do you guys ever wonder if hannibal never for a moment was scared when will threw them off the cliff because those last moments were the closest he'd ever gotten to hold will
Something so important about how Rhaenyra and Alicent bicker like teenage girls at their meetings, both at the sept and on Dragonstone. They don’t have to be paragons of virtue or unflappable queens when it’s just them. They can shed all the facades and just be themselves around one another, even while they’re fighting on opposite sides of a war, just for a moment
remembers that marcy's parents probably think she's a runaway remembers that they probably think she just ran away and might even think she's dead and they might think that she got her friends to run away with her and
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* ryan destiny, cis woman + she/her | you know kira blake, right? they’re twenty four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ever? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to babooshka by kate bush like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole lazily stretched out in a ray of light, daisy shaped irises and daisy chain braids, performing an intricate dance to move the ocean’s waves thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 22, est, they/them )
* natalia dyer, nonbinary + she/they | you know philomena carmichael, right? they’re twenty, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a day? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to the leanover by life without buildings like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole wind whipping around your hair, the gentleness of decomposition, a naked blur dancing around the flames of an everlasting fire thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is april 20th, so they’re a taurus, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 22, est, they/them )
@obligeas said: He trusts Suzaku. Lelouch trusts Suzaku so much it hurts when his friend turns the gun on him and attempts to make him into his enemy. Why can't you see -- we're supposed to be on the same side, you pathetic fool. I hate that you fight for Britannia. For her. Lelouch is jealous of Suzaku's loyalty to the now-dead Euphemia; he's accepting that, slowly but surely. "Open your damn eyes, Suzaku! Do you want to be treated like a dog?!" (i guess end of R1) / who exactly are you to talk!
Angry.
Very motherfucking angry.
It’s a feeling that still eats away at Suzaku, rots his insides like an acid. Corrosive. And in the anger, there’s something more tame. A bitter sadness and disappointment. The harsh sting of betrayal that feels like a knife twisting in his gut ( a feeling that makes him wince – he remembers his father and the knife in tiny hands, the blood that coated his fingers then and has remained with him for seven years ). It’s an amalgam of emotion that makes him nauseated, lips pulled in a hard frown as he keeps the barrel pointed in Lelouch’s direction. As he keeps emerald eyes narrowed, brows knitted together in the sorrow, the defeat he feels.
It’s not a defeat in the sense that he’s losing this battle– no, he’s the one who will leave here unscathed. But it’s his own defeat for lying to himself for so long. For denying the possibility that Lelouch was Zero and opting to trust time and time again in his best friend. But he knew, deep down. He always knew. Since he was freed from his almost execution by the Black Knights. Since he was offered the chance to join them, turning the opportunity down because it wasn’t in line with his own agenda ( and he still had his court martial to attend ). But time and time again, he denied it.
( There’s no way Lelouch could be Zero, right? Was he really that willing to kill his family? Why would he resort to such a method? Why is he lying to everyone– to me, to Nunnally? )
But he couldn’t keep lying to himself anymore. He couldn’t keep telling himself over and over and over again that his best friend for the last seven years was the terrorist known as Zero- the infamous leader of the Black Knights. That he was the one that murdered Prince Clovis ( which he was framed for! ), that he is the reason for the increased number of rebellions that break out, the reason so many of his own blood has given their life and died for such a cause, that he killed Euphemia who wanted nothing more than to help them.
He can feel his hands shaking despite how hard he’s trying to stand still and remain calm. He can feel the slight tremor in his shoulders, a result of the anger that threatens to consume him and eat him alive like a flame. But he’s trying to handle this as calmly as he can despite the raging inferno that is his emotions but he can feel himself tearing apart at the seams the further and further this goes on. The longer that Lelouch keeps trying to justify himself, the moment that calls for a truce.
An offer Suzaku is quick to discard, striking a match to the idea.
( If this all wasn’t some kind of... some kind of game to him, he would’ve joined with Euphie! None of this would be happening! None of this would have to happen and— )
For a brief moment, it feels like Suzaku is being stabbed. A sharp pain in his gut, enough to steal the breath from his lungs– eyes wide as he stares hard at the unmasked terrorist before him. What... was he saying? What the fuck was he saying?! What could Lelouch possibly know about the time he’s spent in the military– Suzaku knows this! He knows how he’s treated, he’s dealt with it long enough! It isn’t any sort of news to him at all! He’s aware of how he’s used, he knows he almost died on Shikine Island and he would’ve gladly accepted that if it meant Zero went down with him too.
But he didn’t. They’re both still living.
Suzaku knows of the way he’s been reprimanded. Of the way he’s been treated because of who he is. He’s not that stupid that he doesn’t see it– since day one he was nothing but a tool, just another pawn on the chessboard. Laying it out clearly for him doesn’t change that fact.
Yet there’s something, something in the way that Lelouch snaps at him that hurts to hear it. Like he doesn’t get it but Suzaku isn’t even given a chance to retort his claim. Not when it feels like that knife sunk deep in his belly is twisted sharp when Lelouch snaps again, claims it’s all in the past. The past? The past?
“You killed your father, didn’t you?”
The trembling he’d felt in his shoulders feels like too much to keep control of now. His hands are shaking terribly now, lips quivering in the shock at such the exclamations, the question asked of him. The echo of Lelouch’s words ringing loud in his ears about finding time to regret later. To open his eyes, unless he wants to keep being treated like a dog. There’s a hiccup in the pilot’s breath, a shaky step in attempt to readjust his footing lest he want his knees to buckle beneath him.
( How could Lelouch say that? How could he–? What does he know? What does he know? What does he– )
“What the fuck could you possibly know!?” He snaps. There’s nothing that can possibly keep him together now. Not the attempts that he’s tried to keep the rope holding him up from fraying. There’s no rational thought now– there’s no ‘think of all routes and outcomes then choose’ to be done here. He’s angry. He’s so fucking angry and there’s no way of calming him down, “You– Don’t try to fucking tell me you understand!”
Hopeless! He’s hopeless!
In his rage, he remembers the boy he knew. The cold look that was in his eyes the day he and Nunnally had been sent off, leaving him alone. He remembers how he looked, the anger in his voice and Suzaku remembers how he couldn’t say a word then– how he couldn’t agree with Lelouch because of his own grief and anger, the very war he started inside of himself. He’s not sure when he started crying, feeling the tear roll down his cheek as he tries to steady his trembling hand to aim his gun straight.
The shaking is only making him angrier.
Lelouch’s insistence in trying to get an answer out of him makes it worse.
“Nothing that happens from now is any of your business!” The look on his best friend’s face hurts, the sheer disbelief that he would do this. But it’s been that way for months with Suzaku, telling himself time and time again that Lelouch couldn’t be because he believed in him. Yet here he is, in front of his own lie to himself and Suzaku knows what needs to happen.
He can’t let Lelouch– no– he can’t let this demon live.
The sound of his own name echoes in his ears when Lelouch pulls his own gun on him, desperation evident in the look on his face and Suzaku meets him in the middle of all this animosity with his own shout, “LELOUCH!”
