My silly submission for Stan Week 2025 Day2: Music!
I wanted to make a new Crimson Dawn album cover and wanted to have fun with a very edgy, religious aesthetic, lol.
I imagine that Kyle and Cartman make fun of them for it afterwards and Kenny laughs along. Stan chuckles, but deep down, he thinks the cover is rad as fuck.
my south park obsession continues to bear fruit as i've crafted a little playlist for stan marsh in honor of @spstanweek he's the most interesting character to get into the head of in my opinion, partly because a lot of his struggles are ones i understand pretty well from my own childhood and teenage years and partly because i love dissecting the inner workings of depressed little guys. stan is such a depressed little guy. it's great. but also very sad
anyway, since i had so much fun doing my director's commentaries on my stan-pov fics, i wanted to do a write up about why i included each song and what they mean in regard to stan's life
as with the director's commentaries, be warned that what's under this cut is long!
i formatted this playlist into four sections: the general section, the family section, the wendy section, and the kyle section. the general section contains songs that relate to stan in general while the three other sections contain songs that relate to stan's three most important relationships- his parents, his girlfriend, and his best friend. there are also two bridges ('all apologies' and 'all i think about now') which are songs that 'bridge the gap' between two sections by fitting both relationships
"Rocky Mountain High" - John Denver
consider this the overture, the song that sets the mood
a classic song about colorado, the beauty of the rocky mountains, and how experiencing 'america's switzerland' at the right point in time can be an almost spiritual experience. it really had to be here. the playlist needed a song about colorado and no one's made a better one then this. but it's also a very fitting song for stan. it's about rebirth and discovering yourself after a long time of searching. i think that's something stan can relate to and find meaning in
i think stan comes to appreciate colorado and its beauty much more after he grows up and spends some time away from south park. he returns to his hometown and finds himself admiring it for what it is instead of resenting it for being the dead end hellhole he was trapped in as a kid
now he walks in quiet solitude, the forests and the streams
seeking grace in every step he takes
his sight has turned inside himself to try and understand
the serenity of a clear blue mountain lake
"Changes" - David Bowie
a song for stan's aspirations, the many different paths he's taken in his search for meaning and fulfillment. but also a song that relates to stan's love-hate relationship with change, fearing it but also desiring it. he doesn't want to stagnate but he doesn't want to loose what he had before
still don't know what i was waiting for
and my time was running wild, a million dead-end streets and
every time i thought i'd got it made
it seemed the taste was not so sweet
"Smells Like Teen Spirit" - Nirvana
possibly the most famous song about depressive teenage apathy, this is definitely another mood setting song. i think stan would be a big grunge fan and would connect deeply with nirvana and kurt cobain in particular. i can imagine him pouring over kurt's journals and listening to the mtv unplugged set on loop, finding that special meaning in his words that only a young person who's known similar struggles can
i'm worse at what i do best
and for this gift, i feel blessed
our little group has always been
and always will until the end
"How Soon Is Now?" - The Smiths
the beginning of the family section!
though i don't consider it a bridge, it still works as a transitional song between the general section and the family section. as with a lot of songs on this playlist, there's a depressive atmosphere to this song that fits stan and his struggles well- both the internal and external
i am the son and the heir
of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
i am the son and heir
of nothing in particular
this verse can work from either stan's pov or randy's pov. they both view each other as going about things the wrong way and both assume that the other is completely unaware of their struggles- which are often very similar when it comes to the root cause- and would be unable to understand what they're going through even if they were aware
you shut your mouth, how can you say
i go about things the wrong way?
i am human and i need to be loved
just like everybody else does
"Lost in the Supermarket" - The Clash
the first of three clash songs on this playlist and a fantastic look at broken homes in middle class suburbia and the numbness that comes from suburban alienation. these are things that stan is constantly dealing with. the images of parents fighting upstairs, aimlessly watching television, and drinking alone are like little peeks into stan's daily life as he becomes increasingly disillusioned with the world around him, including and especially his family, and seeks meaning in his life from unfulfilling sources
i wasn't born so much as i fell out
nobody seemed to notice me
we had a hedge back home in the suburbs
over which i never could see
"Father And Son" - Cat Stevens
the ultimate father and son song. of course it had to be here. it's depressing as hell, a perfect fit stan's relationship with randy. i think these lyrics are self explanatory
how can i try to explain?
when i do, he turns away again
it's always been the same
same old story
from the moment i could talk
i was ordered to listen
now there's a way
and i know that i have to go away
i know, i have to go
"All Apologies" - Nirvana
the bridge between the family section and the wendy section!
the mentions of marriage in this song really sold me on making this the bridge between the family and wendy sections. stan's parents have shown him that marriage is something you're stuck with once you've decided on it and i think stan worries about being trapped. trapped in south park, trapped in a relationship, trapped in his family
the combination of painfully honest emotion and apparent apathy definitely fits stan's relationship with wendy. he loves her, he wants her, he needs her, but he doesn't know how to share his emotions with her and often closes himself off from her. he doesn't really understand her and he doesn't let her understand him. commitment is scary, especially when you know exactly how badly it can turn out
married
married
married
buried
"I Looked at You" - The Doors
the wendy section officially begins!
this song is the very start of their relationship. making eye contact for the very first time, their very first meeting. they're too young to truly understand what romance is but old enough to feel love at first sight. there's an instant spark between them, an instant connection, a sudden desire to get closer. they're doomed, there's no going back
stan has always been pulled in wendy's direction. he doesn't quite know what to do once he's actually with her but that never stops him from wanting to be close to her. no matter how much time passes he'll never truly get over her
i looked at you
you looked at me
i smiled at you
you smiled at me
and we're on our way
no we can't turn back, babe
"Teenage Kicks" - The Undertones
one of the greatest songs about young love ever written. this is all about stan's relationship with wendy once they hit puberty and their teenage hormones start kicking in
i love the juvenile desperation on display here, it perfectly captures what it's like to be a horny teenager. definitely a song that fits my image of teenage stan's relationship with wendy. he needs excitement and he needs it bad!
i'm gonna call her on the telephone
have her over 'cause i'm all alone
i need excitement oh i need it bad
and it's the best i've ever had
"Train in Vain" - The Clash
another song about feeling trapped but this time it's wendy feeling trapped. meanwhile stan is desperately clinging onto her, trying to prevent her from leaving him. stan always takes it really hard when wendy breaks up with him or when he's afraid she's going to. this song is a great representation of that heartbroken desperation to keep a romantic relationship while the other person pulls away
it's undeniable that wendy loves stan. she gives him a another chance no matter how many times he messes up. i think part of why she always goes back to him is because she's always hoping that maybe this will be the time he commits to becoming a better boyfriend. her 'i can't fix you' note from the skankhunt arc always stuck with me. she wants to fix him, to help him change for the better, but she's let down time and time again
you say you stand by your man
so tell me something i don't understand
you said you love me, and that's a fact
and then you left me, said you felt trapped
well, some things you can explain away
but the heartache's in me 'til this day
"All I Think About Now" - Pixies
the bridge between the wendy section and the kyle section!
a big theme in this playlist is change, both welcome and unwelcome. this song is all about learning to live with a changed relationship despite how painful it is. that fits stan's relationships with wendy and kyle so well. he's often very stuck in the past when it comes to the two of them. he wants things to go back to the way they were when life was still simple and cool
i try to think about tomorrow
but i always think about the past
about the things that didn’t last
if i could go to the beginning
then for sure i would be another way
make it better for today
"Fuck the World" - The Queers
the kyle section officially begins!
this is a great song for stan, it's apathetically miserable in a way that perfectly captures stan's boredom, pessimism, and underlying anger at the world/society, as well as his desire for connection to get through it all. i can definitely imagine stan listening to this song. of all the songs on this playlist, i think this is the one he'd enjoy listening to the most aside from 'all apologies'
despite the title, this is a love song. it's all about seeking out companionship with someone who understands you to help you get through the misery of teenage life. kyle is that person for stan, his presence always makes stan feel a bit less hopeless
me and you will walk around so pointlessly
smashing things, jacked up on way too much caffeine
i'm really going nowhere
i hate this shitty life
fuck the world i'm hanging out with you tonight
"Stay Free" - The Clash
despite this being a story song i think it fits stan and kyle very well. the evolution of the relationship depicted in the song, two rebellious childhood best friends moving down different paths in life but still reconnecting in the end, is about as stan and kyle as you can get. i imagine it from kyle's pov, it's him thinking about stan
whenever i hear the opening verse i can perfectly imagine a little montage of stan and kyle fooling around. this is them! this is exactly them!
we met when we were in school
never took no shit from no one, we weren't fools
the teacher says we're dumb
we're only having fun
this verse at the end of the song reminds me of the ending to the return of covid special, stan arriving back from mars to greet kyle at the reunion. but it can work in any situation where they're older. things have changed, they're adults and no longer inseparable, but they're still close friends and kyle is happy to see stan whenever he's in town
'cause years have passed and things have changed
and i move anyway i wanna go
and i'll never forget the feeling i got
when i heard that you'd got home
an' i'll never forget the smile on my face
'cause i knew where you would be
an' if you're in the crown tonight
have a drink on me
"Always Gold" - Radical Face
the final song on the playlist and another that i see as being from kyle's pov. just like with 'stay free' this song reminds me of the covid specials, stan leaving south park behind while kyle stays and awaits his return. but it fits any situation where they're older and stan has left south park. it goes over the life of two brothers that eventually separate due to their differing desires but keep each other in their hearts. that's stan and kyle's future in a nutshell
every single lyric fits them so painfully well that it was hard to choose which verse i should highlight. eventually i settled on the final verse of the song as i think it sums things up perfectly. kyle's inability to fix or even really deal with stan's depression, their conflicting desires for their lives, the confirmation that despite everything they'll still be there for each other. i think it's a great ending to the playlist. stan may go places where the people who love him can't follow but they'll be there for him when he returns
all my life, i've never known where you've been
there were holes in you, the kind that i could not mend
and i heard you say, right when you left that day
does everything go away?" yeah, everything goes away
but i'm going to be here 'til forever, so just call when you're around
