Storm Hawks - Age of Heroes Part 1 - Now that I'm a bitter non-functioning adult
I'm a 2000's kid. I'm told I had a childhood. One day I woke up as the legal drinking age with a chip on my shoulder. The only real progress I've made since those days is that I now have my own computer to hunt down non-rerun episodes of my shows instead of sneaking onto my Dad's computer at midnight. I never found those episodes, but I did find sketchy sites that streamed the Saw movies (I turned out perfectly fine, thank you very much) AND gave the computer cancer.
That's it. That's the introduction to why I want to look at the first episode of a show from my childhood and see if my superior pretentious twat adult brain can still find something enjoyable about it.
It's a cartoon about badass knights wielding Not!Lightsabers and doing dog fights on flying motorcycles, let's go!
We jump right into the action with an opening sequence that I think does a really good job of immediately setting the expectations for the show, with our lead Aerrow (for years I thought he was named after the chocolate bar) getting chased down on a motorbike by a big rhino biker who just punches down all the trees in his way.
First off, I love the Nerd Corp art style. It's very distinct, and gives a lot of personality and colour to any of their shows. The character models lend themselves to being very expressive and distinct. There's a sort of grimy and/or scratchy look to the aesthetic I enjoy. Like, compared to a lot of shows in the last decade, especially 3D ones, I find myself noticing more and more how sterile and clean a lot of them look, but in this show even in an empty room or barren plane it still feels like a location instead of a set.
Picking back up with this introduction, Aerrow's co-pilot there is called Radar. As mascot characters go, I think he stands out and has more personality than just 'cute animal' and serves an actual purpose. We have a funny moment where Radar is so busy cowering that he forgets to trigger the bike's wings and they almost crash. Yeah, I said wings, this ain't just a sci-fi motor bike, it's a flying rocket-powered bike!
These Red Bull commercials are getting out of hand.
The rhino dude is Junko, and he has rockets with faces painted on them like bullet bills so you know he's the real deal.
Next flies in Finn with his bike-mounted crossbow, he's a crack shot hot shot with the spirit of a surfer bro. He shot out the engine, so Radar needs to perform the precise engineering art of 'Beat the fuck out of the machinery until it stops smoking'.
They think they're in the clear before getting cornered by a big beautiful ship called the Condor, and the legend that pilots it; Stork.
Years later and my inner child is immediately screaming for the best character in the show. We'll touch on him later. He calls Aerrow a 'Skyknight'. They are knights, but in the sky, and with no lords, and laser swords.
We round off with the girl of the group, and the one who planned out the ambush, Piper. She's a wiz with the magical crystals that double as Atmos' ammunition and power sources.
They think they have Aerrow cornered, but they didn't count on the crazy bastard nose diving into hell just to avoid doing chores. I say hell because this is a world that primarily lives on islands above the clouds; because under the clouds is a wasteland full of lava monsters and demons.
But yeah, this isn't an actual fight. Aerrow and his friends are just roleplaying and racing to Terra Atmosia where some officials will graduate them into being a real Skyknight crew.
The person who loses the race is on chore duty for the month. Stork, being the guy who has to land their ship, is obviously the last one to arrive. You dicks.
Their arrival causes a bit of stir when people recognise their symbol, turns out they're inheriting the Storm Hawks name from a previous legendary team.
This is how I want be if I ever had a kid, constantly telling them that current thing sucks and that there's no Santa Clause. We're never getting the OGs back.
We run through our character archetypes here as they literally have to state their character roles for paperwork purposes. Aerrow's your earnest, dare devil, fun loving leader who's desperate to prove himself. Finn's the big headed dude bro who wants to be the main character (though he can actually back up a lot of his talk). Junko's the gentle giant who's big into weapon tech and doesn't have much else going on in his head. Piper's the responsible second-in-command who handles tactics, is a know-it-all and generally the resident scientist type.
Stork is the disaster shut-in conspiracy nut washed in pessimism, dripping in anxiety, spitting out smarm and in love with the ship he pilots. He's probably the spirit animal of a good chunk of nerds.
He's the carrier pilot because he carries the show.
It all goes well until the Elder adjusts his glasses and realizes that these are teenagers with attitude and immediately throws them out.
A) Weird world where you can be old enough to own a flying house and live in it alone AND wield deadly weaponry, but still not old enough to work for the Government .
B) Piper tells us that this is all a formality because they've already completed all the trials in order to prove their worth as a crew; did no one tell the kids that they were still too young? Or is this just the Elders being dicks?
They leave dejected, but Aerrow assures his friends that this doesn't mean anything. It's just a title after all, but the rest of the crew are down about the fact that they're still being treated like kids.
Stork: Friends? Oh, I'm just here until something better comes along.
That is the first five minutes of the episode, believe it or not. As I said, I think they managed to cram a lot into this simple introduction despite being brief:
You get the main thrust of the show's action front-and-centre, the cool vehicle combat/racing with a vehicle that transforms for flight capability (they're called Sky Skimmers).
You get a grip on the show's kind of humour through banter and slapstick.
You get a solid introduction to our main cast and how they bounce off of each other.
You get a quick preview of different cool looking weapons the show is dealing with, from Junko's energy gauntlets, to his adorable missiles, to using various crystals that all have their own special abilities, to everyone having their own skimmers, the big bad ass ship that serves as the heroes' home base.
You get the weight of responsibility as they're compared to the team name they're inheriting.
You get their immaturity as we literally open on them treating their desired job as a game.
It's fast and effective work, and we haven't even gotten into the plot yet.
Speaking of plot, now that the Storm Hawks are sufficiently downtrodden and depressed, a real Skyknight shows up just to kick them while they're down. Carver of the Red Eagles.
Man is so dedicated to being a hater that he doesn't even care that his son is clearly high.
As you can see from his evil glare and unapologetic Star Wars reference, there's nothing nefarious about this man at all.
I do find it funny that Skyknight armour just seems to be some slabs of metal slapped on your chest and shoulder. There's a neat little detail that you can notice the Stormhawk's clothes having a lot of stitches in them, while other Skyknight's uniforms are in good condition.
We cut away to Cyclonia, the evil kingdom where the sky is perpetually red and stormy. Just in time for our villain, Master Cyclonis, to indulge in the age old trope of 'Villain explains all the information about their organisation to their lieutenants that already know this'. Cyclonia used to rule the world, then the Skyknights were created and kicked their asses, and we're dealing with the remnants of Cyclonia's next generation trying to reclaim their throne.
Killer Goth Wizard who speaks in a dry, bored tone about how she's going to plunge the world into an era of darkness. It's like if Raven from Teen Titans committed to the bit... and didn't have a interdimensional demon trying to possess her.
Having a hood that unfurls into spikey evil petals is just fucking cool.
She addresses her villain posse, Repton of Raptors (is this like calling a human character 'Herman of the Humans'?), Ravess (Sniper who uses her bow as a violin), Snipe (kid me didn't know the other meanings of Snipe, so I was just confused why the big dude who only fights with a mace was named after using a sniper rifle), and the main underling -- The Dark Ace.
No, Ace never gets a real name. At least, I'm assuming his first name isn't 'The' or 'Dark'.
In the intro of every other episode, we're told that Dark Ace was a former Skyknight who betrayed his team, but like... just look at this man. He was born to serve a dark wizard. And his voice would make a grocery list sound evil. Was he still called the Dark Ace back then? Or did he have a shitty name and joined up with Cyclonis for the rebrand?
Cyclonis' first act of business to show off to the audience comes when Repton, who represents the only people here who aren't Cyclonian, asks why his squad should help them. Cyclonis opens with a good argument about riches, before delivering a sterling point about not making him and his entire terra her bitches.
Repton agrees and Cyclonia reveals that she has a card up her sleeve, that isn't an Ace, but a Joker on Terra Atmosia who'll steal the most powerful crystal in the world that's kept guarded there.
It turns out that Carver is a bad guy, and we see him quickly kill- Freeze his squad and make for the tower. I swear, I've never seen the name Carver be given to any character that isn't going to be a douche.
He gets into the tower, takes out the guards and steals the 'Aurora Stone', this makes everything go dark and seemingly affects the weather. The Storm Hawks go to see what's up and, despite starting towards the tower from far away just after he'd already stolen the crystal, by the time they arrive Carver's still chilling in the crystal room. I guess he really wanted to make a dramatic confrontation.
Sorry Carver, but by rule of cool, two swords are always more badass. Also for rule of cool, none of the Stormhawks back Aerrow up against a, I'm assuming, veteran Skyknight.
But don't worry, right after Carver soundly kicks Aerrow's ass, he makes the mistake of calling Mcfly a chicken Aerrow a kid. Thus triggering Aerrow's special finisher.
Knowing that marketing is key, Aerrow's already calling this the 'Lightning Claw'. Apparently every Skyknight has a fighting game super move. Joking aside, Aerrow and Carver talk about it like a pre-existing move that Aerrow didn't realize he had, which might imply that it was Aerrow's father's move. Which implies powers might be genetic? Now I'm wondering if anyone can be a Skyknight with enough training or if all the Skyknights are born special or something.
But yeah, the move knocks Carver out, and they cuff him.
Pausing a moment to talk about missing potential here. You know how I mentioned the Dark Ace being a traitor before? Yeah, what I left out is that the Dark Ace was the second in command of the previous Storm Hawks, he killed Aerrow's father. Why do I say missed potential? Well, assuming my memory isn't too bad; this is never really brought up directly in the show outside of one line here. You only get it from future intros that quickly set up the premise. Like, you'd expect this to be an important thing to Aerrow and his future dynamic with Dark Ace, but no, it never comes up between them, Dark Ace is just Aerrow's rival. I don't think Ace even recognises Aerrow as the son of his old leader.
I bring it up here because I feel like it would have been a natural and interesting beat to have that come up with Carver. Another famed Skyknight that's turned traitor would hypothetically give Aerrow some flash backs.
Anyway, now that the Stormhawks have saved the terra from losing the most important relic in the world and fended off a rogue Skyknight, the elders approach them... to tell them that they need to go get the REAL Skyknights to help defend the terra and that they're still not Skyknights.
Cyclonis sends in the big guns to go get the stone, but for some reason, the camera focuses on some random Talon (Cyclonian footsoldiers) who is the only one with a unique design.
Hm. Weird.
Piper goes on about their route, cruelly telling Finn that they're going to Terra Tropica to get reinforcements, not catch waves. He even brought a surf board to the meeting.
They explain the importance of the aurora stone; it's powerful, it's the symbol of Atmos, and everything goes to hell if it's not on it's special pedastal.
The invasion is already underway and the Condor is already getting pounded. Also, I only learned this recently, but apparently the Cyclonian skimmers are called 'Switchblades', and I find that fucking adorable.
Everyone goes into panic mode. Piper is listing off random crystal properties trying to figure out something useful, Finn is duct taping every gun he can find to his ride, and Stork is writing out his will and testament.
Stork: "I, Stork, hereby bequeath all my worldly possessions- Bah, it's all going to get blown up anyway."
I like Junko just watching Finn stuff his tiny bike with giant canons and just going "Dude... That's... That's not gonna fly... What the fuck?"
I do like that, despite them complaining about being treated like children, they do continually prove how immature and unsure they are in the lead up to their first real battle outside of playing games. It shows them as out of their depth, but earnest, without making them come off as annoyingly reckless idiots.
Finn: "Just remember the plan."
Junko: "What's the plan?"
Finn: "Keep them away from the Terra."
Junko: "...That isn't a plan."
Finn and Piper spot the Dark Ace leading the charge and this is the only mention of him singlehandedly defeating the previous Storm Hawks.
Ravess is so cool that she literally has her soldiers follow her into battle playing her theme music. I like the idea that one of the requirements to become a Talon is 'Must be able to ride a sky bike whilst playing evil violin'.
She's the cold, snooty, superior yin to Snipe's, her brother, dim witted brute yang. As normal with most villain squad's back then, they all mirror the hero team. Aerrow/Ace, Cyclonis/Piper, Ravess/Finn, Junko/Snipe. Stork's a conspiracy theorist, so of course he's mirrored by the evil lizard people.
Dark Ace immediately gets to styling on Aerrow, casually jumping off his ride to land on Aerrow's wing. Bro's opening move was to assert that he's Sonic the Hedgehog and Aerrow's Tails. He grabs Aerrow by the throat, tells him that the only rule of Sky Duels is that the winner lives, throws his ass back down and then hops back onto his bike.
Honestly, if that were me, I'd just fold right there after such disrespect.
Junko punches a Talon's ride in half. Don't worry, nobody dies from fall damage in this show, we always focus on their parachutes. Just ignore that they're plunging into a lave-filled wasteland where giant monsters are waiting to eat them.
Good News: Junko was wrong, Finn's ride is able to fly. Bad News: he can't move or aim for shit on this thing.
I like when we're in a setting that has guns and mother fuckers are still like "No! Guns are for pussies. Bow and Arrow for life!"
I love this bit where Junko's rockets get stuck, so... he screams at them, making them pull scared faces and shoot off into Snipe. Screw a firing mechanism, I want to be so scary that bullets shoot off just to get away from me.
Snipe's taken down, but Finn has less luck with Ravess as she literally shoots his bolt out of the air and blows up his ride. He has a Wille E. Coyote moment of falling right into Junko's ride.
It's hard to show off in random gifs and images, but the dogfighting is pretty well done in this. It feels like the action is always moving, the camera movements give a good sense of weight and urgency and the choreography is engaging.
Every named character really gets to shine here, like Snipe and Ravess don't have any dialogue in this episode, but you get a good impression of what they're about just through how they engage Finn and Junko and how they're decked out. Dark Ace especially immediately shows you that he's a threat and entertaining in how he sadistically toys with Aerrow.
Dark Ace goads Aerrow into using his special move, which includes Aerrow jumping up into the air... and landing right in front of Ace on his skimmer. He soundly kicks Aerrow's ass and tosses him off.
Now, you've got your swords that turn into whips, and your swords that turns into guns. But do your swords turn into hand gliders? I THINK NOT!
Ace shows Aerrow a real special move and blows him out of the sky, forcing Aerrow to crash into the town square with everyone watching him get humilitated.
There is no recovering from this.
Ace takes the stone, really kicks everyone while they're down monologuing about their pathetic defence, their rogue Skyknight and sending a worthless, stupid kid to fight him.
The episode ends with the Elder repeating that the fate of Atmos lies in that crystal, and Aerrow swears that the Storm Hawks will retrieve it from Cyclonia themselves.
Overall, this opening episode gives a really strong first impression for the show:
Gives you enough groundwork for the setting to hit the ground running
Quickly shows off an array of cool abilities and technology that can be expanded upon in future
Gives you a taste of some solid vehicle/sword combat on the ground and in the sky
Wastes no time getting you endeared to a solid main cast of characters who actually banter with each other (as opposed to other shows I've watched where it feels like the writers are actively scared to have teenagers do anything other than constantly validate each other)
Leads with a strong introduction of the villains who immediately curb stomp the heroes and show off their fun eccentricities.
Coming back to Storm Hawks after so long, it's still pretty damn good and I'd recommend it if you haven't watched it. It's all up on youtube in... questionable quality because only a few episodes had a DVD release.
