Mood: pissed off and upset
Date: June 26 2016 Yesterday was absolutely fabulous, beyond so! I got to go to my cities Pride and spend time with someone I call a friend. We made up after our fight, I don't know if we're actually ever going to be as close as before. But still....journal, anyone reading this useless thing, we're still friends. Also yesterday my best friend who cosplays came back home. And that made the day even more better. But today, today was beyond suckish. I woke up with my skin on fire, my muscles screaming and my body just feeling like shit. This was definitely a wake up call that I'm not in shape. So I know I need to work out but I didn't need to be reminded by my mom. She's been a pain in the side ever since she lost her job. I couldn't put a finger one what it was she was doing until today. Shes been micromanaging me for a while now. Telling me how to spend my money, what to do with my life and basically when to do it. She's also been telling who and who I can't hang out with. That I need to check in with her and where I can and cannot go. I'm 24 years old. She says she's giving me freedom but it's all an illusion. Because she turns around and does stuff like bitch when I wear a shirt she's never paid attention to. Or dye my hair. She asks where I'm going, then tells me it's because she cares. Honestly I hate feeling so suffocated. I can't move out because I can't afford it and I'm going back to school. Everyone in my family thinks it's stupid I work part time. They're awful to me and they say I'm rude and mean to them. I'm always on the verge of tears because they just don't see how rude they are to me. They're always talking about me behind my back or when they think I can't hear them. I don't talk to them anymore because it's always a struggle. They don't want to talk to me, they never want to listen to what I have to say. I'm always depressed when I'm at home. Yet they complain when I hole away in my room. What am I supposed to do? They're never interested in what I do. And when I decide I want to do something they freak out. I'm just so lost. And now I'm finally getting things done by myself yet my mom says I'm not an adult. I just am so angry and upset and lonely. It's frustrating that she can't see I'm an adult doing adult things. Yet she treats me like I'm five. And she always will.