#stiff posing

[sokojekeke]

A SLEEPLESS SATURDAY NIGHT IS NOTHING NEW TO ME BECAUSE, SOMEWHERE IN MY BRAIN, I KNOW THE NEXT DAY'S COMING

mspaint irreverent girl again. everyday is a feeling of "a god that will love me will also berate me" that i must move on from.

ive never been religious or had any strong relations to it. kairi's story is still one of the most relatable to me, because of her loss of autonomy and learned devotion/conditioning. the song is (a little) scarily accurate to how untrusting of yourself and others, the pillars that built you once you find yourself on the other side of the hole you dug through. i have a lot of paranoia and anxiety about being seen or found. and that my pain would still be "unjust" in the eyes of my abusers (my father) and community. no amount of escaping is beautiful until the end. until you accept its over, that life is forfeit for a better one. its obvious healing is nonlinear but you rarely hear after the fact how much it sucks to rebuild. kairi i love you ..... every tptm song is fire but irreverent girl will always be very special to meee