Spring FRE: Beyond These Stars: Chapter Seven: Fili and Kili
4. Trip down Memory Lane
This chapter takes place just before Chapter Six:Ori, when they crash landed after stealing a mattress.
It was the Hobbit’s fault.
If the beds at his home hadn’t been as insanely comfortable, Fili and Kili might have lived their entire lives satisfied with the standard-issue cots everyone had in their quarters, theirs personally shoved side by side in an arrangement that had, more than once, caused injury during sexual activities (they tried to bolt them together but it just didn’t work, and falling between two metal bedframes is not fun).
But then came that night in Bilbo’s guestroom.
A mattress, one mattress, made for two people.
No concave bits, no fear of collapse.
Just a wide, soft-firm expanse of perfection that stayed in one place even as they giggled and rolled and managed to get each other off without waking anyone up (as far as they knew).
They needed one of those mattresses! In the interest of personal safety!
It would be even more amazing aboard ship, in their soundproofed room, where they could make all the noise they wanted!
“We’ll never talk Thorin into going back to Shire,” Kili whispered. They were curled together in the main communication room, surrounded by Ori’s knickknacks. Their friend was currently off in the mess with their uncle – a date Fili and Kili chose not to think about.
Dwalin and Ori as a new couple was the weirdest thing in the universe – and they were Khazad who were born on ships and ran illegal goods for a living in hopes of one day reclaiming their world from a race of sentient lizards.
Still not as weird as their best friend and their uncle making eyes at each other across the communal mess.
“We don’t have to. We have a supply drop on Bree, and they sell Hobbit-style mattresses,” Fili grinned up ant his brother, causing Kili’s heart to do a delighted little pitter-pat. He loved a playful Fili, ready to cause some trouble. “No reason we can’t acquire one, even if it’s Atani-sized.”
Kili kissed him, because he could. “Three mattresses.”
“Three?” Fili wrapped his arms around Kili’s waist and nuzzled one round ear. Ori would knock their heads together for cuddling in his domain, but they just couldn’t resist.
“One big for us, and two little ones for Bilbo and Ori.”
Fili hummed against Kili’s ear, making his brother wiggle and laugh. “Ori is obviously a bribe, but Bilbo?”
Kili was quiet a moment, sharing breath and warmth. “He’s left everything behind to help us. The least he deserves is a good night’s sleep.”
Fili smiled.
His Kili was so much kinder than some people realized.
---
They decided in the end to buy the two smaller beds and …secretly permanently borrow the large bed.
The price on a “queen” sized bed was just ridiculous. And after extensive testing in the form of rolling happily across the test beds at the shop (rolling all over and every inch soft, like absolute magic and big enough for three Atani to sleep comfortably!) they had decided they definitely needed the queen.
They would have gone for the king, but it actually had more square meters than their entire floor space. They’d have centimetres free all around the queen.
“Thank goodness for vertical space,” Fili said, and Kili nodded agreement.
Bargaining for the two small beds fell on Fili, who could charm even Atani down to a skinflint price. Finding a way to sneak out a queen was Kili’s.
“Whoever put in their security scanners is completely incompetent,” he reported cheerfully as Fili improvised a system of straps connected to his beloved bike.
They probably should have thought through the whole transportation thing a bit more. Ah, well. They knew how to think on the fly.
“Easy mission?” Fili asked.
“Ridiculously,” Kili confirmed. Fili straightened and tugged him in for an enthusiastic kiss, leather on leather and so hot Kili moaned low in the back of his throat. Fili smiled, slow and warm and obviously fully aware of what he was doing.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Kili protested. “We won’t get anything done.”
Fili made a soft humming noise that made Kili think thoughts that weren’t conducive to pulling off a caper (Kili had been reading too many classic detective novels of late). “Well, if you’re sure it won’t take too long, I suppose I can wait. Especially if it means not doing anything too athletic on concrete.”
Kili winced.
That had hurt.
And he wasn’t sure he’d ever managed to regrow all the hair on his right pectoral, no matter what Fili said.
“Three minutes in and out and we’ll be halfway to breaking the new bed in,” Kili promised, and he met that slow smile of his brothers with a grin of his own, all sex and sunshine.
---
They crash-landed, but that was no big deal. It certainly wasn’t the first time. They knew how to relax on impact and make sure they were safe. Even the altercation with Thorin was relatively injury free. Maybe a bruise or two.
Certainly not enough to keep them from testing out the mattress for…several…hours.
Beyond These Stars is now posting on Ao3! I will provide a link here for each new chapter, which will post on Sundays.
When morning came, it was Bofur who volunteered to stay behind and wait for their newest crewmember to awaken. The Khazad were up and about early by Shire time, kept as they were on the time that they’d once followed on Erebor and refusing to change over to the intership time set by the Belegost. Bofur didn’t mind a bit more time to putter around, finishing up the last bit of cleaning and contemplating how he was going to introduce a Hobbit who had never left his continent to the wildness of space.
Bilbo’s first question didn’t set his mind at ease.
“Will I need a good coat, then?”
“Ah, aye,” Bofur said, a bit flustered by the combination of nut brown curls and bare cheeks, “space is a mite cold.”
He’d be lucky if Bilbo didn’t pass out on the flight up.
Bofur’s first proper introduction was to Nori’s Jackrabbit, waiting to take them up. “The Retribution can land in a pinch,” Bofur explained as he helped Bilbo step aboard, the Hobbit’s eyes wide but his twitching nose wary, “but the Gingerhopper’s a lot more maneuverable.”
A growl came from the front seat, familiar and annoyed. Bofur grinned as Nori turned and glared at him. “My ship,” he said with the sort of deep irritation that only comes from decades of friendship, “is called the Jackrabbit, and welcome aboard Mr. Baggins. Make sure you strap in.”
Bilbo turned white when they lifted off the ground, but not green, and he tightened his jaw like a pro as they burst through the clouds and into the flame of the atmosphere.
Bofur’d had his suspicions Bilbo Baggins was tougher than he looked.
“Getting to know the Retribution,” Bofur said as he took the Hobbit’s cold hands in his own – trembling a little, but steady on his feet – and helped him out onto the ship’s small bay, “is really about getting to know her crew.”
Dis was only a girl when her brother jerked her into his arms and ran with her from their family home.
She didn’t understand everything – nine years old and clinging to Thorin in fear – but her people were screaming and her grandfather was missing and Thorin shoved her in Frerin’s arms and yelled, “Get her to the mountain!”
Frerin wasn’t big enough to carry her, and she cried and reached for Thorin and cried for her mama, but her biggest brother wouldn’t take her.
“Where are you going?” Frerin demanded, his voice cracking, and usually that made Dis laugh but now it made her scared.
Frerin was afraid.
He was never afraid.
“I have to find Grandfather,” Thorin told them, and he was young too, barely a hint of a beard and his hair a tangle, but he seemed so much older. “Go to the Mountain and stay there. Don’t leave for any reason. And don’t let go of Dis.” He grabbed their brother’s shoulders, looking Frerin straight in the eye. “Promise me, Frerin.”
Frerin’s chin shook, but he met Thorin’s gaze and swallowed and said, “I promise.”
He kept his promise. He pulled her to the port, and onto a transport, surrounded by people as more screamed to get in, and held her in his lap as they broke free of Erebor’s atmosphere and connected with the Lonely Mountain in orbit.
She’d been on the Mountain before, of course. It was shiny and new and exciting, a ship as big as the main Iron Mountain, designed for asteroid mining or long travel or helping their fellow dwarves, whatever it was needed for. She’d learned about it from her tutor and stood on the Bridge and looked down at Erebor and seen how beautiful her planet was. She’d seen the twin moons of Dale, covered in bright lights.
She’d decided then and there that she was going to work on a ship one day. She might as well, since she could never be king. She was fourth in line, and four was a lot.
It wasn’t fun this time.
And all she wanted to do was go home.
There were hundreds aboard the ship, a thousand, more, until Dis couldn’t count anymore and Fundin found them and whisked them away to where his two sons and other noble children were tucked in and office. “Stay here,” he said, and left Balin, who was even older than Thorin, in charge.
That was all she knew for a long time.
She never saw the great red ship in orbit between the Dales, didn’t know that the panic of her people came from the knowledge that it was a ship of the Smaug.
She didn’t know the Smaug conquered planets, wiped them clean of life, and mined them until it was only a shell floating in space.
She knew only that she was afraid, and something was wrong.
And that she never saw her father again.
---
Soup was procured for Thorin when he returned with the Hobbit, and introductions were made, and Thorin would have talked without giving Mr. Baggins a seat at his own table if Dis hadn’t been there to set him straight.
Dis sometimes tried to imagine Thorin’s life without a sister to keep an eye on him, but it was too terrible a thought to contemplate. As much as she hated being away from her husband, there was no doubt that this hobbit would have been well within his rights to kick them out in the cold, and Thorin wouldn’t have been able to come up with enough charm to stop him.
“Please, Mr. Baggins, do sit down,” she said, and Mr. Baggins eyed her with an odd mixture or weariness and approval as he did so.
“We came here expecting you to be fully apprised of our situation,” she said, a bit loudly as she was pointedly speaking over her brother. “Out intermediary said that you’d already agreed to work with us.”
“Intermediary?” Baggins looked around the table. “Do you mean Gandalf?”
“Yes indeed.” Dis patted Thorin’s hand. There was murder in his eyes, so it was probably a good thing Gandalf hadn’t shown his pointy nose here. “We asked him to contract a specialist in shields and programming to assist us in retaking our home world from the Smaug.”
Baggins’ jaw dropped.
“The Smaug,” he squeaked.
“Aye,” Bofur offered from down the table, and Dis loved him to bits but if he teased the hobbit she would- “The chiefest and greatest calamity of our age, hovering above Erebor, royally pissed off because they can’t get down to the surface. And we’d like you to go and have a crack at ‘em.”
Dis leaned across the table and tried to whap him a good one, but she couldn’t reach.
So Nori did it for her, definitely employing the appropriate amount of violence.
“Not helping,” she hissed, as Bofur turned his best puppy dog eyes on them both. It didn’t work. The three of them had known each other too long.
----
Normally, they would never have met.
On Erebor, royal children were kept well separate from commoners, but Dis, Nori, and Bofur didn’t grow up on Erebor.
They grew up on the Ered Luin.
Separating children by class wasn’t so important when they were scrambling to learn to live as their fellow dwarves had for generations. Instead, it was more about keeping the children corralled and busy. Bored dwarflings were no good for anyone, especially anyone living inside a breakable ship.
So as the adults in her life dealt with treaties and meetings and long conferences with the kings and lords of other mountains, little Dis was placed, along with all the other surviving small children, under the watchful eye of teachers and older children. Thorin was considered old enough to attend meetings, but Frerin was among the “older children” category. For the first few weeks, her brother wouldn’t let Dis out of his sight, but eventually familiarity creeped in, and he started to leave her be.
Thank goodness.
A girl couldn’t make friends with her princely brother running interference and glowering at everyone.
And Frerin was the nice one. Thank goodness Thorin was old enough to stay busy.
Even without a princeling looking over her shoulder, fitting in with other children was no easy task. Each child had been told who Dis was, and that they had to be respectful. Among dwarflings who had already been through so much, “respectful” quickly morphed into something like fear. No child wanted to get into trouble with all the adults in their lives so nervous and tense.
So Dis found herself quite alone.
At least until the day a boy near her age, dressed in sturdy brown leather and wool, tossed his braids over his shoulders and marched over to her during the dwarflings’ lunch hour. There was a gasp of surprise from his fellows – all the children of miners, once the most common of dwarves and now rare.
Most of the miners had been too deep to get out in time.
The boy’s hair was messier than Dis’s family would ever allow, and his boots were so scuffed they must have belonged to plenty of cousins before him, but he looked her straight in the eye and said:
“Is that a cheese sandwich?”
Dis looked up at him, and then down at the sandwich Thorin had made for her that morning. There wasn’t very much fresh food left aboard, and the cheese was a treat. She hoped she wasn’t going to have to fight for it.
But if she did, she was gonna go for the eyeballs.
“Yes.”
The boy shifted from foot to foot before he offered, “I have our last jam sandwich. Do you wanna trade halves?”
Dis stared at him.
“You don’t have to,” the boy said, rubbing a ragged wrist on his nose. “I’m just offerin’.”
The princess looked between the boy’s face and his sandwich. Her heart was beating fast – someone her own age, what was she supposed to do? She’d always been the baby around older siblings and cousins-
“Okay,” she said, trying to sound confident, and the boy grinned, big and gap-toothed for the moment, before he plopped cheerfully down beside her.
“Bofur,” he said, tearing his sandwich carefully in half, “son of Kefur.”
“Dis,” she answered, picking up her neatly sliced sandwich and handing him his share, “daughter of Freya.”
Bofur grinned again. “Dis is kind of a funny name.”
Dis stuck her tongue out.
Bofur grinned.
And a gloriously unconventional and generally inappropriate friendship was born.
~~~~~~
Convincing a peaceful Hobbit that he should leave his planet – something no Hobbit had ever done – and face the most feared race in the galaxy was no small feat. Dis left Thorin to it, trusting Bofur and Balin to act as buffers if her brother became too abrasive. He was actually trying, in his way, to be friendly, she just wasn’t sure a Hobbit would read it as such.
The rest of the Khazad scattered, so as to be less overwhelming (twelve aliens in your dining room was rather a lot, and poor Mr. Baggins had been horrified when Fíli had to walk down his table to hand out drinks and reach his seat). Her boys she found sitting on top of the home’s gentle swell, cheerfully drinking Mr. Baggins’ ale and leaning comfortably against each other. Kíli laughed, a little too loud as always, and Fíli looked quietly amused, crinkles at the edges of his eyes.
Her heart warmed.
The thought of her boys, home, with stone under their feet and soaring over their heads, made everything worth it.
“You’ll want to talk to them before clothes come off and the Hobbits get an eyeful.”
The voice seemed to come from nowhere, but Dis knew the owner too well. A quick glance revealed a flash of brown and blue in one of the tall trees that lined the main road. “There you are,” she said, turning and tilting her head back. “I wanted to thank you for bopping Bofur for me in there.”
Nori rolled his eyes. “He was being a brat and he knew it. He deserved more than he got, and so do you for using the phrase ‘bopping Bofur.’” He looked down at her with his crooked little smile. Nori was well up in the tree – always a climber, not proper Khazad behavior at all – managing to lean against the trunk as if he had materialized there instead of climbing. He nodded to the little hill of the Hobbit’s home. “Ori was with them for a while, but he knows them too well to stay around when they’re getting in their cups and what flimsy excuses for inhibitions they have start to fade away.”
Dis laughed. Her boys were actually quite well behaved most of the time, fully aware that the others didn’t have the loves of their lives aboard the Retribution. But they did enter a highly cuddly mode when ale was involved, and it had gotten out of hand, ah. Once or twice.
“I’ll talk to them.”
“Oh, let them have their fun. There’s five bedrooms I that smial and they should have one of them. Just make sure it’s in a bedroom and not on the roof.” His face turned serious and still, as it did. “The months ahead aren’t going to be easy for any of us.”
“But the reward-”
“Might be worth it,” he interrupted, “if we all survive to see it.”
Not a natural optimist, Nori. But she couldn’t blame him.
Their mission was impossible, and they had already been away so long.
“We will,” she answered with the determination of the powerful. After all, why else was she here, away from her people and the warmth of her husband so long, if not to see that this company was alive and well at the end of their journey.
Nori snorted. “If willpower could defeat the Smaug, we could send you in alone.” She grinned up at him, and he shook his head. “Now, if you’ll excuse me?”
“Of course.” She waved a hand. She knew why he was out here, even if he’d never confess to it. He was more like Dori than he would ever admit, worrying and fussing over his Ori and her boys. He could go exploring now that she was here to take over.
“Exploring” often being synonymous with “snooping,” which was how he knew just how many bedrooms their Mr. Baggins had.
Nori nodded, and there was a flash of his vulpine smile as he blended into the dark.
He was so quick, and so silent, and so different, and so much a part of how Dis survived from day to day. They’d been inseparable so long, the three of them: the princess, the miner, and the thief.
~~~~~~~~~
Orphans were a natural result of the attack on Erebor.
No child would tease another about lost parents, not when they’d lost so many themselves. But children will always find reasons to be cruel, and targets to attack, if they’re not taught better. And the Khazad, who valued directness over subterfuge, sometimes erred on the side of a blunt cruelty.
The adults were so busy surviving that the children weren’t always taught the line between honesty and meanness.
And so it was Nori, whose mother lived, who came under attack from his fellows.
“My dad said your mama’s a whore.”
“My aunt said there were lots of good people who died, so why should your family live?”
“My dad said-”
Nori curled up against them then, not the sarcastic, sharp-tongued, deadly Khazad he would be in later years. He was only a boy, several years younger than Dis and Bofur, and he was tired and scared and overwhelmed, and his big brother was gone for the day, which is why they could get away with this.
No one mentioned their mother’s profession in Dori’s hearing. He’d broken several noses already.
It was Bofur who stood first, his friendly face screwed up in a scowl. Dis grabbed for him, tugged at his arm.
“They’re being mean,” he said, pulling.
“Then they’ll be mean to us!”
Bofur looked down at her, and there was disappointment in his face. “That doesn’t matter,” he said, and Dis blinked up at him.
She’d always been taught that having the people like you made you a stronger leader.
“Mama’s with the guild,” Nori piped up behind his arms, because that’s what Dori always said. Dis didn’t really understand what that meant, and when she asked Thorin he’d looked offended and told her she wasn’t old enough to know yet.
…Then he’d muttered she might never be old enough to know.
She hated it when he said that!
“I’m going to help him,” Bofur announced.
Dis hesitated only a second before bouncing to her feet, determination in her eyes.
She wasn’t going to be king, anyway. Thorin was.
When they spoke, it was with one voice:
“Leave him alone!”
“Don’t you tell us what to do!” one of the bullies hissed, but another grabbed her arm and whispered, “It’s the princess!”
As the bullies grumbled and complained and finally walked away, Dis realized for the first time in her life that being princess…might not be so bad.
Maybe she couldn’t be friends with everyone, and maybe they were kind of scared of her, but she had Thorin and Frerin and Bofur-
And, she learned very quickly, a fast-fingered, sharp-eyed little Nori as well.
Atani: also called humans or man, the Atani are the most numerous race in the Arda. Originally from the planet Beleriand (now abandoned), the Atani have colonized over two dozen planets and developed a number of languages. The Atani are a relatively short-lived species, but reproduce at a rate that cannot be matched by any other race save the Hobbits of Shire. The Atani colonies now exist as separate worlds with their own governments.
Major Atani planets include Rohan, Gondor, Arnor, Arthedain, Rhudaur, Numenor, with smaller colonies on planets and moons
Dúnedain: the Dúnedain are actually Atani, the first to travel and meet Elves in space. The Dúnedain and Elves had close ties in the Past, and the Elves gifted the Dúnedain with limited genetic resequencing which has extended their lifetimes to three times those of other Atani. The Dúnedain are, however, a very small group with limited reproduction as a similar side effect to those suffered by Elves. Their colony-turned-home-world is located in the same system as Shire, and they act as go-betweens for the Hobbits in dealing with the interstellar community.
Dale: a small colony of Atani situated on one of Erebor’s moons. Dale was settled through a treaty with the Line of Durin, and was in a close symbiotic relationship with the Khazad there until the arrival of the Smaug. Though the Smaug have ignored the largely agricultural moon, their presence has effectively cut Dale off from the rest of the Arda.
The Khazad are a small but physically powerful species sometimes referred to as “dwarves.” They are an advanced race known for brilliant engineering as well as gorgeous metal work. According to legend, the Khazad all came from a single homeworld, Khazad-dum, which was lost centuries in the past because of the semi-mythical Balrog. During that time, the various Khazad colonies were also lost – often due to destruction of the planet’s atmosphere due to over-production, or to attacks. For several generations, all Khazad save the Line of Durin have lived aboard huge ships, usually accompanied by a fleet of smaller, more maneuverable escort ships. The large ships are referred to by the Khazad as “Mountains.” The last Khazad colony, Erebor, was lost a century ago in an attack by the reptilian race known as the Smaug, making the Khazad an entirely ship-bound race.
SS Belegost: a Khazad Mountain which used to have a sister-mountain, the Nogrod, which was completely destroyed during the War of Wrath. Belegost is the oldest of the space-going ships, and the people (called Broadbeams), have lived so long on ships that they have no interest in living on a planet. In order to maintain a genetic diversity and to avoid overpopulation, there are strict rules concerning reproduction on the Belegost, which have been adapted by most of the other Mountains.
SS Ered Luin: The Ered Luin and her various escort ships are the home of Durin’s Folk, the only group of Khazad which still has a large living generation that grew up on a planet. The Ered Luin was originally a large transport vessel called the Lonely Mountain but was renamed when the planet was lost and the Belegost assisted with redesigning and outfitting the ship for long term habitation. The Belegost’s lost planet was known as Ered Luin, so Durin’s Folk renamed their ship in honor of the Broadbeams and because Thror, the Heir of Durin at the time of the naming, insisted that Erebor could someday be retaken. Since Thorin, the Heir of Durin, left to train his heirs, the Ered Luin has been under the direction of Vali, son of Varin, husband of the Crown Prince, Dis.
SS Moria: a ship lost to the Orcs approximately five centuries ago. The Moria has been in Orc space for centuries, but there was an attempt to retake it by Durin’s Folk, which failed and led to the deaths of Thror (Heir of Durin), Frerin (Prince of Durin), and others.
SS Iron Mountain: the ship of Dain Ironfoot, cousin to Thorin. Iron Mountain is a ship the size of a city, with a population of over twenty thousand, and it has a fleet of forty smaller ships. The people of the Iron Mountain do well, but because of the sheer magnitude of their population and refusal to adopt the reproduction rules, they are poorer than some smaller Khazad mountains.
SS Ered Mithrin: a ship of moderate size and age, the Ered Mithrin follows the rules of reproduction. The Ered Mithrin has been almost completely rebuilt twice in its existence and is one of the most high-tech of the Khazad mountains.
Orocarni: actually a collective of four small Mountains that are joined by protective treaties. These Mountains trade young couples on a regular basis to maintain genetic diversity while also following some of the reproductive guidelines of the Belegost. Separately, the Ococarni ships are the Red Mountain, Ered Engrin, Helcar, and Zaghith.
The Company of the SS Retribution worked hard, but their captain wasn't a slave driver. He knew the importance of down time, even if he seemed incapable of taking it for himself. Every couple of months, Balin and Ori would locate a nice planet or planetoid devoid of locals, and the crew of the Retribution would take a couple of days off, either planetside of aboard ship, as each individual preferred.
On these trips, Fili and Kili could always be found planetside, of course, along with Nori, Bofur, Dis, and Oin (though he gathered herbs more than he relaxed). The others waited until they saw what the planet was like before deciding whether to go down or spend two glorious days sleeping in their bunks, preferably without their bunkmate.
Rarely did a location entice every one down - especially Thorin, who as aforementioned could not relax, and Ori, who was born on a ship and felt a ship was exactly where his boots belonged (what he would do if this mad quest of the captain’s worked, rather than leaving them all imploded husks in orbit around Erebor, Nori didn’t know). Complete disembarkation did happen occasionally, however, as it did during their voyage to Shire, when Balin found a planet with shallow, crystal clear lakes surrounded by stone and grass.
The Retribution could land, when needed, but she did best in space, so it was up to Nori and his Jackrabbit to take groups ashore. Fili and Kili were in his first haul, as always, they being the most used to traveling through the atmosphere and visiting planets. In fact, Fíli’s beloved Raven was tucked in her usual spot in the Jackrabbit’s hold, just in case the prince felt the need to go for a ride planetside.
When they arrived, Nori was interested to find that they had between them, held in firm grips, his own baby brother, Ori.
"Nori!" Ori growled upon seeing him (and how entertaining, Ori wasn't usually one to growl), "They're kidnaping me!"
Nori looked over the two princes. While usually they did, indeed, look rather like kidnapers in their all-black mission gear, this morning they were dressed comfortably, Fili in sedate browns and Kili in perhaps the most obnoxious blue shirt Nori had ever seen in his life. It had an eye-searing repeating design of uncut diamonds printed on it. That sort of tacky must have come from one of the Ococarni mountains, perhaps the Ered Engrin, though how Kíli got his hands on it was a mystery. They looked like vacationers, not trained robbers.
Ori, of course, looked as he always did, in mismatched layers and one of his soft scarves, as if the ship was kept at subarctic levels rather than a nice, steady temperature designed for maximum dwarven comfort.
"Really?" Nori asked, his voice the sort of lazy drawl that drove his other brother up the wall. "You don't seem to be putting up much of a fight."
Ori glared at him. His glares were, much to Ori's chagrin and Nori's endless delight, terribly cute rather than frightening. "I did before they got hold of my scarf."
It was only then that Nori noted the scarf was wrapped, not around Ori's neck, but around his arms and torso.
He shook his head sadly. "Kidnapped with your own knitwear. I have failed you as a brother."
"Shut up and save me!"
Nori considered this. "How much," he asked, "will you pay me to save you?"
Any time was a good time to make a deal, even when his baby brother was in pseudo-danger. Considering the princes were Ori’s closest friends and depended on his voice for survival on a semi-regular basis, Nori wasn’t genuinely concerned for his safety. Getting off the Retribution for a few hours wouldn’t kill Ori, no matter what he thought.
Ori’s glare darkened cutely. "Nothing! You're my big brother! It's your job to save me!
"I'm fairly certain it ceased being my job when you turned seventy and started making eyes at the king's bodyguard."
Ori turned an infuriated pink as Fili and Kili grinned. "I knew it!" Kili crowed, letting go long enough to pump a victorious fist in the air.
Ori, to Nori’s secret pride, twisted neatly and would have gotten free on that side, had the elder prince – more focused and less given to wandering attention than his brother – not hissed and made up for Kíli’s missing hand by wrapping a boot neatly around Ori’s and tugging just enough to interfere with Ori’s balance.
Nori felt another moment of accomplishment. That was an underhanded little trick Nori had taught Fíli, back when the prince wasn’t quite in his majority and they had only recently all left together on the Retribution. It hadn’t been easy overcoming the firm sense of honor and fair play Fíli’s family had put in his head and convince him to cheat a little.
Fili snorted. His hair was down for once, an obnoxiously attractive golden fall down his back. When Nori left his hair loose, he looked like a deranged fluffball. "Only because I told you,” he said, and, ignoring Kíli’s growled indignation, “All right, let's get him in the Hopper."
The princes paid no mind to Nori's snarl - he hated the idiotic nickname this group of utter misfits had come up with for his beloved Jackrabbit. Gingerhopper indeed. Instead, they gripped his brother's arms and lifted him onto the ship and more or less wrestled him - over Ori's loud protestations - into a seat and buckled him in.
"Group one ready to go!" Fili called cheerfully, because four was a full load for the Jackrabbit.
Beyond several minutes of Ori reaming both Fíli and Kíli out in the most polite fashion possible, the first flight down was uneventful. By the time the princes were rolling out the door like puppies, chattering about a nearby waterfall perfect for trying to break their necks jumping off of, Ori was relaxed enough to inform them he wouldn’t even go for help and they deserved everything they got.
----
It did take the Rabbit several trips, of course, and Nori didn’t bother to hide a little grin when Dwalin glowered his way into a seat instead of staying aboard. Ori would be pleased.
Nori's final trip was meant to be only Balin and Dis, since the king generally preferred to stay with the ship. However, he ended up with three passengers again - this time at the insistence of the Retribution's stubborn, powerful, kind, loving, and beautiful first officer.
The sound of boots coming down the short hallway to the Retribution’s tiny ship bay was accompanied by the pleasant growl of the captain’s voice. "Someone should stay with the ship-"
"She's being monitored, Thorin." Ah, the motherly Dis, her voice warm. Lines crinkled beside her blue eyes as they came into view – this was the voice she used when dealing with her sons, or calling her husband back aboard the Ered Luin.
"I really don't need to-"
"Yes you do, Thorin."
"I'd love to catch up on some sleep-"
"Sounds like an excellent excuse for a moonlit nap."
"Really, Dis, this isn't necess-"
"Thorin, you are going down to this planet with me and that's final. No more discussion, no more whinging, no more trying to wriggle out of it.” Her voice sharpened, and now she sounded like the prince she was, destined to be the new Heir one day, if she didn’t abdicate for her son. “Thorin, you’re becoming more and more on edge. You need to get your feet on some stone and take a few days to breathe.” She reached out and rested her hands on his shoulders. Dis was a tall female, not much shorter than her brother. “Thorin, I know better than anyone else what this mission means to you. We’ll be at Shire in just a couple of weeks. Taking a couple of days to feel the soil and relax will be good for you. You’ll see.”
Thorin, the Heir of Durin, captain of their ship, brooding and silent and often difficult to understand -
-was also no fool.
He leaned forward, his forehead touching lightly against his sister’s. Thorin trusted his sister’s council; he said she had given him reason to, all their adult lives. “All right, Dis. I’ll do my best.”
“Good,” she said, giving his right braid a tug, a sign of affection her younger son had picked up for his brother as well. “That’s all I’m asking for.”
Thorin boarded the Jackrabbit with his usual look of faint concern that Nori's precious lady might fall apart in seconds. Dis boarded with her usual grin and warm hello. She was a dwarf who properly appreciated a ride in a small ship helmed by a brilliant pilot.
"Buckle your harnesses!" Nori called cheerfully, and if perhaps he did a loop de loop on the way down, it certainly wasn't just to see the alarm of his captain's usually immobile face.
