As a fellow pro-lifer I am curious to know where you stand on topics of pregnancy prevention (birth control) I have for years refused to use bc because of my beliefs. A recent miscarriage has me thinking i need to take time off from trying in order to allow my body,mind and heart to heal. I still want to share myself with my husband, however. Quite the quandary..
I am so sorry to hear about the hurt you have gone through. It is definitely something that should bring you much closer to God.
I am not a married individual yet and I am abstaining from sexual activity until marriage. So I cannot tell you from experience what my opinion or view is. But I can tell you that I have made a decision not to use any birth control pills when I am married. One reason is because it is a very unnatural thing to put into our bodies. Blessed Augustine of Hippo even refers to using pregnancy prevention such as this as resorting to ” extravagant methods as to use poisonous drugs to secure barrenness” (On Marriage and Concupiscence: Book I, Chapter 17). Birth control pills mess with the hormonal functions of the body. It is also carcinogenic. That, right off the bat, says that it doesn’t belong in your body.
There are other ways to reduce the likelihood of pregnancy. Take it from a more natural biological perspective. One way that I would consider using is the Rhythm Method http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/rhythm-method/MY01003 . It should help you find opportunities to share yourself with your husband. Do research and ask your doctor to give you more information about it, if you don’t know about it already.
I also came across the Standard Days Method which may actually be easier than the Rhythm Method. Check it out: http://www.epigee.org/guide/sdm.html . I only just discovered this, and it seems preferable to the Rhythm Method.
Also keep in mind that there are different levels of intimacy you can have with your husband. It doesn’t always have to reach the extreme. Let your husband know what is weighing on your heart so you can work together on healing your body, mind, and heart. It is a joint effort, and I think that just as sharing yourself with him is one way to strengthen your bond with him, that bond will also strengthen from struggling together and helping each other. It is not something to do on your own.
Hope this answer helped! God bless!