I finally got the chance to watch some Sofia the First: Royal Magic today, and firstly MORE FARHAD! THEY SAID HIS NAME RIGHT! (For reference, I'm Iranian and Prince Farhad is my boy.) Secondly, "The Tippity Tap Dance" called me out. This episode was a personal attack on me.
I'm much older than Zane, but I can acutely relate to what he goes through here. Being talented at something all your childhood, taking pride in it, making that competence an integral part of who you are, and then things get more advanced and the work catches up to you. Suddenly it doesn't come naturally anymore. The skill you've staked your self-worth on starts letting you down. And oh boy, do I recognise how Zane reacts to that.
He expects to learn the new dance instantly in one lesson because he always has before. He's so ashamed to be struggling at all that he doesn't know how to admit it, which makes Sofia feel like she's the only one struggling. (That's a very good plot point and reminder for me. Asking for help is a way of connecting with people! Vulnerability lets you be there for others!) He calls himself a "terrible dancer" even though he's still great at all the other dances he knows, because all he can focus on is this one failure - a totally normal stage of learning. But not normal for him. He can't accept that it's okay to make mistakes and have difficulty. To him, not being perfect at His Thing means that he is a failure.
So he resorts to using magic to cheat within the first day, despite having until the end of the week to learn the dance for the performance and more lessons ahead for precisely that reason; the kids were never expected to master it right away. Because he's not used to needing time and patience and discipline to succeed in this field. He doesn't know how to practice and slowly, painstakingly improve, or and he doesn't have the courage, resilience and flexibility to try again, or reach out for support.
This is part of what people mean when they talk about the challenges of growing up as a "gifted kid". When you internalise that doing something very well without much effort is a core pillar of your identity, and then that pillar cracks as life inevitably gets harder, you don't have the skills to cope! Practically or emotionally! You didn't learn them! You never had to! Instead you have unrealistic expectations for yourself that fuck up your entire self-image, and asking for help feels like a crime.
And then one day you're an autistic young adult at university realising that you have no idea how to make notes and now you actually need them because the material is too complex to easily remember, and you can be pretty bad at responsible time management after years of not having to study a lot to understand stuff, and you're more independent than ever so the pressure you put on yourself keeps mounting, and you watch a fun kids' show to relax and it punches you in the face.
So. Zane is my boy too now. I also relate to Layla a normal amount, if you were wondering.
