Stony Incorrect Quote - 23/?
Steve: Why are you in my closet? Tony: I needed a quiet place to think. Steve: In my CLOSET?? Tony: You have the best smelling sweaters. Steve: …that’s not the point.

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Stony Incorrect Quote - 23/?
Steve: Why are you in my closet? Tony: I needed a quiet place to think. Steve: In my CLOSET?? Tony: You have the best smelling sweaters. Steve: …that’s not the point.
Wolf Be Upon Yeet: Part III
In which @vicarious-rebel and I chatted via DM about the Werewolf By Night and Moon Knight crews in her headcanon which includes Elsa’s pet eldritch horror Stony, which had been the Bloodstone but is now literally a monster. Here are part I and part II.
Stonyverse short fics:
“Of blood and stone” by Vi
“Something Awful This Way Comes” (ao3 link) by me
"In which the Bloodstone is a little shit" by Vi
This amazing, adorable gif that's eventually relevant to the silliness below it is @toothyclown's creation. (Toothy, If it's not cool that I saved the file and posted it here, lmk and I'll delete it immediately.) Here's the original post with the gif.
This edition gets Looney-Tunes-style silly. 🤣
Vi’s text is black. bluemoonperegrine’s text is blue. (I mean, of course.)
I'm thinking about writing some Stony stuff, so I'm rereading your fic introducing the adorable li'l scamp. There "was the body and eight legs of an arachnid but a bony humanoid torso where the chest and head portion should be. The arms were long and thin but ended in clawed hands large enough to close around a human head." So he has eight spidery legs and two arms. The arms are generally human-like, right? Just kind of warped and horrific?
Stony is huge! It sounds like when standing his abdomen is 7 ft off the ground. If his torso and head are roughly human-sized, that would put his head about 4 feet higher.
I think Stony shouldn't have much of a scent. In any case, it would freak Jack out even more if this creature that partially looks like a skinned human doesn't smell like blood and flesh at all.
This idea popped into my head: the moon boys teaching Stony to walk on his humanoid hands. Jack would pass out on the spot the first time he saw it.
If Stony is as big as I described above, someone's gotta ride him like a steed sent straight from hell. Elsa makes the most sense.
I read this part of our chat--"considering Ted's acid is a reflex"--as "Ted is acid reflux" initially. 🤣
Random idea: Elsa finds a way to make Stony temporarily smaller so it's easier to bring him on hunts. Or maybe discovers that he can go back into gem form but doesn't want to. Elsa would need a truckload of chicken nuggets to train and reward Stony for stuffing himself back into gem form for a while.
Stony: screech-growls in protest
Jack: flinches, then fidgets
Elsa: It's only for a few hours. As we clear out the nest, you can eat every single one of those shambling mounds!
Jack: shudders
Stony: perks up
My brain keeps circling back to Stony's origin story. Why was he suddenly able to manifest in monster form? I'm thinking that during a big fight the Bloodstone got a hairline crack. That disturbed some sort of containment spell and Stony could break free.
yup his arms are pretty human-looking, just disproportionately long for extra body horror eldritchness
Regarding Stony's scent, I do imagine him to smell of blood but it also makes perfect sense for him not to smell of anything bc he's supposed to be in a rock.
You're right that it would freak Jack out. It'll make him develop Stony-sense.
TINY STONY! I imagine him looking the same just…. smaller
My Little Stony 🤣
The question is how tiny is tiny Stony? horse-sized? large dog-sized?
He could change to multiple sizes: stone-sized or dog-sized Regarding how he manifested, something like a spell or whatnot "dissolving" the bloodstone and releasing the sentience
When Stony's out, the actual Bloodstone is gone and not in its frame because it's not a stone anymore
Jack sees something crawling on the floor, assumes it's a spider, then "oh wait oh shit it's That Thing"
Poor Jack sees one of the moon boys teaching Stony to do a trick and he just nopes out
Jack wakes up one morning to find tiny Stony curled up on top of him (on top of the covers) sleeping soundly… and is promptly launched across the room by shrieking Jack who runs for the hills
Tiny stony usually sleeps on Elsa's bed. 🤣
I think I just want to terrorize Jack.
Or worse, sees Elsa actually train it for combat and legs it Hasn't Jack suffered enough?
(No.)
Terrorizing Jack is so much fun. He's our damsel in distress
Someone save the werewolf from the eldrich tarantula
A favorite visual of mine in this AU is Stony deliberately trying to freak out the resident smol woof and Marc just deflecting him like "ok that's enough, you're gonna stop it or no chicken nuggets for you"
Jake not too secretly eggs Stony on. Sneaks him a spicy chicken nug when Marc's not looking
Jack looks at him, betrayed "I loved you… Trusted you…. And you BETRAY ME?!"
Jake: Man up, woof boy
Steven: Jake, I won't tolerate this sort of misogyny and misandry. That's no way--
The system devolves into bickering again. Jake: it's all in good fun
Steven: good fun? you're traumatizing him
Maybe Steven let Jack know about something that wigs Jake out so he can give him a little of his own medicine. He could be afraid of butterflies or something.
Marc standing off to the side, rolling his eyes
Yeah, Steven likes fairness so he'd do that
Jake: whispering to Stony in Spanish Jack: I CAN HEAR YOU AND UNDERSTAND YOU, GILIPOLLAS.
Steven: steal his gloves and crinkle them Jake: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE Stony just being confused bc he doesn't know Spanish but he gets spicy nuggets so he's fine with it
The moon boys bickering is the best
Jake's cheeky and teases ppl but it really is all in good faith
The smol woof needs a pack. he likely sees Elsa and Ted as his… and eventually, reluctantly Stony as well. He'd be more than happy to include the moon boys and Layla
yeah, they're all his pack Stony is on thin ice tho
I can imagine Jack getting angry at Stony for something and informing him that he's out of the pack.
Stony: no response
He doesn't understand and wouldn't really care even if he did.
Elsa, feigning shock: you Kicked him Out? Jail! In this AU werewolf Jack looks just like he did in the special. I assume he's not a mindless killing machine. In the special he went on a killing spree because he was attacked and tortured via Bloodstone and then guards. So is he basically wolflike? How much human Jack is in there?
I'd say about 10% human Jack, he tends to act very wolflike but can occasionally retain info/memories between transformations but they tend to be vague and blurry (like trying to remember a dream but the only thing you remember is having a dream and maybe some detail or feeling and that's it)
For instance, werewolf Jack can recognize ppl by scent (esp if he's been around them long enough) and has some of the same preferences as his human form, like his penchant for salmon paste
Is salmon paste like lox?
Nah, it's like regular salmon ground down to paste, it's got a similar consistency to any paste and it tastes and smells like smoked salmon
It's pretty good. I pretty much headcanon it as one of Jack's favourite snacks after he discovered it. (Marc absolutely uses that to his advantage when dealing with werewolf Jack)
So there isn't a panic at Bloodstone at each full moon if only the usual suspects are around
Bloodstone Manor is like the Addams family mansion. There are a couple of weird creatures, a werewolf, a monster hunter and two avatars of Egyptian gods and everyone's having a grand old time. And then there's Billy Swan, the only normal one in any room, doing his thing like this is all perfectly normal. Also, where is the manor? Outside Boston?
I read somewhere that in the special it's in Arizona. The garden/labyrinth looked kinda the American SW to me, so that clicked in my head and I used it in my fics. Also I love the desert SW so I was happy to set stuff there.
I honestly have no idea, geography is kinda fluid in my brain. It's somewhere in a forested area and that's all I know abt it
gotta have room to roam (for Ted and Jack) and probably also Stony bc big eldritch horrors gotta stretch
I imagine that Elsa removed all of the monster heads mounted on the walls as well.
... if Elsa hadn't removed the monster heads, Stony may have eaten them 😬
I imagine they're stuffed/preserved somehow, in which case Stony wouldn't so much eat them as chew them up and spit them out in disgust
Jack's doing his own thing and BOOM, Stony pops up and fucks up his day
vlog proposal: Decorating With Stony
After the reveal Stony weighs in by destroying things or not. It's the ultimate interior decor assessment. The releases people have to sign are insane
--------------------
Sheesh, I still haven't gotten to the part that inspired this series' title! I'll get there eventually.
Wolf Be Upon Yeet: Part I
@vicarious-rebel and I have been chatting about her headcanon of the Moon Knight and Werewolf By Night characters hanging out in Bloodstone Manor Addams-Family-style. My favorite part of her headcanon is the monster OC she dreamed up: a sentient version of the Bloodstone. She introduced monster!Bloodstone in the short fic "Of blood and stone".
I enjoyed. Had questions. Asked them. Vi replied. We started riffing on stuff, and it's hilarious.
We decided that some of you goofballs might enjoy our silliness and are sharing edited versions of it. Well, we might be. Here's the start of it. I'll see how this post goes over to decide if I want to edit more of our back-and-forth into something intelligible for everyone.
So, the least you need to know:
Elsa, Jack, and Billy Swan live at the manor full-time.
Elsa and Jack are good friends.
Jack is over 200 years old. He doesn't have control of his wolf form. Werewolf him looks just like he did in the special.
Ted, Marc/Steven/Jake, and Layla visit the manor a lot.
Some or all of them go on missions together.
Vi's text is black. bluemoonperegrine's text is blue. (I mean, of course.)
aight so you asked how the Bloodstone would react to Khonshu and I think that depends on whether it considers divine and monstrous to be the same or similar enough conceptually
it considers Jack a monster even though he really only transforms during a full moon so "human for the most part" doesn't cut it
still I don't think we have any info on how it reacts to divine beings (and I'm not really a comic nerd but there's nothing there either as far as I know)
so if the only distinction it makes is human vs non-human, then it would probably react to Khonshu the same way it did to Jack
but it wouldn't be successful in actually landing a hit
yeah, I'm with you on how the Bloodstone would perceive Khonshu: monster. It's pretty binary: there are monster and not monsters. Unnatural and natural.
Ironically, monster!Bloodstone is inherently unnatural. Hence the identity issues you mentioned the other day.
It would be funny if it looked in a mirror and realized "Oh shit. I'm a monster!"
How intelligent is Stony? (monster!Bloodstone needs a shorter name, lol) Like a mammalian alpha predator? Smarter than that?
Stony <3 I love it, it's like a pet name
I'm not entirely sure, to be fair with you. It's definitely smart enough to recognize faces and tell edible from inedible things (maybe even tell reflection from actual thing apart) but that's all "in development", I guess.
He's literally a pet rock. With... viscera and stuff
speaking of Jack, I was actually kinda worried his reaction was ooc
hmm. lemme reread it keeping in mind that he's an old man
bc Jack is a monster and he's certainly seen some freakier ones but on the other hand how often do you see the ultimate weapon against monsters become a monster and then go for your neck?
pff Jack is an old man, please have mercy on his heart
he looks fantastic for 257
i'd say it's a 50/50 chance that he'd run for his life or freeze. Of the four responses to a threat (fight, flight, freeze, fawn), fleeing or freezing make the most sense.
I think he'd have run if Marc weren't there.
yeah, I think so, too. It seems to be his go-to reaction to threats
but maybe his instinct went "wait, someone close to you is here, you can't leave them"
or maybe he freezes depending on the situation (if you can count his reaction to Elsa in the maze as freezing)
I think his brain went offline for about a minute when Stony showed himself
Jack.exe has stopped working, please restart
Once some of the adrenaline had waned Jack would probably think "I can't abandon my friends even though this thing could end me in a fraction of a second"
LOL jack.exe
* opens task manager, kills thread *
from what I understand the Bloodstone is only supposed to weaken monsters so that kinda holds true for Stony boy here
it was basically trying to paralyze Jack
I know nothing about the Bloodstone other than what was in the special
It's interesting to think about a werewolf's reaction to stuff that can seriously hurt them. It's a very short list.
same here but from some of the easter egg/analysis channels I've watched they sometimes talk abt the Bloodstone in the comics and so far none of them mention anything abt it being able to properly kill a monster
so I think of Stony as being able to send just enough neuroparalytic toxins or electric shockwaves to incapacitate a monster but not necessarily kill them
not that Jack knows that in the moment
or any of them really
I like how your mind works. You're figuring out how Stony ticks. The characters may or may not catch up
I am indeed figuring some of this stuff out as we speak
I'm already imagining Elsa trying to figure out how to take care of Stony. What does he eat? Steel? Cinderblocks? tiny ghosts?
she throws all this random crap in his space and watches what he does
Jack watches from far away with binoculars
lol, Jack and Ted watch the show from afar.
"I don't know what she's thinking, Ted. I mean... look at that thing!"
the serious version of what Stony eats would probably be raw meat/blood/whatever else it needs to maintain the viscera
the funny version would be if Elsa eventually figured out it can run on a chicken diet bc of that
Have you watched Death Note?
long time ago, yeah
"L, did you know gods of death like apples?"
that and "I'll take a potato chip...AND EAT IT."
I like the serious and funny versions of figuring out Stony's dietary needs
Ted, nodding along to Jack's concerns
Stony would make for a very efficient clean-up crew after a hunt
he's the goat of monsters
it gets even funnier when you imagine it wasn't Elsa but one of the mk crew to figure it out
gotta be either Steven or Jake
Marc or Jake casually throw a chicken nugget at it for funsies and whoops, what do you know it likes it
they train it to do tricks
they would!
I just love the image of Marc being completely unphased by the thing after the initial encounter so when the system n Jack are visiting Elsa for whatever reason and Stony pops up we have
Jack: internally screaming in terror
Marc: oh hey bud
Marc keeps chicken nuggies in a ziplock bag in a coat pocket for Stony
the system overall gets along with Stony, Steven especially likes teaching it tricks and playing fetch with it
Jack: Marc, have you been eating a lot of chicken?
M: ...no?
J: You... always smell like chicken now. Cooked chicken, I mean. Fried, to be specific. Just a little.
M: * pulls a ziplock bag with nuggs out of his coat. It says "Stony <3" in Sharpie*
J: ...oh.
lmao Jack being secretly jealous
(Why don't *I* get chickie nuggies?)
"how come this thing gets chicken nuggets from him all the time? what does it have that I don't??"
He'd start hanging around in wolf form in hopes of treats 😂
crackpot theory: Marc has some kind of natural way of getting along with monsters
just Marc, or the system?
just Marc
however the rest of the system also has their way of getting around
Steven would use his big brain
Steven manages to get on most monsters' good side by being his genuine, curious and respectful self while Jake has more of a chill vibe that can disarm even monsters with time
and speaking of wolf Jack, yes he'd absolutely start sticking around the system more often for treats
especially when you consider Marc gives me dog person vibes he'd probably cave at some point
Elsa sighs, rolls her eyes, and points this out to the boys
Ted just wheeze-laughs
oh Ted has the time of his life teasing Jack for it
Elsa, too
I love this so much words can't do it justice
my general idea of the WBN crew is that they are a tight squad and teasing is just a given
"I'm not that dog-like!" *scratches behind ear*
it's good-natured teasing. if anyone crosses a line, the other party backs off and apologizes, if indirectly
Elsa: you're jealous that Stony gets all of Marc's attention, aren't you?
Jack, sweating: I don't know what you're talking about
aight we've touched on Jack being jealous for attention
aside from hanging around the system more in wolf form, he also tries to spend more time with them as a human
preferably outside of Bloodstone manor
first off, he's not jealous of that thing you guys, he's noooooootttt
and secondly, since Stony can be surprisingly quiet for a giant monster he can lurk the house and sneak up on anybody
that essentially means it constantly tries to sneak up on Jack and he can smell when it's near and that freaks him out
also I headcanon that Jack likes bubble tea and routinely tries to get the system to try it but they're obstinate
he lets up on Steven when he says he's vegan but the others aren't so lucky
plenty of puppy eyes
also it just occurred to me that it would be double funny if Layla also started showering Stony with affection and Marc was secretly a little jealous as well
he would never admit it ofc but he also wouldn't have a grudge against it bc hello???? it's Stony
the thing kinda has a soft spot for Marc bc of the treats (and that first encounter bc I think it would appreciate bravery, somehow)
Does Stony like Jack? Why is he sneaking up on him?
I can almost imagine Stony as a scary/annoying kid hanging around Jack looking for attention. Maybe
Bubble tea! 😆
So who exactly is the WBN crew? Elsa, Jack, Ted, Stony 😂, the system, and Layla? Anyone else?
I can only see Elsa and Jack being at the manor full time, or at least a lot. Being 200 yrs old, Jack must have a few places... unless he's largely itinerant. And Ted has to guard the nexus in the Everglades
the WBN crew are Elsa, Jack and Ted while Layla and the system are the MK crew
Stony would initially stalk him bc "monster bad" but he does eventually realise that's not the case for Jack but still does the stalking bc he is in fact A Little Shit
what are the other naughty things Stony does?
Stony usually bumps into things or pokes them bc he's curious about his surroundings
this leads to the endearing cat-like behaviour of "push things off the ledge and see what happens" and what happens is that sometimes things break
Lol Stony. He's like a cat and a dog
exactly
Does Stony have anything like catnip? Stonynip? lol
Stoned Stony
The bad jokes/puns write themselves 😆
maybe bloodroot (sanguinaria). It grows wild out here.
I'm not sure he'd have something like that tbh (plus the bloodroot sounds like it could actually hurt him but who knows, we're talking about an eldritch being spawned from a frekin jewel)
which would be funnier: Jack never getting over Stony and freaking out every time he saw it or getting to a point where he just sees it and goes "not you again"
I think the "why not both" option is for him to be in "freak out every time" mode for, like, weeks, then slowly transition to "oh god, you again"
from "oh god, you again"(terrified) to "oh god, you again"(exasperated)
Maybe the MK system and Elsa have an intervention with still-freaking-out-over-Stony Jack to encourage him to chill. If he doesn't he'll repeatedly have coronaries, heal up, then have more. Ugh. 😂
oh yeah, poor him
constantly on the verge of a heart attack
Swan's reaction to Stony would be fun to play with, too.
lmaooo yeah
I fully picture him agreeing with Jack at first that Stony is freaky but then he sees how it treats Elsa and he's like "actually you know what? this thing's chill, I don't even have to clean up after it"
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Congrats to anyone who got this far!
There's a backstory to the title of this post. It'll be revealed in a later one.
Also, for anyone who wants to read more Stony hijinx, see my short fic "Something Awful This Way Comes."
Wolf Be Upon Yeet: Part IV
The origin of this series' title is revealed FINALLY.
For anyone who's unfamiliar with this insanity, @vicarious-rebel and I chatted via DM about the Werewolf By Night and Moon Knight crews in her headcanon which includes Elsa’s pet eldritch horror Stony, which had been the Bloodstone but is now literally a monster. Here are part I, part II, and part III. See the very end of this post for links to Stonyverse fics.
On with the show, which gets positively absurd!
Vi’s text is black. bluemoonperegrine’s text is blue. When I can't remember who wrote what, the text is purple.
We previously established that Jack's favorite snack is salmon paste, which is literally pureed salmon. Healthy and delicious! 😂
I can see Marc just trying to cook salmon for himself and werewolf Jack is prowling nearby. He has to constantly shoo him away or distract him while trying not to overcook/burn the food.
Marc grills salmon when he thinks Jack is off running errands or something. Then suddenly, hungry werewolf.
Marc: dammit throws 1/3 of the steak at the wolf, who catches it in midair and swallows it whole
Jack comes back from grocery shopping and immediately smells salmon, sides up to Marc and does the puppy eyes thing Marc: Jack, no Jack: pls? Marc: no Jack: (puppy eyes intensifies) Marc: fuck… fine!
omg, Jack workin' those green puppy dog eyes. Resistance is futile.
He'd bat his lashes. Totally.
His eyes are his greatest weapon and he knows it. Closely followed by his smile.
What if Steven is immune to Jack's puppy eyes bc he himself has puppy eyes energy?
They have puppy-dog-eye-offs IDK who wins really
Now I'm imagining Marc going to great lengths to keep his salmon to himself. After checking Jack's schedule, he checks weather conditions. Takes the grill downwind from the manor.
Doesn't matter. Jack will sniff out the salmon.
Jack can be a formidable persistence hunter when it comes to his fave treats
It's a tie obviously, they both puppy eyes
Jack: "I can do this all day" puppy dog eyes
God help anyone who gets puppy eyes treatment from both of them at once. Insta kill
I can imagine Layla or Elsa "deploying" them both. "Boys, go get 'em."
Have you seen the clip from Mozart in the Jungle where they riff on Gael's eyes? Never fails to crack me up. Rodrigo is such a drama queen.
"WhY aRe YoU sO dRaMaTiC???" he says and falls to the ground sobbing dramatically. Self-awareness: -100
I'm working on my Stony fic now. Doing my damnedest to not let it turn into something… long. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE LONG, DAMMIT. channeling Rodrigo: "Why why WHY does everything have to be LOOOOONG?"
because the characters are greedy YES it's their fault 😂
Jack is just an enthusiastic cook and wants to feed all his friends. Prime mom friend behaviour.
Yep, and providing for his pack. He's psyched to learn new dishes because he's 237 years old and hadn't been to Ethiopia before.
He has a long list of dishes he can make and he just wants to make it Longer
He's the kind of cook who can just whip stuff up based on what's on hand. If he's totally new to something he'll look at recipes. After that he's just throwing stuff in a pot and it all works out 99% of the time.Jack is intuitive AF in my mind
It's def heightened by his werewolf senses but even without them he's still pretty good at guessing things/reading people
I think he and Jake have that in common bc Jake has certainly had to learn how to gauge people but maybe he's much more suspicious than Jack.
Jake assumes the worst in people. Jack doesn't. He's not naive, but gives people a chance.
Jack wants to give people the benefit of the doubt, whereas Jake is in full-blown Protective mode all the time
Yes. That was Jake's job for most of the system's life
Jake is the mother hen whether he likes it or not. He'll never admit it.
Jack, on the other hand, is pretty open about being a mom friend. He's spent so much time alone that he looooves having a pack to take care of and be with
Jake: fuck all of y'all (one of them bumps their toe or something) Jake: (internally screaming, cue the kill bill sirens)
Jack and found family ❤️
Can you imagine the mother-henning from Jack if one of the MK/WBN crew got sick? Like the flu? omg In my headcanon Jack never gets sick, but still has allergies that make him sneeze a lot.
If Jack so much as hears someone sneeze or cough One Time, that's it. "here's a blanket, drink this tea, get some rest, eat this soup" it's almost overbearing but he does it out of genuine love and concern so it's not like anyone can hold it against him
After he tucks them into bed, he's in the kitchen making chicken soup from scratch and whatever Mexican equivalents are
Plus Marc is most in need of mother henning in those times bc he's gonna be adamant that he's fine and Jack's just not having it.
He needs it and wants it but hates that and tries to deny himself that. Jack just bulldozes through all of that and takes care of him and Marc secretly is all ❤️
Elsa is similar in my headcanon, but not as extreme
Marc: (through clenched teeth) I'm fine (meanwhile he's had a migraine for three days, his nose is stuffy and he just started coughing) Jack: no, you're not (mother hen mode activated)
I'd say Elsa would be similar but in her case it's out of pride (I'm a Bloodstone, I will not be defeated by a mere cold) Jack: Elsa, please Elsa: oh, fine but only because it's my favourite tea
In my Elsa headcanon it's about needing to be invulnerable, not needing any support. (although she does)
She does strike me as a bit hyperindividualistic
[I'm omitting an emotional scene from one of my fics here.]
Jack doesn't understand some of Elsa's behavior, but accepts it. Sets boundaries as needed. And Elsa is totally baffled by him, but grateful.
Mostly she wants to go beat something up.
Elsa: I don't talk about my feelings, I go beat someone or something up about them
Elsa: AND IT'S WORKED PERFECTLY FOR 40 YEARS THANKYOUVERYMUCH
Jack just pouts and shakes his head, "but it's not healthy" Elsa: grumbles
time passes Elsa: Talk later, okay? I'm gonna work the body bag for a bit. Jack: smiles
Jack accidentally catches Stony's eye and freezes Marc: (sigh) Elsa please get Stony, he's scaring Jack again
Elsa quickly trains Stony to not enter the wing of the manor with the kitchen. It's a total no-go zone so Jack doesn't lose his mind.
Idea for a crack fic: Since Jack freezes when Stony stares at him, the gang figures that's one of his powers. So they go on a mission and try to use it.
It doesn't work. The monsters don't care that Stony is staring. The battle doesn't go very well, but the gang wins in the end.
Jake: You're telling me that ONLY JACK freezes from Stony? It's all in his head???
Jack: retorts in agitated Spanish, including something about people living in glass houses throwing stones
Elsa and Layla have to calm everyone down
Yep, with Jack freezing up every time it's understandable if they think it's an ability and not just the resident werewolf tapping into prey instincts he didn't know he had
Jack: Puta madre! I'M AN APEX PREDATOR!
Everyone else: laughs
Steven: actually, you're TWO apex predators
Jack: Right?!?
Jake: snickers
Marc: you'll be the first apex predator to freeze up out of fear Jack: you watch your mouth Marc: careful or you won't get salmon
Comment on a GREAT wbn fic on AO3: "Jack is such a brave cinnamon roll I just want to hug him ❤️ "
I want that on a bumper sticker.
I'm trying to imagine what they'd binge watch on TV
Universal monster movies and Jack's just riffing on them "that's not accurate" "That's what everyone thinks, but actually…" "Dracula is not that cool, come on! Bela Lugosi is hot tho" "dracula has a mean left hook" "cReAtUrE FrOm ThE bLaCk LaGoOn"
In my MK s2 the gang watched Ancient Aliens on the History Channel and had a ball jeering it. Steven got a little incensed at the inaccurate Egyptian stuff, though. But he got over it quickly
MK/WBN crew watching dracula Marc: oh hey that reminds me (calls up Dracula) You still owe me money, bitch
Steven: WITH INTEREST Jack, rubbing his hands: you know, if you want help with him I could chip in
Jack, under his breath: I hate that guy it's personal for him 😂
Marc and Jack hating on Dracula be like You know that whole time travel thing about going back in time to kill hitler? Jack would totally do it to off Dracula
Jack: you can't curse my family if you're Dead
Elsa: practical to an extreme Jack: head-in-the-clouds poet You know, it's kind of like Spike being a vampire. It was genius to make William a soft, sappy poet
it's even better because Jack gets all poetic in life-or-death situations like the whole crypt scene, he talks about family and then he drops the "We could die here" oh so casually
his whole hand-wavy thing describing family being an atmosphere gotta love how he talks with his hands like that
What was it he said? "It's an option. Not my choice, but an option."
WTF, man. 😂
Definitely said like someone who's lived a long, long time
"we could definitely die here but eh, it could be worse I guess"
There are things worse than death. Monsters have seen it 😬
We need a lot more Ted, and definitely them working with MK and Layla!
Jack would so not be phased by Khonshu and Taweret he's be mildly surprised, maybe. Then be impressed by their costumes
another crack fic idea: Jack, having seen way too much in his long life: ok so the thing that gives me hell every month is governed by a mummified pidgeon-headed skeleton, whatever
"cool suit tho"
for reasons, the WBN and MK crew encourage Jack to write poetry. Some of it's good, some not so much. It takes practice.
Jack gets writer's block and gives up.
His friends arrange for Stony to scare the crap out of him. Writer's block goes poof
also "I didn't think the moon would be so petulant"
within a year of Stony hanging around Jack's gray has gone all white 😂
Jack: my salt and pepper hair is losing the pepper
He thought he'd been long-suffering before. Enter Stony 🤣
His friends assure him that he looks great all white. jack still pouts sometimes. Glares at Stony
Jack being all dramatic abt things he's been through and then he sees Stony and goes "I'd still go through it again in place of dealing with That"
In my WIP there's an alternate universe for a little while--I won't get into why--and Jack remembers original him. He soon discovers that alternate him dyes his hair. He's like "Seriously? That's lame" (paraphrasing)
"That's some weak game, me"
fun headcanon time: Elsa once gave Jack a few pairs of her old leather pants bc she couldn't fit in them anymore and to everyone's surprise they fit Jack perfectly
Elsa: I can't squeeze into them anymore but I like them so I don't wanna just throw them away and you're skinny af so here
"Jack, where's my black [something]! You keep stealing it!"
Jack: I'm not skinny. I have a swimmer's physique. (OK, he wouldn't say that. IIRC Niles said that in an ep of Frasier and it was hilarious.)
Elsa: give me back my jacket Jack: no, it's comfy and you can't even close it anyway Elsa: I don't care, it's a fashion statement, now hand it over Marc: Jack, are you wearing Elsa's clothes? Jack: purses lips Jack: it's not what it looks like, I swear Jake: it looks like you're wearing Elsa's jacket and those leather pants are more her style than yours, amigo
Steven: And you both look fantastic in it! 😁
Steven wants to take everyone clothes shopping. Marc and Elsa would rather fight horrible, nasty creatures than do that
Marc and Elsa, the stubborn not-this-mundane-shit duo we didn't know we needed
before long Steven and maybe Jack would be clothes shopping for Elsa. They find really cool stuff actually
Elsa likes it but doesn't want to admit it Layla helps them out bc she and Elsa are the same size and that's how Elsa and Layla end up with lots of matching clothes
It's like an extended cast version of Three's Company (sitcom from around 1980 if you're not familiar), but without the homophobia
Sometimes something just looks So Good on Layla and she likes it so she buys one for herself and one for Elsa
Layla: Jack, I know that's Elsa's because I have the same shirt.
Jack: 👀
Out of convenience and wanting to travel light, the three expect to borrow each other's clothes… too much. So they run out of stuff to wear on a mission.
OK, this is getting really silly now
and to come full circle, Jack rarely steals something of Marc's and that's usually by accident bc Marc gave it to him post full moon shenanigans so he's not naked/cold
Jack would not admit it but he likes Marc's white hoodie the most bc it's very soft
and it smells like his friend
he makes "sweater paws" with it yes the familiar smell is def a comfort
[Omitted because I can't find it 😢 : an image of a small and fluffy white dog whose hair is sticking straight out in all directions due to static electricity.]
Jack after being shrunk by a witch's spell (it'll wear off eventually) and being scared by Stony for the 1000th time
his hair will never be the same again imagine Elsa putting tiny Jack in a terrarium or one of those giant doll-houses
tiny Jack growls ferociously and adorably.
He's an ankle-biter and Kenough ankle-nibbler I'm laughing and crying over here
his tiny jaws aren't even strong enough to leave a lasting mark his struggles are adorable to watch tho
I hated the dollhouse my mom tried to get me into when I was a little girl. She tried her best and had good intentions, but we're very different people. She enjoyed putting together these splintery bits of wood to make tiny furniture, then sand them.
I wanted to get back to putting Barbie's black boots on Chewbacca to make him super tall and beating up Darth Vader and Barbie.
it wouldn't take Jack too long to give up and curl into an adorable ball of sulkiness.
Ted would scoop him up, scold Elsa, and take him away until the spell wore off. He wouldn't let Stony near. he can't have his BFF having a total breakdown. ❤️
oh yeah Ted is definitely not risking Stony getting near tiny Jack
Seriously, I have vivid memories of playing with those OG Star Wars figures.
I lost Luke's lightsaber pretty quickly and was sad. He and his dad had to take turns with dad's.
he could actually get eaten like that
I think at this point Stony wouldn't eat him, but best to play it safe
Stony can still be a lil shit tbh, he'd try it just for sport
omg, tiny Jack with a huge salmon steak bad Stony! Bad! No pukwudgies for you!
Jack just slamming his face in the jar of salmon paste
Marc: I thought it was bad enough when you were regular sized but this is something else
I once volunteered at a ferret rescue.
You haven't lived until you've seen eight baby ferrets with unopened eyes placed around a paper plate with some sort of meat-based soft food. They were fuzzy little worms of nomming eating their way to the center.
Just like tiny Jack would be.
Jack wonders "What did I do to deserve this? And why have things gotten so weird all of the sudden?"
That's what you get for being soft and lovable, my guy and now pocket-sized
Also your ferret mention now got me thinking of Jack tipping over into the jar of salmon paste and just goes "oh well" and starts munching into it Looney Tunes style
Someone later finds the empty jar with a sleepy Jack in it
He's being responsible. Cleaning up after himself until the food coma hits
Elsa tries to make him a purse dog and fails because Jack is a miniature whirling dervish of nails and teeth.
Elsa went from monster hunter to monster gatherer
collect them all! I'd say this is going full circle, but it's mostly spiraling into higher levels of absurdity
How else would we reach "pocket werewolf" territory? I just imagine Jake yeeting pocket werewolf Jack at someone "wolf be upon ye"
He so would! but "wolf be upon ye" (upon yeet?) in Spanish
Tiny jack running in circles around everyone's feet because he wants to go on the mission and help his pack
careful, you'll get squashed
everyone is very careful not to step on tiny wolf jack
Jack: I wanna help Marc: (takes him and puts him in his shirt pocket) there, keep watch Jack: takes his watch duty very seriously (and adorably) just imagine his tiny howl of alarm everyone is momentarily distracted by how cute it is and then they see the danger everyone: Aww!
Someone tries to pick Marc's pockets and get a surprise bite from Jack
The thief yanks his hand back and Marc punches him in the face. Then he holds up still-snarling Jack. "My li'l buddy here's a werewolf, so see ya at the next full moon, pal."
Thief: wets himself
(but it's okay because Jack can't infect others with lycanthropy in my headcanon) The thief doesn't know that tho, so he's freaking out The thief chains himself up for the full moon and is like WTF when nothing happens
but relieved and pissed at Marc and Jack
That sounds like a backstory for a new MK villain It's like MK crossed with Venture Brothers. "I'm gonna find that tiny werewolf if it's the last thing I do!"
Joke's on him, the werewolf is no longer tiny.
The guy's going to monster bars asking about tiny werewolves and getting weird looks. He's thrown out on his ear.
The gang is in there. Maybe Marc is elsewhere at the moment.
-------------------------
Stay tuned for part V next week. There's more Tiny Jack Adventures to come!
Stonyverse short fics
“Of blood and stone” by Vi
“Something Awful This Way Comes” (ao3 link) by me
"In which the Bloodstone is a little shit" by Vi
"The Only One Left" by Vi (no silliness in this one)
Wolf Be Upon Yeet: Part II
In which @vicarious-rebel and I chatted via DM about the Werewolf By Night and Moon Knight crews in her headcanon which includes Elsa's pet eldritch horror Stony. Here's part I.
Stonyverse short fics: "Of blood and stone" and "Something Awful This Way Comes" (ao3 link).
This edition is more philosophical and about character development than silly. There's plenty of silliness to come!
Vi's text is black. bluemoonperegrine's text is blue. (I mean, of course.)
Talk to me about what 200+ year-old Jack is like. Other than [another character], I've never written a very old character before. I just... I have no idea. Can't fathom it.
When writing the [other character] I was able to lean on wide-eyed innocence and fish-out-of-water stuff.
Jack is not innocent. He's seen and been through A LOT, yet has held on to kindness and trust somehow.
Jack is a very tortured soul who tries really damn hard to keep his humanity intact no matter how hard it is and even though there are times when he fears he might let his anger slip and lean into the more bestial side of his nature, he still tries to compensate for it somehow
I imagine him much the same. At 42 he's still a baby werewolf so he's not too tortured yet.
I see him as someone who's also gone through a lot of heartbreak so he's not at all careless when it comes to who he lets in
What I don't get about long-lived characters is how they have the motivation to keep going. Life is a mix of good and bad, but after you've been through 200+ years of bad, is the good enough? Or is it hope or wanting to repent or help others?
In Jack's case it's a mixture of optimism and stubbornness. He sees just a little bit of hope in another's eyes and it's enough for him to keep going. And it's cumulative
Every time he helps a person or a monster and sees the relief/joy/gratitude in their eyes or when they gift him something as thanks for helping them, he clings to those things like a lifeline
then Jack looks into Stony's eyes and is like run away 😆
but Stony is an odd one so we can forgive him for that
In my headcanon, Jack avoids looking at Stony's eyes at all costs. Then again, he generally avoids Stony, so easy peasy
Jack: don't look it in the eye, don't look it in the eye, don't look-
meanwhile Marc is totally unbothered, playing around with it
Marc: Hey, Stony's eyes are like convex mirrors.
Steven: Like a funhouse! *makes faces*
Jack: *speechless* *aghast*
Jack would totally get worried over Marc being so casual about Stony
Jake, on knowing Stony wouldn't hurt them, likes to stick his mouth in its jaws and watch Jack become pale as a ghost just to mess with him.
I can imagine one of the moon boys casually leaning against Stony while snacking on something. He/they share the snack with Stony. Stony prefers freshly killed meat, but will settle for a good burrito.
gotta love everybody just acting natural around Stony like he's always been this way and Jack's just shaking at the knees
Jack has oddly inconsistent fear reactions, I think. Like Stony freaks him out but potentially getting found out at the Bloodstone funeral is like "this would be bad but eh"
a monster could kill him? not ideal but he can work around it
and Ted doesn't freak him out.
When they first met, was Jack not afraid from the start?
Maybe Jack stumbled upon Ted in a horrible situation and rescued him. No fear then.
saying something slightly too close to werewolf experience and someone gives him an odd look? fuck, shit, fuck i fucked up, i shouldn't have said that
it'd be very interesting to find out how he met Ted and whether or not he was afraid of him, considering Ted's acid is a reflex
it's funny; in my baby werewolf version of Jack he totally shrugs off saying stuff that suggests he's not fully human. Example: he tells a human he's working with an odd detail about a monster's scent. Gets a weird look.
Jack: I have a sensitive nose. *shrug*
Now, if things happen and he's exposed as being not human, he goes straight into "shit shit shit" mode.
yeah, I really want to write baby werewolf Jack meeting Ted. I have no idea how that happens yet. Won't let myself go down that rabbit hole just yet.
I think in my case it's because Jack didn't know he was a werewolf until it was too late, by that time he had heard many stories of monsters and knew how people reacted to them and he had to figure stuff out on his own because by that time his father was dead and he had no one to guide him
and he was pretty scared about being found out and killed and potentially his loved ones meeting the same fate
that's one of the things I hate about the comics canon: if you're a parent and know your kid is going to turn into a monster, how do you not prepare him or her? I mean, that's unconscionable.
Perhaps Laura wasn't sure if Jack and Lissa were cursed.
If I were her I'd have tried to prepare them anyway
I headcanon that Jack's father [Gregory] was actually working on what he thought was a cure to the curse through the Darkhold, so he didn't prepare his kids because he hoped he could break the curse before Jack turned 18
Part of why my WBN is such an AU is that I decided that Laura tells Jack and Lissa about the werewolf curse when Jack turns 17.
The kids don't believe her at first, of course.
I changed other stuff so that there's a viable pathway for them to believe her. Jack actually has some help and support, and shit still goes off the rails.
it didn't happen though, because he [Gregory] was killed before he got anywhere with it and since Jack's family started running after that, his mother was usually occupied with other things
When did Laura die, and where's Lissa?
I see Jack as eventually going solo so his mother and sister don't have to move constantly in fear for his life
he finds out from Lissa when their mother died but didn't find out when Lissa herself died until he passed through a graveyard one day and saw her name
How itinerant is Jack? Does he have multiple crash pads?
since Jack's always on the move she didn't always have a way to contact him
yeah, and much of their lives were pre-telephone
Jack moves around but really only bc he has to, he otherwise tries to settle down and I like the idea that he often stays at monster communities
He's lucky because he can pass for human most of the time
How do horses react to Jack?
horses are wary of him but generally only try to run if he gets too close or tries to touch them. That's how ppl get suspicious of him sometimes
the horses don't vibe with him and they're immediately alert
Jack was very happy when trains became commonplace lol
Trains are a godsend for Jack not least because he actually does enjoy traveling and trains allow him to go long distances
What's the deal with his werewolf form? Is it like the special? Does he have a hybrid form he can control?
the form in the special is what he really looks like when he transforms
he's a smol werewolf
at this stage he doesn't know how to control it or tap into it. But I have a darker version of him that absolutely has control over it
which does he prefer: cars or motorcycles? Also, how many languages does he speak?
cars bc they can act as shelter and a barrier to outside stimuli
I see him as speaking Spanish, English, French and a bit of Latin
"El cielo y el café deben amarse... El café y el cielo se aman" Inspirado en un relato corto que pertenece a Cenk gotique pasen a darle amor: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=421157108501485&id=322221431728387 #stony #stonyverse #ironshield #mcu #tonystark #steverogers #blueeyes #browneyes #love https://www.instagram.com/p/B0xii8PAHJ1/?igshid=7ml8pxq8wwsb






