#sry mobile

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

Vicky did u ever feel like nothing in ur life would work out? Bc I mean u have a really cool spouse and seem to be happy like did u ever feel like u would b alone forever? That's how I feel & I'm just scared it'll come true for me. Sorry if this doesn't make sense

i’m not sure if i made any coherent sense but i put some thoughts under the cut. very sorry mobile users.

the day after i turned seventeen i had a 12 hour long panic attack because i genuinely didnt think i’d make it that far. as far back as i can remember i never really thought i would be a ‘grown up’ because i was convinced i would die before then and hadnt had a single plan of action for my then-hypothetical adult life. i very truly had no idea i would ever become an adult.

i had a really badly planned suicide attempt at 14, and another in college when i was 19, and a few years ago when i was 22 there was an urge i thankfully took care of before it got bad and i was in psych hold for a few days for it.

we got married in 2015, when i was 21 and he was 20. through my entire teenage life i was convinced that whatever breakup i was going through at the moment was it, thats the one that breaks me, i cannot go on, i will be alone for life. i actually only discovered like last year that there was one pretty bad one when i was 16 that i just completely repressed. my mother had to be the one to remind me about how horrible it was and how i was sobbing like someone had died every night for weeks.

most of my time in college, where i met my husband, was spent wondering if it was even worth it being alive and if anyone would ever be able to stand me long enough to get to the next holiday, not even considering marriage. we broke up like three times and had to do a lot of personal improvement to become the kind of people who should even be allowed to date anyone, and only by luck were we still each the kind of person the other liked and enjoyed.

i turn 26 in a few months and i only just figured out like a month ago what i wanted to do with my life, something i’m actually kind of excited about working towards. i lived 25 and a half years without any kind of direction or purpose or real goal and just drifted along hoping shit would work out because i never really expect it to.

but it has.

shit’s been weird. it’s always been fucky and it always will be.

but it’s never gonna be as fucky as it used to be, and i think thats why i might come off as seeming like i have my shit together (i super dont) i’m just… really relieved, and comfortable, i guess. i have faith that as long as we’re alive, it’s never gonna be that bad again.

[dandoris]

lmfao so... something rly creepy happened on the train today and ill just rant about it here bc im kind of ?????

so i got on (im wearing a uni sweatshirt, which will become important) and i sat beside some random person who i barely glanced at, and im on my phone with my headphones in, and this transit operator gets on the train and starts chatting to this person

im not rly paying attention to their conversation, but i dont have any music playing so i can hear everything theyre saying. and so this operator says to this guy “oh, is this your girlfriend?” and he was like “no its not” and the other guys like “no, i think it is, its your girlfriend, right?” and i havent even looked at either of them at this point but im getting rly weirded out 

so apparently i look like some girl that this guy was making out with some other day, but they broke up, and the operator is like “oh, well maybe you should ask her out, just tell her you love her and she’ll be all yours, thats what i would do” and the guy beside me is kind of laughing it off, and the other guy was like “its okay, she has her headphones in, she cant hear us”

and the operator knows that this guy is gonna get off the train soon, bc he’s like “maybe you should just stay on the train until downtown, so you can be beside her and ask her out” and then he said “just stay on the train until university, just go with her there, im sure she would go for you, thats what i would do” 

but they both got off the train at the next stop and i was like ??? wtf????? thats so creepy you dont just talk about someone like that and encourage someone to stalk them man thats so weird?? jfc  

[the-ultimate-nobody]

Random note:

I updated my ‘????’ page (or /me) for those who wanted to know more about this Nobody!!

[dandoris]

tagged by @weebextraordinaire ty friend!!!!<3

5 things you’ll find in my bag

a little gudetama spoon charm

literally 5 different chapsticks lmfao

3 compacts (for different things)

usually gum

my ancient wallet that still has korean won inside

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

a tiny shopping cart from iceland

a foam hand from the crowchild classic 

a kageyama figurine

an extremely worn out jellyfish plushie from the vancouver aquarium 

postcards up on my whiteboard!

5 things I’m currently into

bnha

hq

wwii documentaries 

drinking more water

sleeping

5 things on my to-do list

finish my book for english

do the other 9000 things i have for homework

gotta scan my passport when i get home for some exchange thing

find out if i need to go to vancouver to get a korean student visa??

start getting fit lmao

5 things people may not know about me

im a third year business major!

ive traveled a lot through europe and asia, and since ive lived in korea for like 6 months im going there for exchange next semester!

i used to be in choir for a few years (i was a soprano)

i can read the cyrillic and hangul alphabet

im a rly unhealthy eater lmao

i tag: @yachii @shaytron @peachy-tooru @izuqu @reeigen @malkii @kaacchaan @shitmada-genji @shunki @aoba-seijoh no pressure!!!

[meryllfrey]

I've seen ur Greatjon posts Meryll. I'm on to ur grandpa infatuation. hahahah.

“Pffffft. He’s not even on the top 10 silver foxes of westeros list.”

[stinkbrat]

afraid and happy

[kinikxluna]

music hole liveblog

this post will be constantly edited as the episode goes!!!! the ep is done~ under the cut

HERE WE GO

THANK GOD FOR THE SNEAK PEAK COS I WOKE UP JUST NOW

PLAN C BATTLE OF THE BANDS

I LOV FP

ALSO NEW MARCY SONG TO FUCKING COVER

ice king lov u too

WHAT IS FINN HEARING

BUBBLIN E IS REAL lmao kiddin

GOD TOO MUCH IS HAPPENING BMO AND ICE KIG?? ALSO LICHHHH

BUBBLINE IS FUCKING REAL

OH MY GOD

AAAAAAAA

GUYS JUST ADD ME ON SNAPCHAT FOR LIVEBLOG domortega!!!!

FINN FLIRTING WITH A HOLE

OH MY GOD

ANOTHER SONG TO COVER

THE SHOW ENDED WITH FINN SINGING

ALSO CORNDOG IS CUTE

ADVENTURE TIME IS MY LIFE

[utc-7]

i am an actual awful human being. i have five things to do for school and have started none of them. i need constant reassurance that i'm worthwhile and when it comes and then leaves i feel even worse than i did to begin with. it's no wonder i'm only on the periphery of peoples' lives because there's nothing of value for me to bring to anyone. i still think someone else is going to fix things for me when i only have myself to blame for feeling the way i do. i don't want to be here i don't want to do any of this i want to leave. i write this down here instead of on paper because i'm that misguided. it's no wonder that this is where i am in life - i'm weak and hopeless and bring nothing of value to anyone's life.