#tbt The night that I was FINALLY FULLY comfortable in my skin. It was a Friday night and I was headed to a party downtown by myself. I had been amping myself to go to this party since I learned of it. I didn’t care who was going to show up as long as my favorite dj was going to be there. I fell in love with Dj Anarchy’s sound ever since I attended the Edubalicious Treats farewell event at Project Row House in 3rd Ward. I couldn’t wait to let myself vibe out to the music and be free. So as usual as the day got close I tried to convince myself to back out.
I had gone through a lot in the last 6 months and so has my body. I don’t even want to know how much weight I’ve gain since January and I’m not even going to stress myself by caring. I just knew I was growing uncomfortable that my body had changed and that those cute crop tops I could fit last December weren't going to cut it at this party. Now mind you this isn’t one of those bourgeois parties thats all over the scene in Houston. You know the ones. Extra made up women, extra dressed up men all standing around to look at each other to be all ....extra. This was a party where people are all dancing and really mingling and I wanted to be there.
One of the things I promised myself besides going out more was self acceptance. Coincidentally, I saw this video on IG by @_autumnskky_ who made a viral video about the “IG Bra”. She is an entertainer and comedian who made a video about how this bra is suppose to support even large size breasts. Now I have a love-hate relationship with my breast. I have nourished two babies with my body but I hate the way they hold me down when I am trying to run on the treadmill. I have the HARDEST time finding a bra that actually fits. I could go on and on but really that’s another post for another time and I have work in a few hours.
So anyway I saw this Empress on IG being admired by thousands of people who just loved the video and embraced who she was. She wasn't model thin or an ultra famous sex siren but she was very beautiful and a “plushy” like me. What I admired about her was how she embraced how her body and her self confidence came through in every picture and in every video. I decided to reach out to her by sending her a dm and she gave me the pep talk everyone should have with a stranger online. I felt empowered and courageous and I decided I would wear what I want. Hell,I am a grown ass woman and as long as I am comfortable who gives a fuck right?
The time came and I got dressed. I gave myself a good look in the mirror and thought, “This is about having a good time and coming out of your shell. You don't have to act extra this or that. Just be yourself. You are enough”.
Needless to say I had a great time. The music was live and so was the party. I even set a trend. It was so hot in there that when the other ladies saw my bra top they started to take off there shirts and wear their bra tops too. Nobody gave a fuck about what I had on...well...except for the fine ass security guard at the door lol