Feedist Kinktober 2025-5: High Expectations
Your family has had high expectations for you your entire life. You had to get staight As all through school, participate in several extracurriculars including sports and arts, volunteer at least once a month, get a job every summer, and do all your chores. You held it together because you never knew any other way of life. Your parents made sure you knew failure was not an option.
It was no surprise when you got accepted into one of the top universities in the country. The school was far from your hometown so you would only be able to fly back for holidays and week long breaks. You were so excited. This is what you spent your entire life preparing for.
The start of school was fantastic. You got along well with your roommate Nel and other students on your dormitory floor. The campus was beautiful with state-of-the-art amenities. Best of all, classes were engaging in a way high school never was.
Unfortunately, classes were much harder than high school, too. Your previous schooling did nothing to prepare you for the amount of studying and homework you would have to do, on top of the actual classes, nevermind anything else in your life going on. You realised you weren't the best athlete in the school anymore, rather than a big fish in a small pond, you were an average sized fish against ginormous fish in an ocean. There wasn't time for you to volunteer anymore because you had to study all the time. You started having petty arguments with your roommate that would leave you two stewing for days. College life was hard. You missed your family. You missed being good at things. You missed feeling put together. Your grades dipped, as most people's do when they move on to post-secondary, but to you it was devastating. Your parents called to berate you for hours.
Despite the tension with Nel, they came and comforted you after they overheard your parents on the phone. They let you cry on their shoulder as the weight of the world collapsed on your chest.
"Getting 75% on a midterm is not the end of the world," they said as they held you close.
"You don't know my parents. For them, it is," you sniffled back.
They sat you up. "What you need is to relax. To just forget everything for a while and unwind. Things will still be hard after, but you'll have a clearer head and be in a better mood. It'll be easier to handle everything."
You nodded slowly. Downtime is a foreign concept to you as you were never allowed such a thing growing up. Nel seemed to pick up on this. They set up a movie for you to watch together, but you couldn't stop thinking about your grades and how disappointed your parents were. You missed a funny joke and Nel looked at you with concern.
"Clearly this isn't enough. You need to turn your brain off entirely. Have you ever gotten high?"
You stared at them. "Are you kidding? My parents would have flayed me alive if they found out I ever did that."
"Your parents won't find out about this." They pull out a vape and hand it to you. "I prefer to smoke a normal joint but that's not allowed in the dorms."
You take the vape hesitantly. Nel shows you the button you need to press. The sickly sweet vapour stings your throat and makes you cough. Nel rubs your back as you catch your breath.
"It'll take a few minutes to hit. In the meantime, just sit back and relax. I'll go grab some snacks from the vending machine."
They got up from the bed and took a few hits from their vape and as they left the room.
You weren't sure if it was the anticipation of the high, but your head started to feel a little funny almost immediately.
It was definitely starting to hit by the time Nel returned. Your head felt buzzy, and your body had the feeling of when a swing is at its highest point right before it starts swinging back to the ground. The snacks in Nel's arms seemed to glimmer, and you thought you could smell them through their packaging.
Nel dropped the snacks on the bed before grabbing 2 cans of pop from their mini fridge and handing one to you. It didn't occur to you to hesitate, despite growing up in a no-pop household.
The snacks got moved to between the 2 of you and Nel told you to grab whatever you wanted before they started the movie again. You stared at the pile, no idea where to start. You'd never had so much freedom to have such junky snacks before.
You started with pretzels, but found them insanely dry. Nel laughed as you smacked your lips, trying to swallow them down.
"Have a drink," they said. "If you don't like them, I'll finish them. I didn't like them as a munchie snack until recently." You take a sip of pop and hand them the bag.
The rest of the snacks that you chose were hits. The chex mix pieces weren't as dense as the pretzels so they were easier to swallow. Your favourites were the fruit gummies and thr salt and vinegar chips. You'd never really learned to enjoy food before this, or even been allowed to eat such junky snacks, so your mind was blown as the munchies elevated your tastebuds.
Nel handed you the vape throughout the movie which you smoked without thinking. By the end of the movie you were soaring and starving. Unfortunately, all of the snacks were gone. Your tiny tummy was bloated, a feeling you weren't used to. After a lifetime of meticulously eating, this was the first time since you were a child where you ate without care. It felt rebellious. It felt freeing. It felt good.
Nel's own munchies were running rampant, so they graciously went to the campus cafeteria to grab you both some dinner. While you waited you laid back on the bed and lifted up your shirt, admiring the little dome your belly had become. You gently stroked and prodded it, feeling something stir within you.
Nel returned with slices of pizza and brownies. You only managed two slices before tapping out, as it was already more than you would normally eat for dinner. You salivated as you watched Nel finish up the rest, dreaming of the day you could put away a whole pizza by yourself, a desire you didn't know you had until right then.
You had the best sleep of your life that night. Your heavy belly lured you into a food coma while the weed made your fuzzy head drift away softly.
That was the beginning of your undoing. You started getting high and gorging with Nel every weekend. You liked weed, but the real drug was the freedom it allowed you. The carefree euphoria was your favourite Saturday night reward after a long day of homework. You could forget about all the stresses in your life, thoroughly enjoy food, and fully immerse yourself in whatever media you were watching.
After weeks of this habit, you noticed the usual stuffed-bloat wasn't going away in the morning anymore. You were by no means fat or even curvy, but you had a bit of pudge coming in that was making it hard to do up your jeans. This scared you, but also gave you a little thrill.
When you flew back home for Christmas, your entire family pointed out you were already putting on the freshman 15. They tried to shame you every time you reached for another serving of dinner or a holiday treat, and you certainly felt that shame, but also something else simmering below the surface.
You and Nel had an all-day celebratory smoke sesh when you returned back to campus, puffing away all the stress of dealing with your family during the break. They even gave you a vape of your very own as a late Christmas present. Gorging felt extra rebellious after 2 weeks of constant scolding. That night you passed out with your pants undone and a handful of chips stacked on your chest.
Having your own vape was dangerous. You never let it get in the way of school or your now-stabilized grades, you were way too anxious for that. But whenever there wasn't schoolwork to do you found yourself absent-mindedly puffing away. You would take a hit or two before entering the dining hall, just to give your appetite a boost. Nel was happy to have a smoking buddy, so they did nothing but encourage your habit.
The consequences of your actions were starting to manifest on your body. You could grab a handful of pudge from your belly now, which you did gleefully when high, or roughly and sensually when you were alone in the shower. Your thighs started rubbing holes in your pants, and stuck together when you wore your pj shorts. Your cheeks got softer and rosier. The changes to your body just spurred you on more, driving you to smoke and binge during whatever little spare time you had.
When you flewk back for spring break your parents nearly had a breakdown. Their perfect child was now chubby, and still not a straight A student anymore. However, this time you felt emboldened and snapped at them to back off.
"I'm happy. I like my body, and I like my course. My grades are fine. Why are you so miserable at my happiness?" Surprisingly, they stopped nagging. They still gave you disapproving frowns when you went to the fridge for extra food, but they didn't say anything.
Your grades actually managed to improve when you returned, bringing you to a 4.0 GPA. You were finally learning how to thrive in college, with your own ideals and morals, away from the constricting shackles of your family.
Nel asked you if you wanted to get an apartment together over the summer. You sure didn't want to move back in with your family after a year of freedom, so you agreed. It was small, but you each had your own room now, which meant a little more privacy. You could watch TV together on the couch in front of an actual TV, rather than cramped together on the bed behind a little laptop.
You got a summer job as usual, but this year rather than a lifeguard or camp counselor, you started working at a fast food restaurant. You had the morning prep shift, so you started early, but you also ended early. The job came with a great discount on food, as well as a free meal every shift.
You quickly developed a routine. The day started with work, which went until early afternoon. You'd buy enough food to get you and Nel through the evening, an amount that seemed to be increasing daily. As soon as you got off the bus on the way home you'd hit your vape. By the time you made it in the door the high would be starting to hit, so you'd plunk down on the couch and eat until Nel came home. Then you would both get higher and gorge even more.
All those calories and lazing about made the pounds pile on in record time. Stretchmarks exploded across your skin, zigzagging up and down your plump belly and extenuating your softening chest. A 'w' shape developed on your lower belly as it started to hang. You had to buy clothes a few sizes too big whenever you sized up, because you were growing too quickly.
Every night would end with you in a haze, huffing and puffing as you struggled to waddle back to your room, your massive meal gurgling away in your gut. You would groan as you lowered yourself onto your bed, your belly pressing into your thighs. Then you would take another couple hits and reach into your bedside drawer where you kept dessert. Doughnuts, cookies, chocolate, chips, gummies, and so many other treats were forced into your tired mouth, jaw exhausted from hours of chewing. More often than not you would pass out mid bite, food coma overriding your drive to consume. You loved it. You were thriving.
One day in August as you prepared to go back to school, you and Nel had another all day smoke session. You had just come to after passing out in your first food coma of the day. Nel handed you the vape which you smoked before your eyes were fully open. You leaned back and sighed, resting a hand on your bare belly. Nel gave you a smile.
"What?" You asked, already starting to drawl from the intoxication.
"Nothing. You just look happy."
You thought back on your previous year. It had been a struggle, shaking off those high expectations from your family and yourself, and replacing them with a different high, but you managed. You were thriving now.
"Yeah, I am."






