#storking

[daydreamodyssey]

By far the best reaction in Impractical Jokers was when Murr told Q that he had to say he was "storking" a guy he was sitting with, and Q said it was using a filter to to turn people into stork hybrids, and that he (totally unprompted) said he'd hang the pictures above his grandmother's grave

And the guys were totally befuddled and speechless

He didn't even need to say that part, it's so funny hearing that. He lost too so it wasn't even worth it

[he-rezja]

[shinynewtoysyndrome]

Storking

When a kid comes to the conclusion that the story of the stork delivering children is some sort of bizarre sexual innuendo.

[thefirmandaerie]

Prone Adventures

So I began undoing all I could. Fog presented itself as a blessing but really it was irrelevant. We’d forge ahead, doomed to do it all back again. Tender champions looked on, stroking each other’s straps. It all got light, useful — useful to the museum industry, that is. Then we started storking. Who here knows anything about delayed gratification? Nothing jocular, only fantasy. I have a good one about being in bed. Glassy, true to fit, nice pipes, spackled, out of ideas. Then it hit me. Thanks. I asked for a responsible universe. I got an angry desk. (In bed.)

The rules come and go. Dust from the moon shows up in our rankings. Surprised? Walled gardens should be no big deal. Yet the garden expands, reaches over your shoulder, bogarts your lunch hour. Take a pinch and place it in a drawer midway down the nearest obelisk. In some countries, substitute “newspaper kiosk,” “internet café,” or “tree-of-heaven.” (In bed.) Then lounge at will. Well, no. Forge ahead, a tiny figurine of yourself, brindle spider jumping, tree-of-heaven shadows a-sway, net nothing, never get it to work, play all day, go apeshit, silently cancel the corrections, welcome all comers. Stay gentle.

The age grinds on so gracelessly I didn’t know if it was a joke or an alloy of humorless, spoonfed textures. So I decided to commit an appearance. You said it was good behavior, warden; I saw my reflection flinch in the turquoise pond. I raised gladioli to have you resent them. A waterspout beside my pillow was your only consolation. You added a handful of moss. A clay pipe overturned beside me finished the composition. Wonderful to be a palatial residence with pouches, cleats, indisposed utilities. I’d put everything like cards on a tray when it’s time to fold.

The other night I woke up laughing, the dreamed phrase on my lips: “cantaloupe puppies.” What could I do with this but keep laughing, wake the one beside me? We are all cantaloupe puppies, friends, whether spoiling in châteaux or yapping under canopies. While you infer the rules, I'll amass the riches of composition. We’d rather have one silver thread in our bedhangings than compel world penitence with crude sketches. That’s what got us here. My present approach is to just lurk and lunge, forging ahead with vague pieties on my shirt, snark on my bumper for whoever wants it.

If that were a style it’d be Business Clown. As it is it’s a shine on things. The fog has evaporated. The audience sets corner of napkin to corner of mouth. The Vice Squad squanders its violets. There’ve been rumors of a coup, followed by free advice. That’s all I know. Use it wisely. (In bed.) I don’t have time to verbalize its total parameters. I’d rather be up late with herringbone linens, houndstooth scarf, a carafe of Whoppers, various pipettes, a volume of Complete Correspondences and a hank of my true love’s hair. Thanks.  May the bed never recover.

[unculturedmag]

  Watch: Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen Planking, Storking, Owling and Hugging! 

We can’t get enough of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen’s silly monthly promotional videos for StyleMint, and November’s might be our favorite yet. It is by far the silliest and makes little sense in terms of selling t-shirts, but it is hilarious.  In it, this year’s Vogue Best Dressed cover girls are seen planking, storking and owling, but in classic scenes from It’s a Wonderful Life, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and Charlie Brown. Then, atop the yellow brick road from The Wizard of Oz, they “plowl.” In case you don’t know what these actions mean, definititions are provided. You’ll know what the last thing they do is, though. And it’s super cute. Watch!