For the dialog prompts 26. “I think I’ve been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again.”
Set during HLV. This is a fill in scene, which I think we can all agree must have happened. Though, obviously it’s my own version of dialogue lol. And just fyi I’m adding a “back” into this sentence, because I just feel it needs to be there.
Molly’s night shift had just ended and visiting hours hadn’t started yet, so the floor was awfully quiet. His room in the ICU was too. Just the beeping of monitors.
It was a little disturbing at first, walking in and seeing him laying there perfectly still like that. Her stomach dropped a little as she crossed the threshold. Sherlock Holmes…completely helpless.
Molly approached the bed, quietly scooting a chair over so she could take a seat a bit closer. She hesitantly rested her hand on the bed. Not touching his, but very near.
“I’m…glad you’re ok,” she finally said aloud. “John called me after you’d already pulled through the worst of it so I figured I shouldn’t leave my shift. It was a bit busy down in the morgue.”
It was difficult not to focus on the bandage on his chest, and a chill of reality ran through her. “Thank God it didn’t get any busier,” she added.
She released a deep sigh, glancing at her left hand laying beside his. Her now naked left hand.
“Do you know, I was hoping you wouldn’t come to the wedding,” Molly blurted out suddenly. She watched his face, being sure there was no change before continuing.
“That was one of the moments that made me realize I was being an idiot. I kept hoping your rsvp would arrive and that you’d decline.” She shook her head at herself. “I had convinced myself that marrying Tom was the right thing to do, but at the same time I hoped I didn’t have to look out into the crowd at the church or at the reception…and see your eyes looking back at me.”
Molly’s voice faltered and she stopped for a moment. She sniffled and let out a little laugh.
“I mean, isn’t that the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard? I guess it helped me realize that if I couldn’t look you in the eyes and marry Tom, then I shouldn’t marry Tom at all. It shouldn’t have mattered who was or wasn’t there. It should have just been about us. But it wasn’t.”
She laughed again and smiled at her unresponsive friend. “Sorry, I dunno why I’m telling you this right now. I guess maybe I just…I just wanted you to understand why I’d been trying to keep some distance in this past year since you’ve been back in London. I think I was trying-“ Her lips hung open, but she couldn’t quite continue.
Molly drew in a deep breath slowly while inching her fingers over to wrap around his. She leaned down, taking a break from speaking and simply laid her cheek on the top of his hand for a moment, shutting her eyes briefly before finally straightening up again and releasing it.
“Well anyway,” she said more brightly, standing abruptly and putting the chair back in its place. “Sorry I didn’t bring anything like flowers. I did consider bringing one of your favorite jars of preserved remains from Bart’s pathology museum, but figured the museum and ICU staff might just take issue with that.” She giggled to herself, amused by the idea of such an ironic piece of “get well” decor.
He would have appreciated it though.
“So…I guess I’ll see you later then. Call me if you need anything- I mean, not that you can now but…soon. I’ll be here.”
Molly stopped on her way through the doorway though, catching her hand on the frame and forcing herself to turn back again.
“Listen, what I was gonna say before was um…that I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”
She paused, releasing a puff of air, feeling good that she’d said it out loud- admitted it to herself and him. Though…she wasn’t done confessing.
“But that was pretty silly of course. I realize that now. Because, well, that would suggest that at some point I fell out of love,” she whispered, the hint of a smile playing at her lips now. “And that’s never happened.”
