Finally got round to writing a uk4 fic, I needed to write dakota I love her so much and I wanted to project the horrors of uni
Also ortegas uk2 uni au is a big influence on me
Dakota didn’t need to say much, gesturing to her laptop with a half-written essay and limply gesturing to herself.
“You’re stressed and feel self-critical?” Starlet tried to pry some understanding out of a silent Dakota, watching as they sat down on the bed and immediately pulled their legs in to hide their face.
She nodded, flopping onto her side as Starlet came to sit down next to her. The hand that was supportively placed on her back was enough to break the dam. Tears started pouring out faster than her brain could process, broken sobs working their way out of her shaking body, rattling with the intensity of letting it all out.
“Darling, come here,” Starlet spoke up again, pulling Dakota into her arms and letting them release all the pent-up emotions.
Dakota couldn’t hold back the flood of emotion that overcame her despite her attempts. Every cry came with a shuddering breath that made her shake evermore. Everything around her was starting to fade as the anxiety began to bubble up, the only feelings she was aware of being the sickness pooling in her stomach and the muffled sound of Starlet’s attempts to comfort her.
“It’s okay, I’m here. You’re okay.” Her words were like a dull blade, barely cutting through the layers of panic, though Dakota appreciated the attempt. Perhaps she would laugh at the fact she could barely hear her at another time. Being soft-spoken was a death sentence against someone whose thoughts raced louder than any words could.
Starlet refocused her efforts, realising the blonde couldn’t hear her. Her hands did the talking, one running through their golden locks as the other wrapped supportively around their waist.
It seemed to be working, as Dakota’s shuddering breaths started to even out, slowly but surely beginning to come down from her panic. She focused as much as she could on the feeling of Starlet stroking her hair, leaning her head into her hand as the tightness in her chest began to relax, the sadness dissipating into a wave of calmness that washed over her.
Her relaxation was short-lived though, as she moved to look at Starlet the floodgates opened again, unable to stop herself from crying. Something about the concern on her face just broke the last line of defense Dakota had managed to build up.
“One of those days?” She asked, Dakota only nodding in response, unable to trust her mouth being able to form noises that weren’t just sobs.
Her tears kept coming, though she had enough control now to curl up against Starlet, letting the smaller girl wrap her arms around her and burying herself in her arms.
Dakota knew better than to try and explain everything, whenever the words tried to come out all that would happen would be more tears and any attempts at words fell to unintelligible noises.
How was she supposed to explain it all? Dysphoria was a strange beast, rearing its head at the most inopportune times and leaving her unable to function any time she could see her own reflection at its worst.
The stress of deadlines wasn’t helping, pouring hours over research about topics any sane person would find boring began to warp her mind. Dakota couldn’t help but wonder who would ever like someone like them, someone so broken and unable to see anything good in themself. Let alone someone whose only real skill seemed to be facts about rock formations.
The geography degree wasn’t doing her any favours.
Suddenly an idea struck Starlet, moving one of her arms from around Dakota to get something up on her phone. They whined at the lack of contact, burrowing deeper against her. The sound of a familiar song made Dakota pause, erupting in muffled laughter when she realised what it was.
“Your response to me having a breakdown was to play animal crossing music?” Whether it was laughter or sobs was unknown to Starlet but to hear Dakota at the very least able to speak was enough for her.
“It worked didn’t it?” Her voice cut through Dakota’s chaotic brain to deliver some sense of calm. It wasn’t an instant cure but she was helping.
“I guess so.” They let out another soft laugh, smiling hopefully at Starlet as if she was the only person who’d ever mattered to her.
That look was the one that always melted her, the big warm blue eyes that crinkled slightly when Dakota geniunely smiled, the wide grin she always did and the way her head tilted back slightly despite the fact she was taller. It was impossible to look at that face and not be immediately enamoured.
“You really are beautiful, you know that?” Starlet spoke almost in a whisper, as if voicing her thoughts any louder would send this gentle atmosphere crashing down.
Dakota’s face flushed, she could feel her cheeks heating up at the way the comment came out of nowhere but she’d be lying if she said it didn’t make her feel better.
In response Starlet just shot her an amused look, waiting for the comfortable silence to wane before her face shifted, a sly grin on her lips.
Dakota didn't take notice until she felt a sudden poke in her side, letting out a high pitched squeal in reaction and staring wide eyed at the blonde who couldn’t hold back her laughter .
“Dakota.” At the smug tone of voice, Dakota retaliated, throwing herself at the smaller girl and tickling her sides. Starlet squirmed, erupting into giggles that just made Dakota laugh even more.
She moved one hand to grasp Starlet's wrists as she prepared to strike back, moving her focus to her stomach as starlet hunched over with a cacophony of laughter that made Dakota smile ever harder.
Alas, Starlet pretty easily managed to wriggle her way out of the taller girl’s grasp as she let up, wasting no time in bolting upright and tackling Dakota down onto the bed, holding her down with one hand as the other continued to go for her side.
The high pitched giggles turned into screeching laughter from Dakota, knowing well that her flatmates could certainly hear and would grill her for it later. Though her mind couldn’t focus on that too heavily as Starlet continued her assault.
What felt like hours, though was more likely minutes, Starlet stayed atop her and tickling her sides as Dakota flailed but never got close to throwing her off.
Eventually she subsided, huffing as she flopped down beside Dakota.
“Thank you,” Dakota turned to face Starlet, both of their faces red from the laughter. That was the only reason, totally not the close proximity they were at. Had nothing to do with it.
“No worries, I couldn’t have you being sad now could I?”
“You’re so stupid.” The warmth in her tone contradicted her words as Dakota pulled Starlet into her arms, leaning her head atop of hers and letting out a content hum.
“Mmmm, can’t wait to hear what Danny has to say about how loudly you were giggling.”
“Oh god, I’m not going to live this down for a while.” Dakota shuddered as she realised her most boisterous flatmate was definitely home right now and had absolutely heard everything.
“And I’m going to love watching them grill you for hours on end.” Starlet smirked, snickering as Dakota lightly swatted at her.
“No you’re just too nice”
“Am not!” The sheer childishness in Dakota’s tone made Starlet laugh once again, shaking her head to attempt to form a response.
“You cried when you thought you stepped on a snail,”
“I didn’t want to hurt him!” Dakota cringed at the memory. It was dark, how was she supposed to know? It was wet and she heard a crunch. It made logical sense that it could be a poor defneseless snail that she killed.
“It was a leaf.” Starlet stated simply, curling further into the blonde’s side.
“Oh my god shut up!” Dakota couldn’t help but laugh more, at least she had one person who could cheer her up on her darkest days.
