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summary: f!reader is a writer who rents a house in the middle of nowhere to finish her second book. she doesn't know that there is someone else in the woods. stalker. someone who feels connection to her because of her work, because of the story she chose to write. while she's working on her story, there is a lurking shadow, whose obsessive love will turn the events of this getaway trip.
chapters: 1 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
trigger warnings: +18 (nsfw), stalking, obsessive behavior, violence, blood/gore, swearing, angst, guns/knives, implications of: toxic parents, sexual assault. Mentions of :killing, taking sleeping pills. let me know if I missed any.
word count: +5.6 k (reading time : 20 mins)
divider: coolcatsgraphics
authors note: thank you for people who are ınvested ın the story and keeps me motıvated to do thıs. thıs ıs the fırst oc story i'm sharing here and it means the world to me that you guys like it. i've planned few chapters in advance and i just love writing it in perspective that the love interest is YOU.
I've been staring to the wall for a past hour or two, I lost count. I can be still. I can be invisible, silent, transparent, not there. You see, Y/N , I learned that pretty early in my life. I've learned to be a part of my surroundings, be an inanimate object. My dad thought me very well. I always went to hunt with him. I actually hated it. Tearing the skin from the bones with a sharp knife, bent at the end just slightly so you can bleed them dry more easily.
Maybe I was thirteen at that point, who remembers these things? He told me to remain still, not to let out any sound, so I wouldn't scare a deer in the near distance. Stealth and good scope, that's it. Don't forget to breath out before pulling the trigger. But I moved and stepped on a twig under my shoes. Poor animal just ran. Funny how they remain still when you're coming at them at the full speed on highway and gets scared by crack of wood. I looked at my father, maybe thinking that "sorry" will cut it. Well, maybe I'll leave this for next time.
I figured it out that I don't have any options here. If the alarm set by the door , means all windows are also out of the variables. Honestly, I've fucked up so much just because I wanted to lay with you in the same bed, same sheets, surrounded by you, by your touch and scent. Looking at you while you breath in me, without understanding what particles are going inside you. Parts of my dead skin. I've been watching for so long, that it seemed fake, lucid dream. I'm in control of it, but I don't want to ever wake up.
Instead you decided that you're nervous system is going fight the pill and mess up my plan. Standing in the bathroom and looking at the change of coloring behind the window. Dark gray slowing turning into muddy blues, forest having it's actual forms. I wanted to close my eyes, or go back in time, so I wouldn't have fallen asleep. I would lie if I said that I didn't need to to press myself into the mattress right beside you. I should stop giving myself accusations, I know for a fact - I would've got in your room in any scenarios, in any multiverse.
Reaping the consequences. Cut me deep, let me starve, torture if you want. The decision was made. Yes, that sounds dramatic, but I never was more at ease than when I was there, with you. I know how pathetic that sounds. Jerking off looking at you naked without you knowing, holding your hand inside mine without your knowledge. Even if there was a chance, surely I wouldn't ask, rejection and all that. Sorry won't cut it, will it? It never does.
I sat on the washing machine. Sadly stuck in the problem I've created myself. What if you will want to go wash some clothes? You find some guy in your rented house, when you already put in your alarm, so you know he got here in the middle of the night when you forget to turn it on, in those few hours interval. House keeping ! Yeah, me with cargo pants and leather gloves came to clean your bathroom without any supplies.
None suppose to know you're here, so how could I build a believable alibi with the way I look and… Fuck. My mask was in the car. I can't even leave here without flashing my face to you. I banged my head to the wall. Few times. Not loud enough but good enough to feel even dumber every second. I looked at my wrist watch. It's almost six. You woke up yesterday at eight. What I'm suppose to do until I will be seen? I could just run. Push myself through a narrow window in the bathroom. Get back to my car and forget this ever happen. Get a new girl to stalk. Imagine it would feel the same. Y/N , you know I can't. My body will itch without checking on you.
I know I shouldn't do that. But I had time. Your laptop on my knees. I was surprised that that you had passcode on your phone but not on this, when it holds the most precious thing for you. Your writing. Some parts were still not decided, you wrote options for the end of some dialogues. This actually felt criminal, not the fact that I was tailing you for few months. Somehow I could feel that you were hurt while writing this. Or I just knew you were and thought I understood you deeper. I wanted to know you like that physically and mentally.
Not everyone can admit they're sick. Well, I could but not when it's from someone's else mouth but mine. And yet here's the other reason I picked you. You wanted lurking fear on your back, feeling shiver down your spine. 'Fuckface' was too bland? He didn't offer you the world , most likely tried to be your world, didn't he? I drifted away. Eyes pinned on the corner of the laptop , looking at time, minutes switching one by another. I placed your laptop back on the coffee table. Stood up and looked at the backyard. Somewhere in between those branches, there's my car. Yes, you can't see anything from here.
I didn't want you to see me, but I can't run, because my charade will be done. There is no possible lie I could think on the spot if try. It wouldn't fool you. Knock you out and then run? I don't want to hurt you, honestly. You don't deserve that. I could see light shining through naked trees. My eyes hurt. That one hour of sleep was not enough for sure. Waiting at the door. Looking up at the stairs. I had to find a way to stay. It would be like ripping out my breathing tube and leaving me to die. Air I need to live. You are the dioxygen.
It was defeat but I got back to the bathroom. Locking myself back to the cell, serving my time for bad decisions I landed on. Didn't read whole 14 chapters of your drafts. But you always need to stop, doesn't matter how much you want it, you'll want it even more if you will let it slowly develop in the phase you desire it to stop at. Just like you. This was not the time.
Almost nine. I got worried that you took to many sleeping pills. It can't be that bad. But you never know, do you? I needed to check on you, almost opened the door but you sneaked through your bedrooms first. So I stood there, holding the door knob in my hand. Boots on the ground. Listening to your slow steps. So light on your feet, I could swear you were not even touching the ground, I knew were your were standing by humming, it was interrupted with a yawn.
Your phone was buzzing. Cutting of socials. Well, that's a lie. Maybe you posted that , so you could cut someone out? Push them in illusion that you are not reachable? If that was the plan, it was pretty good I might say. You tricked me at least. Well , I didn't think you would lie to people who follow you. Literally and not. Can't get away from me in any side of the map.
Buzzing sound and at the same time, really really small voice. Were you listening to music or just someone actually talking in another end? I couldn't check to be sure. It was too light to crack open a door even a little bit. Fear. It was piercing my body. Tiny blades opening a wound inside my brain. I'll get drunk of this panic, or just pass out. Maybe my body at least would block the door and you wouldn't able to open it, because you didn't seem like you could push off my weight. But you were full of surprises , so I never know with you.
There was sounds I could digest, was that something heavy? Was that just some dishes? But other audio waves I can understand. Beeping sound. Alarm system. You're going outside? I put my face closer to the door. Did you walk out or not? Temperature change was a tell. You did open the door. Keys dangling. Don't close them behind, don't close them please. I pressed my lips together. Good girl. There was no sound that you… and then you did. You stepped back on the porch and you locked the doors with the keys from the outside." Oh fuck, come on". I muttered under my breath. Knocked the bathroom door with my forehead. Looking at my socks. There was a hair on the top of them. Yours.
My fingers gripped the handle and I opened them just enough to peak through. You were not on the porch. You went for a scroll around the house just like first day when you almost got too close, are you doing that again? Heart pumping inside my chest. Arms a bit sweaty, like I was holding hands with that Gretchen girl in the fifth grade. I slowly popped my head out of the bathroom. You were standing near the snowy bench. Around you a warm smokes forming from a cup of coffee and you hugging yourself inside a blanket. I could do that for you. No, not now. I need to think about the way to leave, not to fantasize how I could be the one to keep you warm.
Front door not an option. Living room windows doesn't open, it's just a fish tank. I looked back. Bathroom window is small but maybe I could manage? But still, it's on the side of the house, you could turn around and see me. Bedroom. Second floor. I rubbed my palms against my hair, I knew it was a mess. Risk of getting dislocated shoulder or being seen by you? Fucking shoulder it is.
I walked out of the bathroom. Ran straight to the stairs. Small distance but still needed to be fast, just in case. Holding the boots under my armpit. Opening your room doors. First glimpse was at empty basket, just with underwear, the ones you wore yesterday. Yeah, no, Jay. Got straight to the window, it was open, but not enough for me to go through it, I need to open it fully. Will that be a detail which won't pass your eyes? I had to take a chance on that. I opened it. Put on the shoes. Barely tied them. Don't have much time.
Wait. One glove. The other one I put… I patted my back pocket… inside my back pocket. Which was empty. Where the fuck did I lose it? I heard the door on the first floor open. It happened so fast. I squeezed myself through and just saw ground close up on me. Went with legs first. The feet hit so hard, I fell on my knees right after. It's much easier in movies. It burned. But I got up. Going straight to right. Not to the side of the house, which was basically windows.
This part was even more dense. Branches scratching my face, stopping my run, catching me by the ankles. Almost fell few times. I hoped you will wonder that you just left the window more open then it was. And the glove. If dropped it on stairs, I just can pack my shit and go. Clothes like that just doesn't go around the house appearing in random places. I tied my shoes harder when I got further. Catching my breath. I looked back. Weird reflex. I know you didn't follow.
Detour. Getting back to my car took a bit of time. Needed to get up on the hill and then get down, if I wanted to keep my tracks in the forest. Here's my blue beauty. Old one. But it was my grandmas. I could get a new one, not a bother, but this one holds memories. Important for my character development I may add. This was first place I understood what kind of human I was. Breaking the glass I was surrounded by while I was a teenager. Weak, spineless little brat.
I sat in drivers seat. Eyes dry. Body sore. I felt warmth on my leg. My wet and cold fingers revealed that the knife on the calf cut my leg. Probably the pressure of the fall. Just a little, but enough to make a mess. I touched my bright red blood. Didn't cut anything deep enough to bleed my out but I needed to take care of it. I took out the paper towel and pressed it on the cut to keep the pressure. I hope it won't get infected.
Lifted my eyes up to view of the dinning room. You were sitting on the sofa. Touching the keyboard, slowly, thinking the words not as fast as you wanted to type. You didn't go to the second floor? Your coffee mug on the table in front of you. The phone on the sofa beside you. That reminded me. I took mine out of glove compartment and turned it on. Few messages from Lizza, one of them was [You watching TV? So how come I knocked and you didn't answer? There was no answer? You are not home, aren't you?]. "What the hell, Liza" I talked to myself. That's becoming a thing. Is she's stalking me? What's wrong with her? Okay, I walked right into that one.
If she was at my door the other night, she knows I'm lying. But why is she doing that if she didn't talk to me for so long. Honestly, should I be even bother by that? [Hi. I heard you. Sorry, but I didn't want to talk.] I wrote back. Getting deeper into the the hole. I don't know if she said anything or just knocked but needed to play safe. Whatever game she is playing. I didn't have time for some co-worker who doesn't mean anything to me. The one that matter was sitting on the sofa. In the aquarium I loved to look at.
I changed my clothes. Fully naked and you didn't even know. I'm not an animal, I took a lot of spare underwear, socks and such. It was cold pulling up the cotton on myself. Car took in all the frost from the night. Or was it lack of sleep? Lack of food? Seemed like I was only driven on the adrenaline and the visual of you.
I put on thermal shirt with long sleeves. Sticking with cargo pants. Not a lot of them in my backpack. Took out bottle of water and protein bar. Soon I would need to get myself some real food. But there is quite the distance and I can't do it while you on with your activities. I need to get some sleep and do it at night when you're asleep.
Better don't make same mistake again, even when it's so tempting to lay beside you. Feel the blood rushing in your veins, just imagining it again makes me smile. I hugged myself while eating this odd flavor bar. My eyes kept gluing themselves together. You were in the peak of your storytelling now, I saw how fast your fingers were moving. Did you sleep good? Was the smell of my skin helped to unclog that block in your head?
The place where your hand was resting while you were sleeping, it still burned. You left a mark on my skin and it won't wash off. The grip you hold on me. On someone you don't know. I wish you did. Maybe it's delusions, but I'm still sure you would understand. Eyes got heavy after every second passing just more and more. Your face started to melt when heart beating settled to normal. I was slowly drifting into dreams. I could cross my heart and say, even in them, I would dream of you. My brown hair sliding on the seat, while body sinking in. Still slowing chewing on last bit of my breakfast. My eyes slowly opened, focusing on the path up on the hill. I saw a figure coming from the road.
I tossed my water and mostly eaten bar on the passenger's seat. Who is that? Slowly walking on the narrow trail from the main road. I turned my head more to the left. Saw car's hood, barely, from the snowy branches much further in west side. Wearing a beanie. But I saw that he had a buzzcut. Two earrings in both ears. Fuckface. You wrote him? I actually felt a bit of disgust. No to you. To the type you chose. He was definitely shorter than me but maybe the shoulder width overcompensated that, looked fit, from the distance. I lost him for a second. He went around the house, he knew where's the entry. You were still siting on the couch, not switching your position, like you didn't plan to have guests?
You looked back. He knocked I would assume. The sides on the door was glass but he wasn't standing there to be visible. You froze and took your phone. You looked back again. Okay, you didn't write him. You seemed scared? I saw in your face that you were weighting your options. Slowly putting your laptop on table. This movie speed just started to slack tempo, I was getting into slow motion making it tense.
You got up, as you did, I've straighten my back, like a string. I was waiting for someone to shoot into the sky and I would run. Like a dog chasing the fake rabbit. You crossed your arms and checked the window and then turned around. Almost thought you will walk back to the living room area. Your eyes burning a hole on the ground. He's not suppose to be here? Neither am I, but I'm not ruining your peace. You screamed something? No, it was just a little bit higher tone, I saw from your vein on the neck. Anger.
My breathing was uneven. Looking at you screaming into the void. Clenched fists. Now I saw him clearly. He took a step to the side and I could see him in that rectangle window, he was showing you his phone and I couldn't make a picture or a text he was wiggling in his palm. Too far. You were shaking your head. Disagreeing with whatever he was babbling about. The urge to be there and put a few marks of knuckles in his face was so tempting. Don't know what kind of problem he is, but he was for you. Problems needs to be eliminated.
My fingers clenched handle of the cars door when I saw that your eyes were tearing up. From anger. Lips pressed so hard together. And then you turned around and put in the code. You're letting him in? Why? Y/N , why would you do that? Grinded my jaw. Looked down on to the side. This sight is not what I was here for. Little moments belonged to us. Not him. My eyes got back to you. He was standing near the door. You further from him, leaning on the wall close to the fireplace.
I need to turn off this channel. I thought it was history, you deleted him from your life , you erased the pictures of any reminiscence of the two of you. Apparently I was wrong. He took of his beanie and jacket, placing it on the chair, there was a hanger right behind him. That annoyed you, I saw you look up and down his movements.
He was speaking, arms going around, a little bent posture, in "forgive me" body position. I felt jealousy slowly eating me up. He could stand there without any guilt. Though I wouldn't feel fuzzy inside if you would be staring at me like that, like you could break a bottle's neck to stuck into his. Your conversation was heating up. He was rolling his eyes, you pointing a finger at him, again and again. That somehow was a relief to see. Even in your sleep, you were so gentle to me and he's getting your wrath. I shouldn't gloat in this moment but smirk appeared on my lips.
Fuckface walking to you slowly, to a hurt animal. You going backwards, brushed you back on the wall an walked to other side of the room, near the windows, now I couldn't see your face, just the back of your head and the figure. He grabbed your hand and stopped you from escaping to the other side of the room again. You pressing your phone in your palm. He tried to kiss you, you maneuvered out of it. My hands almost pale from grip on my own thighs. I need to break his jaw, even for trying to lean in. He was still trying. My head buzzing, like thousands of bees just emerged into my skull. Shaking my leg of anxiety.
You throwed a punch, with the hand you had your phone in, impact on his face. I saw the lines on the cheek and eyebrow. Small cut right beneath it. He pushed you into the aquarium window. You dropped on the ground. "Help!" . Muffled cry for a rescue in middle of nowhere. I didn't hear but I read it in your lips. Your phone screen is cracked. He pulled you, grabbed your hair, your elbow went straight into his crotch and he immediately let you go. I can't, I can't. You got up and started to run into direction of escape, he caught your ankle and you fell to the ground. I can't stay put. Even if it will cost me everything. I have to protect you. I put on my mask on and got out of the car.
Running through the woods, just this time not from you, but to you. Going from the west side, avoiding the windows. I looked on my left to the car parked way off on the road. Pressed myself to the building when I got to entry part. Breathing so deep that I could swear I would be heard before I even walk in. Mask wet from my own breath. Adrenaline cutting into my system. I checked the window near the door. The kitchen space and living room was empty. My glove , which was still on one of my arms was so sweaty inside. I opened the door. Walked in. It's so silent. It was terrifying.
I looked up. The bedroom. I will slaughter him. My steps were quick and I yanked the door handle without any thought. It's locked. " Eric, I said to wait in the car !" Low voice instantly called back to my action. I heard the rubble but no sound from you. I took few steps back from the door. One breath in. Run straight into it. Once. It seemed that it moved but didn't budge out of place. "What the fuck ? Go away!" He screamed at so called Eric. I took a step back again. This time I had to go with more force. My hand from shoulder to the wrist felt the impact. Ribs were shaken up. Felt gastric acid in my mouth. The door fell on the ground. I stumble but managed to keep myself on feet.
His arm around your neck and the other one around you mouth. Your eyes watery. One side of the t-shirt ripped revealing your shoulder and collar bone. You were looking at me. So did he. I guess I was bigger threat, he let you go and went to me. Pushing me into the cabinet. I heard you coughing. He punched me in the stomach right after the push. He kept distance for a bit " Who the hell are you? A robber or some shit?" He laughed after the words like me busting inside the bedroom with whole door was definitely 'giving robber vibes' .
You laying on the edge of the bed. My brown eyes looking at yours, we spoke without words. You jumped on him, getting those hands around his throat. He was trying to shake you off. I got on my feet. My leg went a little of the ground and I kicked him in the shin from back, you fell back on the bed and fuckface on the floor. He looked up and my boot went straight into his face. " Do you like that, huh?" I smiled while his face took the sole of a shoe. I felt my control slowly slipping away from me.
His blood on your beige color carpet. Your eyes got wider. Your expression was puzzled. I know I needed to have my attention span to you but he was so pathetic, so deserving. You ran past through me. I looked back. You pulled me out of my trance and he took a chance to use it. I saw your hair swinging while you ran back the stairs. I even felt ease on my face when I saw you go to safety.
His shoe struck my leg and got me off my balance, but not enough, I didn't let him get the advantage. Kicked him again. And again. " Not so fun now?" I felt fire from my own breath. What if I wasn't here? What I he had all the time in the universe? I didn't even wanted to imagine it. Even when my instincts wanted to finish him, what if you ran outside? Buzzcut was not moving for now. I know it's a bad idea but I had to be sure.
Ran to the first floor. You were holding a knife. You didn't make a run? Maybe because you tried to call police first. You heard me getting down and that stopped you in the middle of escape The doors were open. "Don't come any closer" You said with trembling voice. " I called police, they will be here soon". I was just standing there on the last step. Looking at you. Your neck was a bit red, there will be a bruise later. Both hands on the handle, blade pointed straight to me. Did you see me the same as him? Did you not see how I was trying to help you? Why you making me an enemy?
" I'm not a threat, Y/N". I said while my arms was in the air, giving myself up. The change on your face. Fuck. Did I just said your name out loud? I'm so used to calling you by your name in my head. " What?" You asked me , like I should repeat what I just said, you took a step back. Not a good start. " How do you know my name?" Your eyes went to direction to an open door for a second. Indicating your intentions. You were scared and it's understandable. I'm surprised how you are not crawled into a tiny ball by now.
You screamed as a warning but it was too late. He skipped a lot of steps. A heavy body pressed me to the ground. He's not even that big, how the hell he's so heavy? All air from my lungs was just pushed out by his attack. I felt metal on my neck. "Drop it" He said to you, while you were holding a knife. Your eyes went to me. For comfort? Or saying that he will blow my brains out? You didn't needed to testify for me, you didn't know me. For you, I could've been here to rob you, or have the same intention he had. But your eyes leaning to me, as a magnet. Bad situation. But I was drinking your depth. Drinking the sorrow from your retina. You saw me. Me. My heart getting out of the rhythm.
Well, his thighs around my waist, not what I wanted for sure. You knew that cold weapon has no advance in gun fight. Looking at him with the glock pressed to my neck, then back to me. It was the moment I had to make my decision. Just like I did with being seen or breaking my bones. I mouthed out "Run". And you did, dropping the knife on the floor. Instantly after that, he lifted his gun from me, to shoot you but I grabbed his hand. The bullet went somewhere into the wall. You ran barefoot through the front door. I chased you for so long just to let you get as far from me as possible. I don't know what hurt more, knowing that maybe lead will pierce my skin or that you just ripped yourself from me.
He was trying to moved guns direction to my face. He was on me. I can't hear anything from the shot he made at you. I would assume that someone will come to the rescue but there is nothing around in miles. Only breathing which showed that this was even fight. I thought I would take him faster, but someone was definitely working out.
My wrist cracking from the pressure. I twisted his hands, his body fell on the side right next to me. Hitting his arms to the floor, so fingers would loosen up the grip on the gun. I succeeded but he pushed it and it was now unreachable, somewhere near the cabinets of the kitchen. Same place where the knife was thrown. I got my legs around him. Around his waist and my arms around his neck. Locking him in my arms. Time to go to sleep. Buzzcut gasping for air and slamming the hand on the floor, he wanted to tap out. The movements got slower until it stopped. Took a little nap. Though he deserved forever sleep. I released my hands. And pushed him off me. Filthy. I closed my eyes for a minute. Just liked that, you slipped away from my fingers.
I'm feeling numb. My body needs rest. I could finish this fast and blow his brains out. Where's the gun? Ringing in my ears didn't stop yet. So I didn't hear how you walked in. Why you didn't run? Is it one of those moments, if you love them, let them go? If they love you too ,they will come back? Something like that. You were saying something. But I just saw your lips move. Feet red from the cold. One hand holding the gun I was just looking for and the other one was pointed at me, like you were waiting for me to toss you something. And the I heard it more clearly " Keys" You said with a demanding tone.
I was trying to at least sit. "No, stay were you are !" You said loudly. This time it was more clear. That's good, I won't be deaf. So you went to his car and there was no keys in the engine, isn't right? And I know that you don't drive. His phone in his jeans. Your phone is broken on the floor. You didn't call the police, that's a bluff. None is coming. But what about the other guy who was suppose to be in the car?
" I'm not gonna say again" You were trying to sound fierce but your voice betrayed you. You were scared. I looked up. Your eyes back at me. This time you were actually looking. Not when I imagined that you saw me in the woods, behind all those threes and spikes. I had to enjoy it for a moment. My eyes got softer. Even when you were a mess, you looked like someone straight from heaven. I wish I could tell you that. But this polaroid is slowly developing. I know that the clear view is coming. Outcome is not good for me.
I leaned forward to get up. "No" You said strictly but your hands were shaking. So I got on my feet anyway. Your pupils expanding. Maybe from adrenaline. Mine was from love. I took one step closer to you. "No, I said stop" You said putting now the other hand on the gun too. " You're not gonna shot me" I said with full confidence. Just standing there, I was testing the water "I will, fucking stop" You said trembling, safety was off. Your hair scattered all over your face, I wanted to brush them in place. Mouth open just a little, lips dry. I could make them wet. Facing each other. I walked closer. You took step back. Again and again. Your back touched the refrigerator and there was nowhere to go. Gun pressing into my chest. You finger on the trigger. You eyes locked on your own gesture. While mine was at you.
Don't know which part made me so sure that I can do this. Even when the gun was in your hand. Your chest getting up and down so fast. Air filling your lungs but not helping you with situation. My hand slowly reaching for the gun barrel. Just touching the surface. Showing you, that this doesn't scare me. You are not the killer. I wasn't the one who was playing a role of a deer in the scenario. It was you. You should've ran.















