#stfu bird

[shuicheese]

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[shuicheese]

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not to sound like I'm overthinking it or anything but I'm convinced my friends thinks I'm annoying, boring, awkward and unlovable and thus they're probs losing interest in me

feels like I'm getting ignored by those I care about a lot and that's

:-)

please say sike I'm dying-

[shuicheese]

i don’t like how my life is going right now.

   i don’t like how lonely i am irl. 

i think that’s the main reason why i’m ‘depressed’ akjdhfg

[shuicheese]

aaaaaa a a aaaaA A AA A AA AAAAA AAAA A A AAA

[shuicheese]

wanna know what’s great and fun?? being neglected by those who are supposed to love you more than your friends

i don't mean to get bitter or self-centered but   am i really that boring and uninteresting that they decide to speak to me less and less   to show no love or care to stop caring about my poor health and about me in general  and yet expect me to still love them in the end   love them more than anyone i know  after rejecting my love for them too

  why the hell should i even engage a conversation with them or even stay with them if i’m just going to get ignored and feel like i’m not even worth it? like none of my achievements or work is anything to be proud of? why the hell am i even trying and hoping for results kajshdgfgdhsjak 

i’m too tired and i can’t even talk to them about this it's stressful and anxiety-inducing 

[shuicheese]

aksjhdfghdjs idk how i’m still alive my instability is making my body rot

  ofc repeated trauma is also eating me alive but. 

emotions sucks 

   i don’t even know which i prefer; feeling severely depressed and anxious 24/7, or feeling intense mood swings that come out of nowhere, living the fear that your friends despise you/will leave you for good, bitter 24/7 and just- hell

one second i’ll be chill then bam, sudden intense anger, and bitter feelings, no warning wait a few hours, or if i’m “lucky” then a few minutes, then i’m either suddenly depressed/anxious and it feels like i’m going to die 

  the week has just started i think and i already panicked too many times because i felt like one of my closest friends were gonna replace me and- i still have that feeling, makes me wanna push myself to make sure they don’t leave or replace me which sUCKS ALKSJDHFGHDJSKALKSDJFHG

tltr: bpd sucks, emotions sucks, i don’t rlly feel loved, i fear that my close friends will leave me, i’m tired, what witchcraft do i have to perform to be stable, and can we get an f-

[shuicheese]

God help me I'm trying to sleep but my mind is just making me remember abt an old "friend" and her questionable actions

It's been so long and it's not even recent i'm.

[shuicheese]

have you ever looked at your mutual’s art and it looks so cool and then you look at your art and you’re just

:)