hi! I read your 8000 layers of inyun yesterday. so it took me a whole day to digest it. Originally i was going to comment but realized i have too much to say so i went ahead and just did an ask, i hope you dont mind! This left me so breathless so i hope my review makes sense. I also apologize for the length but to be fair, your wonderful writing did this to me! i havent seen the movie yet but after reading this i just might. i was initially worried this will turn to something like a cheating situation or close but wow it went deeper than that. even if y/n is in a happy and healthy marriage, theres that grief over that inyun and wondering if a little more time with jeonghan would have been 8000.
The layers of this story is so beautifully laid out in details and the legend of inyun. As someone who had moved countries alot, i am so glad you captured the complexity of leaving home. From not understanding why y/n liked tompkins square park initially, the statue of liberty, and being that person that was always meant to "leave". The way jeonghan poses questions and seems to both understand y/n and also not is such a good take on long distance friendships. I like how its jumping between knowing each other so well but also knowing that you may not bc of the distance and the fact they havent spoken in years. I love how reading this story made me feel melancholic, hopeful, and also satisfied. Melancholic because of the what could have beens, hopeful because sometimes the differences and distances won't fully sever ones connections with each other (in this case inyun if im understanding it correctly) and satisfied because each character had their own maturity and understanding over each other. That mattered to me cause well, drama is very prominent nowadays, no? Is it weird to say that they acted the way 30 year olds should? jhgkdf so this was great! My favorite parts: you don’t remind him to do so once you finally find your keys. instead you slip off your old, faded sneakers, drop your keys on the counter in the lime green dish you made in a pottery class two years ago, and greet him in the kitchen, kissing the side of his chin and reaching over his head to turn the exhaust fan on. he kisses your forehead as an apology, or at least he tries but you’ve already moved and his lips end up catching on the corner of your left eye.
i love the tiny details that are a testament to a marriage.
but beneath the straightforward request feels like a million subliminal ones. like he wants you to prove to him that you’ve made a life worth living here. like he wants to gallivant around new york telling you about a country that used to be home and asking you what would have happened if you didn’t go all those years ago.
ngl, this hits close to home again bc when you leave home, people will always wonder the same thing.
there used to be oceans and countries and cultures and decades standing between you and him, but somehow now, all of that has compressed into four squares of broken concrete. you were never very good at maths. jeonghan, the one who comforted you whenever you cried over it, knows that best. but even you know that there is no way 20 years can turn into 20 feet.
this was just so damn poetic, i actually had to pause and BREATHE.
and the call ends in 4 minutes.
this was really short but captures how your world can turn upside down in just a few minutes.
“i came to see you.”
you don’t take your eyes off his. what is it they say about eyes again? windows to the soul?
“but you and joshua.”
you flinch.
“you guys have those layers of inyun.”
“all 8000,” you whisper back to him, like the world might burst if you spoke any louder.
its like toeing between a confession or congratulation sdkjhfdkjgh
“how many layers do we have?”
a number hangs off the tip of your tongue. but the world will burst if you say it outloud. so you don’t. for the world, for yourself, for joshua.
y/n was very real for this and honestly not everything has to be said. i really love this part because it shows y/n's integrity and also her wisdom.
“you’re it for me.” joshua tells you quietly. “you make my life so much bigger.”
my gosh, the way i nearly cried here. WHY SETTLE FOR I LOVE YOU WHEN THERE'S THISSSSSS???!!!
“but i-” he hesitates here, mouth opening and closing like he can’t decide what kind of conversation he wants this to be. “it’s like there’s this whole portion of your brain that will always be out of reach. like i can see it there in the distance, but i can’t get to it.”
this makes total sense but i cant explain it. its like you want to know every version of someone before they came to be what you know but you know you can't but theres still that grief.
“i didn’t think liking your husband would hurt this much.” (almost). “i can tell he really loves you.”
bc how can you not like him? it def hurts to like him bc that means he's already won anyway.
“yesterday, you asked me why i didn’t try to keep talking back then.” jeonghan continues. “the truth i learned here is that it wouldn’t have mattered how hard i tried even if i did. you were always going to leave because you’re you. and i liked you because you’re you. and who you are is someone who leaves.”
THIS DID MAKE ME TEARY EYED. I was told the exact last sentence before. And i understand how you can't really help it..life is so big and for some, life outside your home country is even bigger.
“but for joshua,” jeonghan says, eyes scanning across the bar, staring at every bartender and every customer before finally, finally, landing on you, “you’re someone who stays.”
no words. really. you blew my mind.
“i haven’t been that kid for a long time now,” you frown, watching jeonghan’s pupils dart back and forth between yours, “but they still existed. they were still real.”
this is very important bc connections and who you once were in the past are very much real...they just don't die because its past. This does circle back to the inyun theme too.
he smiles. and you feel something break apart in your heart.
“i’ll see you then.”
in another life, jeonghan is more than just a series of goodbyes. but in this one, he gets in the uber, and you don’t imagine seeing him again. you don’t think you will. because for the first time in this life, you're not the one that left–he was.
In another liiiifeeee, I would be youuuurrr giiiirrllll
“i’m sorry,” you finally say, before falling into his arms. the sob that’s been waiting in the bottom of your soul for the past 20 years comes bursting out of your throat. you cry into your husband's shoulder. you feel the weight of all your past lives and all your future ones like they aren't in the past or in the future, like they're now beside you begging you to imagine what could’ve been and what was.
joshua holds the back of your head. he doesn’t say anything. he doesn’t need to. it’s all been said before. instead he kisses the corner of your eye and takes you home.
at this point i posted the whole fic. this ending? damn. I really had to take a break from my phone. This was wayyyyy to fitting of an end. I loved joshua's response and the corner of the eye? way to circle back! It's the grief over something you can't truly control but also the happiness of where you are now. I'm not sure how you wanted the end to be if its like a missed connection between jeonghan and y/n or if its grieving over what could have been, or the hope that maybe in the next one its them, or that joshua had always been it but theres that almost with jeonghan. Or it could be all of the above, still this was beautifully written. I apologize for the long review but i just had to express my awe and love for what you've written! Please don't feel obligated to reply just as long or at all! I just wanted to let you know how much your work stuck with me. Thank you for sharing this with us <3 I hope you have the bestest day ever! P.S This unreleased song of woozi fits too! What Kind of Future
i don't mind you leaving this ask at all and the length is more than fine, it's encouraged even!! when i got this ask, i started scrolling and gasped when i saw how long it was. and not in a bad way but in a-i can't believe anyone would take the time to write all this out-way. so thank you thank you thank you!!!
i am going to put the rest of my response under the read more :)) (warning my response is very long lol)
