for the ultimate ship thing: also stoner sugar because pls
Stoner Sugar is the most messed up perfect relationship ever.
Who was the one to propose: Neither of them would never. Sugar’s lawyer might have arranged it for legal reasons or her publicist for publicity reasons.
Who stressed more over wedding planning: Someone was hired to do that.
Who decorated the house: Sugar. Stoner Brett still has his room though that he “decorated” himself.
Who does the cooking: They have someone to do that.
Who is more organized: Sugar
Who initiates bedroom fun: Sugar. Stoner Brett is totally up for sex 24/7, but he knows it’s better if he lets Sugar come to him instead of him trying to convince her to sleep with him.
Who suggested kids first: Neither of them. Never.
Who’s more dominant: Sugar.
Who’s the cuddler: Stoner Brett. But Sugar likes it even if she won’t admit it.
Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: Brett is the big spoon.
What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: Brett likes smoking pot with her. Sugar likes modeling new clothing she’s bought and being told she looks hot. Sometimes Sugar models her latest shopping haul while Brett smokes up and that’s kind of heaven for them.
Who comes home drunk at 3am: Sugar. Brett doesn’t drink.
Who kills the spiders: Brett and the person they have to do that.
Who falls asleep first: Sugar.
A head canon: We’ve talked about every headcanon ever. I don’t know what to put here. I like to think that they’re both deeply in love with each other but their relationship will always be what it is. Sugar will be like 50 years old, dating some boytoy and Brett will still be smoking up in his pot den of a bedroom. But every morning, they’ll still meet in the kitchen to eat and talk about their respective bullshit. And every few days Sugar will knock on his bedroom door and be like “Hey, what’s up?” And they’ll just have the chillest, realest few hours they’ve had all week.
Their relationship summed up in a gif: Because it’s trying to sound smart and rational but it doesn’t make sense, also, Sugar would say some b.s. like this to explain why she can’t be with Brett.
Do they have any “rituals”? Breakfast together is a ritual. Sometimes the staff is there to cook. Sometimes Brett pours cereal. But they usually have “family” breakfasts with Sugar’s little sis until the kid is out of the house.
Who is more experimental? They’re surprisingly kind of conservative about sex. They do it so infrequently that plain old normal sex is enough.
Who takes more risks? They’re both risk takers. Only Brett doesn’t realize they’re risks.
Do they fuck or make love? They have sex.
Lights on or off? Lights on. Lights off. Lights dim. They have sex to the romantic glow of Brett’s lava lamp.
Who is more likely to be caught masturbating? Stoner Brett.
Who is more likely to suggest a threesome? Brett
Who comes first? Usually around the same time, sometimes Brett. Sometimes Sugar. Brett never leaves her hanging though…mostly because Sugar would never let him.
Who is better at oral and who prefers it? Sugar is way better at oral and prefers to give it when she’s high.
Who is more submissive? Brett
Who usually initiates non-sexual things? Sugar. Brett knows his place.
Who is more sensitive? I take this to mean emotionally sensitive. And they’re both pretty steely on the inside.
Who has the most patience? Brett
Which kinks do they share? Sex under the influence, shame sex, quiet sex
