For a human who has had to replace all of its body parts,
I understand.
Heal from all that you refrain from speaking about,
Because it harms the mind and the heart.
Whatever you wish to become you will be,
Because you replaced the parts you originally were already.
Because you were different.
Because you didn't like your own thoughts.
Because you found beauty of someone else.
Whatever the reason, you already replaced yourself.
With someone like you but not quite.
There will always be someone unable to see your worth.
Try not to let it be you.
----------------------
I wanted to go home, somewhere.
But home is not here.
I was lost in thought but sadly found my way back,
Where reality feels faker than my dreams,
And I find my way back to sleep.
Where the only through sanctuary would be our minds,
Because it tries to save us,
And sometimes, it still fails and makes us more and more upset.
Where every night, we switch realities. And we'd rather sleep than stay awake, because sleeping is the closest thing to dying, when we're afraid of it.
This house no longer feels like a home.
--------------------
You're a pretty thing.
It's okay to take a break once in a while.
Your mind may protest but that's natural.
Your legs feel stiff, so sit down.
Don't return to the real reality just yet, stay for longer.
You don't need to remember just yet the world you live in.
You need a break.
Do you want to stop time for a moment and continue resting?
You're not special or strange, there were several others who came before you.
Who bore the same experiences.
You're not alone.
Take a break, it's okay, no one will judge you but your mind and those ignorant to your distress.
The flowers bloom here, even in storms.
---------------------
''I care.''
''I always care.''
''That's my problem, can't you see?''
''So, I created this place.''
''To help others who are hurting.''
''Because it hurts to see them hurt.''
------------------
''You save everyone, but who saves you?''
''Myself.''
''And who deals your pain?''
''Myself.''
------------------
I don't want to be reminded of all I did wrong in the past.
I know I was a bad person, and that's why.
The history books tell my history,
And that's why I don't read them.
The flowers bloom in response to my memories,
And that's why I try not to grow them.
I want to apologize but I can't find the words.
Is it even worth apologizing anymore when it's been so long?
When I'm not sure if they remember I exist, or think all words are my lies.
Forgive me, I'm not good at saying sorry.
I just write it down instead in a page of a letter I will never send.
------------------
''You're not taking care of the flowers the right way.''
''I'm trying to learn.''
''The animals are overfed.''
''They seemed like they were still hungry.''
''The berries are rotting now.''
''Please be proud. I'm trying. I'm fucking trying.''
-------------------
Little Doll is still sleeping.
She's broken, and the doctor can't fix her either.
Was I raised without love?
Or was I just born unlovable.
-------------------
They may not remember it, but I repeat everything in my head everything they told me no matter how much time has passed.
