sometimes you have to choose pain, but weighing the pros and cons. you can choose the pain of being lonely or the pain of being stuck with a toxic relationship. you can choose the mortification of asking for something or the discomfort of never asking and maybe regretting it. it's not always like there's a perfect right choice either; maybe that toxic relationship mends over time, maybe the thing you were scared about asking for wasn't worth it for you ever. different person, different needs. pay attention to your overall well-being at all times as well as to the people around you (go with your gut for sure, but also do remember we are not objective especially about ourselves and our actions don't happen in a vacuum). you have to commit to a choice since everything takes time, but it's also worth knowing that you never have to be stuck in a mold that's not for you especially if it's weighing heavily on you negatively. always weigh the pros and cons AND your emotional wants
one tangible way i applied this is i have come to terms with the fact that i want a quiet yet meaningful life, as opposed to being ambitious and wildly successful. i had to spend years adjusting my expectations after my health started to affect my energy levels and how much i can work, but i also know now that i'm truly at peace when i'm with my loved ones, doing my hobby, working to do better, and just with enough money to feel safe and not worry constantly, and i won't be missing out if i don't live the other high stakes high rewards life i used to envision for myself