Busy busy busy $$$$
I haven't been on Tumblr much lately. Last week I worked 60+ hours in 8 days. By Sunday I was loopy with exhaustion and off my game. Some idiot tried to not pay me for the 6 dances he owed me. Now, at my club we stack dances and there usually is no issue-- however I've learned my lesson and my manager was able to get me $80 of what was owed and I tipped him out ridiculously well. I have never had an issue beyond getting ripped off like $20. I was so tired I couldn't even get mad. It would have taken too much energy. I had to work so hard because I found out I owed a lot in taxes (I claim a fair amount because I want to build good credit for a house/car). What I owe in taxes wouldn't be such a pain if I hadn't had a procedure done in January that cost me $4,200. So I overworked myself and had to sit out on Monday, which is a shift I have been doing well on. I woke up this morning to a text from my old best regular from the dayshift. This guy was probably worth $300 to $600/week for me. Our customer/dancer relationship felt way too bf/gf for me. He wanted texts and pictures, constantly wanting more and more. I would spend like 6 hours with this man to get about $100 an hour. He undervalued my time and expected a tip top performance. At night for half an hour in VIP I charge $250. One hour gets me $500. I'm just over here laughing because in his text the regular was asking if I quit dancing. In his mind I was banking off him every week and if I wasn't working day shifts anymore it MUST be because I've quit dancing. I texted back that I'm still at the same club, working 4 to 5 night shifts a week ;) Idiot. I don't want your grabby disgusting money for discount gfe. I have spent so many hours with this man that it became an "intimacy breeds contempt" situation. He's 70yrs old and acts like a spoiled, whiny little boy. I'm a workaholic and I hate how cheesy that word is because I mean it sincerely. Work feeds my need for control and my obsession with feeling monetarily "safe" (it's just a mirage, I never feel safe financially). I am really stressed out right now because I have my first doctors appointment next week for a chronic condition that has plagued me for 10 years. I'm worried the doctor won't take me seriously or at the last minute they won't accept my insurance. I also just sent two applications for different schools in my area and I'm so nervous. When I'm nervous my ocd behaviors and rituals act up immensely. I go to therapy and acupuncture once a week and I actively work on self care every day. Self care is my full time job. Dancing is my other full time job. It feels good to word vomit. I feel emotionally lighter.