#stray rambles

[straytheskies]

its scary to turn ur pc on and see this on ur desktop

[yawnderu]

I think a lot about König's “with you until the end” voice line. In case you don’t play multiplayer —or COD—, every character has at least one special voice line whenever you’re watching your teammate's back. Most of them are extremely simple, such as “watching your six” and “with you, mate”, but this dramatic motherfucker just HAS to say he’s with you until the end. I hate that man

[straywolfen]

Reminiscent.

What does it mean to be alive? What does it mean now that you're gone? It's your birthday in less than an hour. My life feels like it derailed the day you died. Nothing holds as much joy as it used to. I worry it will be like this forever. I think of you so much. I've been through grief before, but not like this. I've lost someone before. Yet its not the same. The hole in my chest yawns wider with each rotation of the sun. Two years. Why does it feel like a lifetime?

[coyotesinew]

Some rambling about my personal feelings towards the Holothere/holotherianthropy label.

will put it under a cut since it's looong!

I really want to like this label. I wish it felt like it worked for me. on and off I consider it, but there's always something that's causing a hangup. I do feel like there's some sort of physical aspect of my identity, or at the very least that my identity reaches into the physical world to an extent as a result of my own actions. But I feel like something about claiming that specifically apart from how I already exist, i.e. under the labels "therian" or "nonhuman" Just feels...wrong?

I don't know, I guess I just don't really see why I would need a different word. I understand that there's parameters to each of these different words, they all mean different things even if it's similar, I see why it would make sense to have more specifically denote that there's a physical aspect of your identity. But at the same time, I feel like the possibility of me having a physical aspect of my identity shouldn't be outside of the realm that nonhuman or therian covers. By claiming physicality through the word holothere, does that not imply that you cannot claim to be a therian if your experience is physical in any way? I told someone "I am an animal", it wouldn't then be surprising if I told them there are aspects of my animal experience that exist in communication with my physical body.

I think it's just my want for simplicity, everything already feels overcomplicated. I don't want to complicate things more. I don't need to describe each specific thing that I experience separately, especially when all of these things are experienced together and in relationship with each other.

does the fact that my experience reaches into the physical realm change the base experience that I'm having which is "I am an animal"? Do the physical experiences I have somehow strip me of my therian identity? Of course not. What am I really trying to communicate? Am I trying to communicate that I am an animal? Am I trying to communicate that I am *seriously* an animal in all aspects of my life, including physically? Do I have to denote publicly with a label that I feel that my identity is physical? I think that it's quite personal for me. If I want to talk about my physical experiences, I can just speak about them candidly and say things like "I experience my identity physically to X extent"

do I feel like a coyote in body and mind? I'd have to say that I do. But what's my hangup about saying that I have the physical body of a coyote? honestly, it may stem from dysphoria. Something hurts when I tell myself that I have a physical body of a coyote, because in actuality, I know that biological existence as a coyote is impossible for me. something about claiming That Specifically, hurts a little bit more than claiming everything else.

is it because I'm just not used to it? It certainly could be. I spent years having hangups about claiming my nonhumanity to any degree, be it mentally, psychologically, etc. Maybe it's just a matter of time, if I say it more often, I might be more comfortable. Do I just feel like I'm not allowed to claim my physical experiences? What makes someone allowed to claim this? This is a situation of self selection, no one gives you the go-ahead. I think that if anything it's just the word itself. Extra words bog things down, and I don't want to be bogged down.

if I had to say it in the most comfortable way for me, I would say I am coyote in mind and body, physically and non-physically, artistically, and emotionally. I think that's enough.

[straypuppet]

Y'all don't know how excited I am for this.

Marvin is one of my favorite egos and I love him so much.

This is the stuff that makes me happy I decided to become a theorist. I absolutely love theorizing with y'all and reading theories that everyone has about these boys.

I honestly don't know what else to say because my brain is just so excited right now.

[bloody-red-bats]

You know, having quietly (for the most part) been following DC Comics for the past few months, I noticed I wasn’t as heated about certain topica as others on this site (as much as I would agree with their points). One specific topic is the whole Ric Grayson situation.

Mostly I felt it was just a weird but maybe palatable blip in Nightwing’s continuity. A decent concept with poor excecution (started by one Lobdell—also noticed a lot of people attributing the arc to him when he hasn’t even written for the book in months. It’s Dan Jurgens now, guys. Gotta say the Court of Owls bit was an interesting turn—at a glance at least). I mean, it’s tough when the big continuity-impacting event happens outside your own book. I feel bad for the trade collectors.

Anyway, micro-rant aside, there was one effect of this run that has impacted my subconscious in unexpected ways. I see Nightwing art everywhere, but somehow in the back of my brain I couldn’t really identify it as Nightwing the same way I see any instance of a red helmet and think: Red Hood. I took it for granted, I guess. Which was something I didn’t realize until chapter 82 of My Hero Academia: Vigilantes (spoilers, cos it’s endgame).

Koichi is up against a duplicitous villain whose motivations remain unknown, until this chapter reveals just what this man is up to. It’s full on Syndrome effect, orchestrating a situation that would paint him a hero. In the context of MHA, it makes perfect sense. Public approval ratings are a thing here.

Of course, nothing about his full costume reveal raised any flags. And this is a series that introduced the Batman to All Might’s Superman. Is a Batfamily fan, I should have noticed right? I didn’t.

Arguably, it’s maybe because it wasn’t in colour? Blue on black would definitely signal Nightwing, but when I read this chapter of My Hero Academia: Vigilantes I had a weird familiarty tickle my brain. But mostly, I went, “Huh interesting costume choice.” And left it at that.

Until I saw the translator’s tweet:

Am I blaming cultural osmosis of Nightwing’s effective disappearance from the main continuity? Maybe. But it’s really just a ramble and an appreciation for a story I’ve been enjoying and embracing the comics I love. And yes, I also missed the Death of the Family reference just one panel after this. A crime, because if this rant has proven anything it’s that I’m a Jason Todd fan who should have seen that, at least.

Maybe I’m just tired. Tired enough to not second think posting this random ass post. If you got this far, thanks I guess?

[glitchedpup]

More  Rambles to Anubis

Great and Powerful Lord Anubis who guides the souls to the West.

Great is your strength, Endless is your power, Mighty in heart and mind and body.

You are the shepherd of the lost souls, you are the mender of the broken , you are the great embalmer of whom teaches and preserves many.

You hold the keys to the gates of the Duat, keeping those inside safe from those who would do them harm. You measure the hearts with utmost precision upon your scale so that each soul is given their due.

I long to be beside you, Father. Even to be knelt before you and allowed to utter worship and love fills my heart with joy and peace. 

I know you wish to see me hold my head up high once more, but often, i do not feel worthy to be called your daughter. I am a child of tragedy who has been bestowed a gift well beyond my worth. I was given parents that raised me with love and guidance beyond measure.  I was given rank. Protection. 

Had that great tragedy not occurred, where would i be now? Who would I be? what would i be?

You who protects and rules over the Duat. Who is both firm and righteous in his ways.

Keeper of Balance and Beloved of Countless, Keep me close to you even as words fail me. Keep my close even when my actions are incorrect.

Keep me and hold me close. Guide me.

I love you Dad

Stray

[strayingkat]

Saving Sam being Lara's driving motivation for most of the game is amazing. She learnt to survive and tanked near-fatal injuries through the power of raw lesbianism.