2005), 60-2.

11.  justice  :  does your muse find it easy to be impartial in emotional situations ?

     sometimes !! astoria is very good at removing herself from a situation to get a better understanding of it; she’s practical, and pragmatic, even though she’s also deeply dramatic. with a handful of exceptions, such as a violation of her very limited code, astoria is able to create and maintain emotional distance, so as to ensure that her decisions, whatever they are, are made with a specific goal in mind. as merchant princess, that’s typically the betterment of seleny, but when she’s making a choice simply as astoria, it’s for her own benefit / the benefit of the people she loves. 

     when she can’t be unemotional, however, she becomes vicious and intense in her feelings. if she should be angry, she’s furious; if she should be sad, she’s devastated; if she should be happy, she’s euphoric. if there comes a point when astoria’s emotional control lapses in an intense situation, she’s going to go from zero to a hundred in no time at all. 

16.  the tower  :  what event drastically changed your muse’s life ? do they resent that event or are they glad of it ?

     for astoria, in any verse, it’s always the carrows, and it’s always less of an event than a series of events: here, the carrows arrive in seleny after the death of astoria’s grandmother, escorting her ashes back home after she dies and is cremated in tevinter. they stay with the grimani family — they were close to veronica, her mother, and are astoria’s godparents — and ask to be a part of her life and her education. through blood magic, they put her under a thrall, and begin using her to try and unseat her grandfather as part of an attempt by a rival city to annex seleny. 

     so, basically, astoria’s being used to kill her own grandfather. this is the period when she’s abused, physically and psychologically, and it’s also the period at which she realizes that nobody else is going to save her, and she has to do it herself. this isn’t an easy feat, mostly because alecto and amycus are both significantly stronger than she is; she knows, then, that she’ll have to manipulate other people into doing what she can’t. she sets a trap, she puts her own life in significant danger, and she waits for someone to show up and help her. the help comes in the form of her personal guard, lorenzo; his aid is the only thing that prevents her murder. 

     it comes down to a few lessons learned, for astoria: first, she cannot rely on anyone, except lorenzo, to protect her. she has to protect herself. she has to be the smartest person in any room; she has to know all the ways out of a crisis; she has to be ruthless; and if she’s going down, she has to take other people down with her. it’s not an easy thing to learn at any age, but especially not at fifteen. second, she is not safe anywhere, even at home. safety is not guaranteed; it’s bought, usually with her own bloodshed. she leaves seleny for six years, refusing to return home even for holidays, and she goes instead to orlais, where she studies at the university at val royeaux. there, where everyone is perpetually playing the game and constantly at war with everyone else, she feels safest: not because orlais is remotely safe, but because she’s always alert. and third, she is not ready to rule seleny. her inability to prevent the carrows from controlling her could have destroyed her city; if she can’t protect her city, she has no value to it. she spends the time she’s in orlais training as a bard, certainly, and begging lorenzo to supplement her training, but more than that she learns how to read people, how to understand them. she’s small, and her greatest advantage in a fight is her size, but put her against a warrior or a mage and, unless she has the element of surprise, she’s done for. she’s perfectly adequate in combat, but that’s not a guarantee of anything. she has to fight her battles in more subtle ways, to ensure that she is never put in that position again. astoria’s battlefield is a throne room, a war table, a diplomatic engagement, and she must always excel, and she must always win.

     she doesn’t regret it, even though she hates that it happened. she tells herself that these lessons were necessary, and that without them she would be too weak to have any right to rule; it’s not a healthy outlook, and i don’t think it’s one she ever changes. she’s not grateful for the suffering, but she is proud of the strength she develops in its aftermath, and of herself. 

21.  the world  :  is there one thing in life that your muse must accomplish ? what will they do when they complete that goal ?

     found here !!

[phonetrampa]

@srgnt​ <3′d

“  i  miss  when  you  were  a  baby,  ”    a wistful sigh, dramatic as ever,   “  every  day  i  would  dress  you  up  like  one  of  my  dolls.  now you wear  . . .  that.  ”

[blaeptein]

                   ‹       your  dream - yogurt  is  disgusting ,  bro .         ›     he  had  thought  that  entering  the  maggot’s  dreams  just  to  steal  her  yogurts  would  be  fun     - - -     he  was  bored ,   had  nothing  else  to  do ,  which  is  when  he  usually  had  his  more  creative  ideas .     but  not  only  did  it  feel  gross ,  it  also  didn’t  even  smell  like  yogurt .   ‹       's  that  normal  ?         ›

*       with.     @srgnt​​     !

[greiywaren]

@srgnt​.

     ❛   𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒, 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐎𝐓.  gansey or parrish too busy for you?   ❜

[regalest]

only rich people waste sandwich crusts

blue sargent said eat the rich

[phonetrampa]

@srgnt said:   can you just make this easy for me?

even if they could,    orla wouldn’t.  that’s just the nature of older cousins.  curious gaze looks past the deck of lovers to one who still has so much to learn.    “  nothing  about  love  is  ever  easy,  blue.  ”    not even for someone so carefree as orla  —  who breaks up  &  makes up in the same conversation, who dates many all at once and never bats an eye.  love is tricky and it cannot be forced.  it can’t be foretold, either.  at least, not in the way blue wants.    “  the  cards  can  only  give  you  an  idea  of  what  might  happen.  but  this  is  your  choice  to  make.  no  bailouts  from  me.  ”