hey everyone! thank you so so much for your support over Circles! i recently got back from an out-of-town trip and i am so grateful for everyone's positive (ironic since it's angst i know) comments and reactions
i am glad to announce that part 2 is officially in the works :) still have no approximate date when i'll finish it since i usually just write out of hobby but it'll definitely be out there someday somehow lol
ps. part 2 will be about mydei 👀 see you in the cosmos! ⭐💜
Greetings everyone, I regret to inform you as per the announcement title, CIRCLES PT 2 has been cancelled. I apologize for the expectations that this may have caused, especially to the people who asked to be tagged once the pt 2 was up. I will be elaborating as to why I cancelled the fic below, feel free to read my yap sesh abt the cancelled fic if you are ever interested:) (Yes this means SPOILER ALERT for the fic I wrote! If you haven’t read it yet and are interested, you can read it here)
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As I said, the Phainon x Fem!Reader Circles pt 2 has been cancelled/discontinued. It really wasn’t exactly an easy decision and I've been contemplating on how I'll be announcing it.
I also tagged the people who were waiting for a pt 2 so that you guys are informed (i'm really sorry to keep your hopes up T_T)
And I really didn’t want to put the efforts I made to waste so I’ll be sharing some of my ideas from when I was writing pt 2.
I’ve always made sure to write fics that I will enjoy reading, I do firmly believe that you need to be happy with what you’re writing before you post/publish it, and to be fair it is quite ironic as I thrive on writing angst fics. But the deal with angst is that you enjoy the emotional turmoil it causes, but in the case of the pt 2 of the Phainon Circles fic, I genuinely cannot see myself finishing it.
I enjoyed writing pt 2 actually! I had a draft of 3.5k words before I decided to drop it (which I will be elaborating on further later). Looking back at it, it’s lowkey a bum since I had thousands of words invested in it already. I did make a spotify playlist for it too ahaha…
Yep! Those were some of the songs I had added that were supposed to be made public alongside my post date of the pt 2 but judging from what i’m writing rn weeeeelllll…..
Going back to the angst, the plot of pt 2 was actually supposed to be heavier than pt 1, reader struggling to forget about Phainon after moving out of Okhema City and into Castrum Kremnos which was supposed to be a neighboring city, a couple of hours away from Okhema City.
The focus of pt 2 was on Mydeimos, who was supposed to be the reader’s co-worker after moving cities and jobs to move forward in life without Phainon. And apparently Mydei also being the reader’s next door neighbor, so it was quite the plot lmao.
Other than that, Mydei did fell in love w the reader but obviously reader wasn’t over Phainon, Mydeimos was supposed to be the relief after the emotional storm and heartbreak that Phainon did to the reader. Realistically, it wouldn’t be easy to move on from someone you’ve been with since you were a kid, disregarding the romance, you’ve known Phainon for YEARS way before the spotlight when it was just the two of you in those wheat fields of Aedes Elysiae, and this entire concept was very grounding for the fic so I did lean on it a lot throughout my drafts.
Phainon in the fic wasn’t exactly safe, because guess what, I planned for him to leave the spotlight, move back to Aedes Elysiae, build a house and prepare to wait for the reader (like a certain romance movie…) he was really ready to leave everything behind just to have the reader back. And while that was happening, reader spends time with Mydei all the time, the guy basically helping the reader to move on.
So here’s portion of my draft that i’ve written for the specific part where reader asked Mydei why he’s still there despite knowing that the reader is still not over Phainon:
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“Why do you love me?”
The question hangs heavy in the air, its vulnerability makes Mydeimos ponder — seemingly trying to ask the sky for an answer, refusing to meet your gaze as he echoes the phrase, testing its weight on his tongue. “Why do I like you?”
His lips emit a humorous chuckle, it seems like all he could do in this situation right now is to give you an answer that even he himself couldn't explain why.
“I just do.” Such a simple answer followed the gaze he tenderly gave you.
Ridiculous. You murmured, how could anyone even like you in such a state? Disheveled, broken, empty, it's pathetic — pitiful, even. Yet this man seems to have ignored all of these obvious qualities and continued to hold your gaze like you're his world.
Don't fool yourself with such looks, Phainon looked at you like that too, now what happened?
“Don't look at me like that.” Words snap out before you can stop them. You turn your head away sharply; staring intently at the river bank just to escape the terrifying care his eyes held.
Self-consciousness slowly eats you alive. It's sudden, panicky, worrisome even. It's been so long—way too long—since someone has looked at you the way Mydei is looking at you right now.
Without the ugly past you held, a history that kept you in shackles, and a man you cried yourself to sleep for after everything else. Despite carrying such heavy things, Mydei gave you such a loving gaze that you didn't even know anyone could still hold.
“I'm literally an asshole, Dei.” Finally, you gave him a glance. Your lips quivered slightly, exhaling as you looked away once more. “I tried to have sex with you just to forget the pain…”
Memories of that night were still vivid, everything was honestly perfectly fine, but of course your tears ruined everything.
“I can't even kiss you without thinking of…” You trailed off, the words struggled to come out of your mouth.
“Phainon?”
Mydei raises his left arm and gently pats you in the back. “I know.”
“But I don't mind.” He chuckles, snaking his hand on your hair and ruffling it. That same gruff smile still plastered in his face despite the heavy atmosphere.
“So what if you talk about Phainon? I'll still love you.”
His words were oddly comforting, you can't exactly remember anymore when was the last time someone said they'll care regardless — let alone still loving you despite everything.
You can't help but pity Mydei even just for a sliver, why would he go to such lengths to love you, even without the certainty that you'll love him back?
Everything still reminds you of Phainon, but he's here offering himself to be your sponge, your shield, anything you will need.
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Aaaaand (unfortunately) that’s where the turmoil started… Half of my brain was telling me that Mydeimos being the endgame really makes everything better, also because I did say it was supposed to be a Mydeimos x Reader fic for pt 2! But on the other hand…
I seriously wished I didn’t think of Phainon leaving everything behind for reader because OH BOY did that spark the second thoughts in my brain.
“Oh but Phainon was ready to leave everything behind because what does fame mean to someone who lost the very reason as to why the fame existed in the first place?”“Huh but Mydeimos risked not being reciprocated just because he loves the reader so much! He deserves to be endgame!”“But Phainon was ready to change, second chances are beautiful!”“But Mydeimos loved the reader without having to change anything!”“Well Phainon loved the reader first! And if we’re talking about Mydeimos risking everything then he deserves better!”Yeah so that was my two inner monologues arguing for WEEKS.
So I decided to finally put it to rest and cancel the fic as a whole.
I would have loved to finish it but thinking about either of the two being the ending, it didn’t exactly bring much satisfaction to me. Reinstating that the very first reason that I write is because it makes me happy, and if I don’t enjoy what I am writing, nor am I happy with the outcome of the story, I really just had to let it go.
“Then why didn’t you just make an ending where the reader didn’t end up with anyone? Or two separate endings?”The idea was nice but it didn’t exactly satisfy me. Right, I could’ve just made different endings but it didn’t sit right with me. Neither of the possible endings sat right with me, so here I am, yapping about the creative process I had when I was writing the fic.
I really had a hard time having to articulate the sorrow of announcing the discontinuation of this fic, I loved writing it but I just can’t seem to fit the right puzzle for any ending, I also didn’t want to post a fic that I didn’t wholeheartedly put my sweat and tears into, afterall fanfic writing is a hobby that I absolutely loved since I was young.
Moving forward, I do plan on making more fics about Phainon and Mydeimos! Sadly, the pt 2 of CIRCLES will be discontinued. Thank you for your continued support and I will see you in the cosmos! 💜💫
-Astra
taglist (that was supposed to be fore the ppl waiting for pt 2 i'm so sorry guys T_T): @violetisreadinghush @illuminyx @maya2848 @vernith @firefliesoul-owo
✦ although most of the fics that i write are SFW, i will still be making NSFW fics, i strongly advise minors to proceed with caution.
✦ please do not pressure me when it comes to writing fics, i do not follow a proper posting schedule and will be posting according to my own terms. (i do this as a hobby)
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[ DONE READING! WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO NEXT? ]
Hey everyone! I'll be moving the blog to my main @cosmicalastra, posts in this blog will be archived and will be reuploaded there, including fics, and my masterlist. Leave a follow there and see you in the cosmos! ⭐💜
