Autism/ADHD Simulation: Rocking
Okay so this is going to be kind of hard to due since I have never explained this before except one to my psychology professor, but I am going to try my best.
So whenever I am overstimulated, I do something I call rocking. It used to be called jumping when I had a mini trampoline in my room, but it’s switched to rocking.
Basically, I will sit on my bed, listen to music with noise canceling headphones, and rock back and forth. I will lose my concept of time for hours upon hours on end.
Here’s the thing: I have a certain narrative that plays in my head. It’s like a movie where something is happening in regards to something I hyper fixate on.
For example, I love the assassins creed ship altamal (Malik Al-Sayf x Altair Ibn-LaHad). Well, I see these characters interacting with Toothless from How to train your dragon and how Toothless changes the dynamic of how the story of assassins creed moves forward.
It doesn’t have to be with Video Games or film, it can be with books and fanfiction as well.
So there is this fanfiction called Run It Again written by xadoheandterra (who is super lovely and you should check out his stuff), which is a story where Altair and Malik raise baby Desmond. Well, since I am hyper fixated on that, I can have toothless be baby Desmonds dragon (like hiccup is replaced by Desmond). Like in HTTYD, everyone in the brotherhood has their own dragon, with Altair and Desmond being the only ones to have Night Furies to show how unique they are (kind of like the fact that they have eagle vision).
Basically, it’s the narrative x whatever character will bring me comfort, be it OC or not.
Sometimes I can put myself in there, other times I don’t. This is how I figured out I was Trans because I can see myself as a man with another man or as a women with another women. I can see myself interacting with certain characters, determine my relationship with them.
What’s more is that, depending on the environment in which this is taking place, I can visualize it with my senses. If I am in the desert, I can feel the heat of the sand and sun as if I was there. If I am in the winter or someplace cold, I can feel the snow and how the cold bites my skin. (It comes in handy when I write fiction)
It only works really well if I have experienced something similar. If not, then immersion is not as real.
I am unsure if anyone else experiences this, but I hope that what I said makes sense
It feels good to write it out honestly.