It's a shark. That talks. And answers your questions. What more could you want? A bear?
I've decided to change how I review blogs. No more final score. I realize that it doesn't give off the right message. I'll still give a 10 score system for Arts, Stories, Characters, and Accountabilities, but not Overall Accomplishment. The final score thing simply doesn't convey the success or accomplishments of a blog but rather gives a sense of pressure and pushes down artists. Just like the public school system. Oh no he didn't! Oh yes he did!
Art Quality:
Do you know the beauty of having simple cartoons? It's so far from realistic that it's perfect. The pictures display events perfectly, bodies make sense, and colors are good. I can't say it's impressive by any means, but I can't say there is anything inherently wrong with it either. The only thing I can say is that sometimes outlines are sloppy. That's basically it. Keep up the good work!
Overall: 7/10
Story Structure:
The blog has no story. No score.
HOWEVER, I can say a few things about this subject.
The blog has no premise. That is to say, it's kind of just there. The audience doesn't even know where it's taking place - it can't be assumed that the shark is in the o'chin. It's almost as if it's a comic in the funny section of the Newspaper.
This isn't to say that it's not bad. In fact, having a comedic blog would require such an environment. But you still have to ask yourself; are you running off a gag, culture, or its own world? A gag would be something like - using an example I would think you get - Molestia. It's a short term joke on a popular character which can be funny, but only for so long because it can't evolve. It could be based on culture like Family Guy or possibly South Park. This has more potential to last longer, but it also means your world must strictly reflect the real world. Plus, it's only as interesting as the culture itself. Finally, it can be based on its own world like any sort of Fantasy icon you can think of. Now it can last as long as you can put imagination to it and have a chance to be extremely enthralling, but the jokes if they aren't allusions are all internal which restricts a vast audience. However, there's an alternative to its own world - it could be the weirdest possible world you can think of for the sake of it being a joke. There was this old anime called Bobobo-Bobo-Bobobobo, and that was a weird fuckin show. It of course had its own world, but it was so left field that one could simply watch any episode from any point and it'd still be funny.
Of course there are exceptions to all of those. Just take those into consideration if you ever decide to put some sort of story onto it.
No score
Characters:
There isn't a lot to say about your shark, but that isn't necessarily a good thing. For instance, the shark from what I can tell doesn't even have a name. It seems to only exist as a gag, which in a sense it pretty weak. It only exists for the sole purpose of being laughed at, but a stooge is only funny for so long.
However, I can see there's not much to work with either. After all, it is a shark... I'm not sure if you even want to give any depth whatsoever. It's a shark. What more could I possibly want? right? The only thing I could give ya is give him some more concrete personality traits and likes. It gives you more things to play with when making jokes. Have him be a super jock but a total klutz or something. I don't know. He's your shark.
Overall: 6/10
Accountability:
Wait, how long ago did he update?
...Okay?
So I can only assume you update VERY frequently. That's good!
However, your mod blog is... well... dead. Your deviantart isn't looking to hot either.
It's good that you produce a lot of product, but I'm not sure if you talk to your audience enough. Or, at least, give an easy access for communication.
Overall: 7/10
Overall Accomplishment:
(Answers edited for better grammar)
1.) Why did you make the blog in the first place?
My main character is a shark because it is by far my favorite animal, and I found it kind of original.
Original it was. I mean, what more reason do you need than to draw a shark? Right? SHARKS!
2.) What were your intentions with the blog?
I thought about a funny blog with bad jokes and whatever else to make ppl smile - where they can forget their problems. Also I wanted to practice my art.
Mission accomplished.
3.) What keeps you motivated for the blog?
The nice questions I get. And sometimes I can forget school, homework, and work with this shark . It give me a break.
Oh good! Good to hear the blog doubles as a catharsis for you AND entertains people. This means we'll see more, no?
4.) What are you plans for the blog?
I’m planning to do a story for him and telling ppl about his past with …more seriousness, and continuing to answer questions. That's all for the moment.
Well like I said before, think about what you want from the blog and think about how you want to structure the blog. Take in mind how serious you can actually get with... well.. as shark. But at any rate, good luck with that!
Over all, I'd say the blog's doing juuuuuuuuuust fiiiiiiiiiine. You get...
cheese! Congratulations! And the best of luck with ya!
Word to the wise: tags are great. They are very very great. They'll help you get popular and more importantly make your blog much more accessible thus allowing the blog to be more cluttered. Don't allow the blog to be too cluttered though.
What you wanna do is have a specific tag for specific aspects for the blog like answered asks, rp sessions, story lines, etc. Because if I have to sift through months worth of cluttered posts that don't seem to have rhyme or reason, I get irritated. It's a horrible horrible bias, I know, but I got the attention span of about 20 secs, and unless I fine some sort of followable order my eyes glaze over.
So for now on, clutter will count towards Story Structure since it affects how the story is perceived. If the blog is too cluttered or lacks tags, I'm marking it down - I'm not going to try to organize or interpret the blog for you.
PS: I am a dick and I apologize, but my decision still stands.
"I'm a lecturer in History and Philosophy at Equestria's most prestigious University. Why in Eris' name do I need a tumblr?"
Oi! Smirk! Your recent story updates were untagged. Just thought I'd point that out. Anyways ~
Art Quality:
I feel this section is going to be mostly tongue tied because I know something is wrong, but I'm not experienced or learned enough to express what it is.
Just to clarify, the art is good. If someone didn't think it was impressive, they'd be lying. However, I think that the fact that it's good creates it's own problem. "Wuht?" you might ask. Well, I mean this is in the most polite way possible, but the art ventures into "The Uncanny Valley."
Simply put, it's when some item, object, or even artificially person reaches a certain point of likeness to an actual person, but it's still not perfect. The result is something that's close to real, but its flaws become more noticeable. Much like the game L.A. Noir where the faces were extremely realistic but the bodies were less. This caused the characters to be more or less creepy due to the illusion of real heads on puppet bodies.
You see, your shading, hair, and eyes are top notch. However, perspective and outlines are... lacking. It seems like, if I can describe this well enough, the base of the face is a flat, full profile. However, the snout goes off as if it was a 1/2 profile as well as the ears. Another thing that adds to that uncanny valley is that more often than not, your ponies tend to have... long faces *snicker* Nononono, but seriously, the faces are too vertically long. Remember, ponies aren't human. That isn't to say add defination to the chin and brow - if anything I would encourage it as it makes for better expressioning. However, I wouldn't extend the head to make it more human. Ponies are made of rainbows, sugar, and more importantly circles. Keep the face as circular as possible. I would suggest
(I've been waiting to use this gif for a long time)
Overall: 7/10
Story Structure:
If anyone has the time to go through the bits of story on the blog, do it.
The blog has very clear progression and sets up for really good conflict. I think this has something to do with the simple yet clever premise. It might just be me, but I really do like the college professor stumbling across conspiracies. It sets itself up to be a smart story - something that challenges perceptions and makes sense of the otherwise silly nature of Equestria. However, setting and continuity could use some work. Just some.
For instance, most of the story takes place in the same, cramped, dark office. Up until recent updates, there weren't many intervals outside that office, and not much was happening within. But when we were out of there, we were in some other place with the same color scheme. Now, ignoring the fact that in recent updates we are in a completely new setting - which is good - the fix to being in the same setting is relatively simple. It goes to live action plays where transitioning settings was near impossible - something that I had to do when directing my own play in college. I had to put on a full hour play within a single apartment (The play was "Underpants" if anyone was curious - Yes, it's a real play). The trick was to make the setting interesting. We used all the space given to its fullest extent. Paintings, doors, a kitchen, and more importantly we shifted the focus of the audience by having the actors be in different parts of the stage. You have an office - use it. Put it cabinets, bookshelves, paintings. The great thing about it is that you only need to draw them once, right?
The other thing was continuity. Now, again, I don't mean the story saying one thing before and another thing now. It means that the story makes sense within the context of the setting: the setting being Equestria. It's important to remember that Equestria isn't related to the real world. Yes, I know that Hasbro likes to put in modern technology that's made for humans in the MLP franchise, but does that really make sense? It doesn't. Now, some tools, appliance, and toys are going to be similar or identical to stuff we have because it's simple and it wouldn't really work if made in any other way like pipes, ovens, pots, bowls, smoking pipes, cigars, toy blocks - stuff like that. Things like forks, knives, doorknobs, gloves, and shoes are questionable since they were made for human use. However, things that simply can't happen are trademarks, brands, and popular icons.
Like this. They're a bunch of conspiracy symbols which given the story makes sense at first. But thinking about it on a broader scale reveals that there is no way for these symbols to even exist. The groups that are represented can't be in Equestria since they only arose out of our specific history. There can't be Templars, Masons, Lodges, Christians, Muslims, Catholics - if it's a named, iconic group of any kind, they can't exist. Can you give subtle references to them? Sure, but it can't be direct. Enough to give a Har Har but not enough to state it being canon. And if there is some major iconic group in Equestria that's in some other "universe," it needs to be explained.
Overall: 8/10
Characters
Prof Smirk isn't anything new, but he's definitely not bad in the slightest. In fact, he's quite lovable - or admirable. Anything that needs to be said about him, however, can be found in any other character type of his nature - the hardboiled detective. But again, it's not bad at all. They're relatable, snarky, and just all together fun to watch. Though, if you want, you could take a look at that page and say, "These characters typically do this, so let's NOT do it." Just make sure not to ruin the given character.
Now, given that you're doing a good job, I think it's time to do even a better job. You've got good, distinct characters. Now give them objectives. Have them want something - something specific if they're main characters. Once that's in place, have them work off each other. When Smirk is interacting with another character, have him make the other characters feel something in order to get what he wants. Trust me, when you have this in the back of the mind you'll be able to write more powerful scenes.
Overall: 9/10
Accountability:
For the actual updates, it takes about a week for them to come around. That's completely fine. The updates have plenty of content, and I would guess it takes time to come up with them. The blog has some clutter, but not too much to ruin the flow. However, the mod blog seems a bit quiet. I don't know if people don't go there often enough to strike conversation, but it's too quiet. There's only about one reblog everyday which is enough to show you're alive, but I don't know if you're communicating with your follower base enough. Follower base, as harsh as this may sound, aren't just your close friends or other blogs you like. Not accusing you - I don't even know if you are or not - just saying. Beeeeeee open.
Overall: 9/10
Overall Accomplishment:
I'm going to be changing the format of this a bit. What I'm going to do is ask this set of questions for people, copy paste their answers, and add a rebuttal. SO.
Why did you make the blog in the first place?
"Hmm… I made the blog because it seemed like a good way of actually teaching myself art and storytelling, while giving me a solid means of motivating myself and measuring progress. Up until July of last year I didn’t do any art or writing at all, and I’ve only been putting significant effort into it since starting the ask blog." Well that's good to hear! I really do like it when people practice something that keeps them motivated. So long as you keep yourself motivated, you're doing great.
What were your intentions with the blog?
"My intentions with the blog started quite simply; I wanted to basically put across my “counterpoint” to MLP:FiM, as I love the show, but didn’t see how an argumentative and opinionated sod like me would fit in to that world. From that… well it kind of spiraled out of control. I now have a story planned out from start to finish, and my main goal is to finish it (which looks like it will take me a couple of years) and actually develop my small cast of characters. I still like to occasionally use the blog to put across my own rather warped ideology though. :D" We're on the same plane with the counterpoint. I really like when it when people challenge a show's given perspective on the unknown or one dimensional stereotype. I'm looking forward to seeing it finished.
What keeps you motivated for the blog?
"My motivation is twofold: fun and progress. I have an obscene amount of fun working on updates, and I can compare posts separated by days and always see some area where I’ve improved. I know I’m not brilliant at this, but I’ve got a hell of a lot better, and I aim to continue doing so." That's good, but keep in mind of the audience. I believe having your audience as a motivator will help as well. They're the ones giving you feedback and basically giving your work meaning. But also keep things fun. Why do something that's not fun for free?
What are you plans for the blog?
"Plans for the blog…. hmmm… how to put this without giving out spoilers… Well, the story as a whole is going to be about Smirk breaking out of the rut he’s stuck in. I think I’ve made it clear that he’s not particularly happy with who he is and what he does, but he lacks the motivation to do anything about it. He’s going to find that motivation through various avenues, both from within and from without. I have no intention of making it easy for him; he will not succeed at everything, and there are a couple of points I have planned that will come damn close to breaking him. All in all, it’s a pretty small scale story, but I’m going to link it in with a lot of big stuff too, if that makes any sense.
I also plan on continuing to refine the standard of my work and the techniques used, and by the end of the story I plan on having gained the skills to produce a graphic novel. I also plan on finding the golden mean for cryptic foreshadowing. Right now it feels like every time I try to hint at something people either get it straight away or have no clue that I’m even trying :P" Hell yeah! But remember what I said about objectives. Give him something he wants to accomplish. Also challenge the perceptions of your audience with MLP. You've set yourself up for a really smart, Film Noir style story. Good luck!
Overall: 10/10
Final Score: 43/50
I really do like the blog, Smirk! You've got yourself a top notch blog! Really looking forward for some cool things! The only thing I would really concern myself over is the art. Keep the head circular more than anything and work on perspectives. It'll look so much better if you do!
Most of us who run or have run an ask blog actively encourage people to ask a question. Some of us don't care what weird comment gets dropped in, and others specifically want questions that concern the story. However, it seems hardly anyone has considered who we're getting questions from. Yes, we're getting them from Tumblr users, but who are they in the story? Given he context of the world, they appear as mystical little bubbles that the characters just accept their existence. But we forget that people who send in asks are actual characters in the story. They are there to steer the story and define elements within the plot. So it's only fair that they get some sort of identity or reason of being, right?
For instance, in my blog Ask-LordSheogorath, the askers are undefined followers of The Daedric Prince of madness most likely from Nirn or the Shivering Isles. Their existence lies with a crystal ball, a made up Daedric Artifact, that is telepathically linked to Sheogorath. Only he can hear the asks. Given his character, it would make sense that he would hear voices in his head. Another example is the blog I'm-not-pinkiepie where the asks come from a journal. When someone reads the journal, the asks are brought into existence. Though their physical form is unexplained, it plays a comedic role as they bother the main characters. Even in the popular blog Discorded Whooves, the asks are explained through the TARDIS which telepathically communicates with the main character. No one else hears or sees the asks, but the Doctor does.
What do you guys think? Is it too much to ask for more minute details such as the background for asks, or do you think it's fair that these pivotal plot devices get an explanation?
Cloud Chaser is like any other pony who wants to fly - only she's a unicorn. Her goal is a simple one - to fly among the Pegasi. Only, it's not as simple as it seems.
Art Quality:
Alright, just gonna apologize first. I know, this is going to come off as mean, and I really don't mean to be mean, you know what I mean? ...Mean... Mean is the mean word that I use- NONONO okay getting back on track.
So to be quite frank, I don't really know what's going on here.
I mean, it seems like each one of these are drawn by different people, and there's no real sense of improvement. I'm not sure if you're going for the show's style or making one on your own. But that last picture - it looks almost exactly like Twilight sparkle with a recolor - I would even shoot a guess that some of these pictures you trace.
This is the latest thing that was drawn, right? On a perspective level, it leaves a lot to be desired. Using my handy-dandy mouse on the ever-so-faithful MS paint (SAI wasn't working and I'm too lazy to be bothered), I attempted to draw out a simple grid on the perspective. It's a 3/4 facing stage left (right), but Cloud Chaser's front, left leg is farther away from the shot than the back left leg, and that leg is bigger than the right, back leg. To add, that tail is unusually small - so is the ear but I forgot to circle that. But instead of badgering on running the chance to make a mistake myself, I found this nifty little anatomy chart.
^ If you follow this, the ponies will look much more natural. And by follow, I don't mean trace. I don't want to see anything that looks EXACTLY like something depicted in this picture.
Overall: 3/10
Story Structure:
Do you even know
how long I was scrolling through the blog looking for the beginning? 21 pages!
I strongly urge future story updates to be tagged. Tags are your best friends. Make yourself a nifty button on the blog - this REALLY helps.
^ But of course, that has nothing to with story. Honestly speaking, the story isn't that bad. It's hard to follow due to all the clutter, but it's got an exposition, reasonable rising action, and it's heading somewhere. Nothing screams to be directly breaking canon, and it definitely follows the innocent style of the show. But if you could clean the blog up (Or even restart it - this may be a preferred option), the story would be so much easier to follow.
Overall: 7/10
Characters:
So it seems Cloud Chaser is the only character on the blog, but surprisingly it's working out well.
She's definitely a very lovable character, and her own objectives work against herself very well. Honestly all the blog needs is Cloud Chaser. She's the protagonist and antagonist fighting against odds. She's a sympathetic character, but not pitiful. Within the environment, her character is fairly realistic and wonderfully persistent. But, I could have sworn I've seen these colors befo-
Oh... *cough cough*
Whelp, not much you could do now... but seriously white is so overused for poni-
OKAY SO I MADE A WHITE PEGASUS WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL-
wait what was I doing?
oh yeah - Cloud Chaser is good, but you may want to add some more characters.
Overall: 9/10
Accountability:
Ehhhh... yeah I think there's no need to harp on this. Last thing drawn was 7 moths ago. Last post two months ago. No mod blog. No Description. Whelp.
Overall: 3/10
Overall Accomplishment:
"Part of the reason this blog was started was to record my progress over time- and keep me drawing..."
I just... I just don't want to say anything? I feel as if you know that, you know... I don't want to come off as a complete ass, but the blog has a lot to be desired, the progress is wanting, and the art isn't all there...
Overall: 5/10
Final Score: 27/50
Do not fret, child. There is much hope! But there is much to do! Definitely one thing to do is sit down and art like mad. I don't even care what you draw - just gotta do it! Next, the blog has a lot a lot a lot a lot of clutter. You said yourself it's Cloud Chaser's blog, so only have Cloud Chaser in it. Don't post other people's stuff, don't reblog unnecessary, just keep it simple. Your art and Cloud Chaser only. Add a story button - tag your stuff. You know, stuff that makes the blog all the more accessible. You want to attract people like me - people who have the attention span of a hamster.
Sky High is a Pegasus that lives in Ponyville. Her special talent is the ability to fly at very extreme altitudes. Whenever she's not helping out with the weather, she's delivering mail.
Art Quality:
As far as basic anatomy goes, I can't find anything wrong. The bodies make sense, the color palette of the ponies are good, and over-all the art is consistent. However, the scenes are, quite frankly, boring. The backgrounds are similar gradients of blue and nothing else. Sky High herself seems to blend in with the background.
Also, not much of a complaint, but
I can't help but see similarities between this blog and frigid drift. Might be just me though (I am sick at the time of writing).
Overall Art: 8/10
Story Structure:
The story is... hm...
I mean, it's not bad... but...
It fails to be gripping. There's not much of a proper exposition. Here's this character, and suddenly she's in love with a nobody. Then it goes through a series of events that go by way too fast. The story is too short for its own good. The only proper story telling happened with the cutie mark flashback. It was well placed and the narrative was more interesting. And as far as a mini story goes, it had a good exposition, rising action, climax, and resolution. The rest of the blog, however, doesn't seem to fit. There's not much rising action, and it doesn't seem to be heading anywhere.
And this is just me, but I personally don't much care for character inclusion like
and
For the first picture, the presence of the characters that asked those questions aren't explained. It's a story section, but within the story no one should be with Sky High - she's locked in her room. Their appearance makes no sense and breaks the setting of isolation that was previously set up. For the latter, these characters are from other blogs, right? But again, their appearance doesn't make sense. There is no correlation from those blogs to Sky High. Ultimately, the characters don't do anything. They do not drive the story or contribute to the story's main characters. It's poor filler.
Overall Story Structure: 5/10
Characters:
There's something to be said about the foil between Sky High and Earthbound. Sky High's special talent is exceeding heights above any other Pegasus, while Earthbound can't fly. There is an obvious tension there - especially learning that Earthbound was the driving force behind Sky High's special talent. The main characters do compliment each other very well, and they're all very likable. I would like to see more of Sunny - she's got a distinct personality. Possibly more from the foil between Earthbound and Sky High - I would be attacking their differences like mad.
Overall Characters: 9/10
Accountability:
Unfortunately, if it wasn't for the message given by Sky High, I would have thought the blog to be dead. There were some sketches posted two weeks ago at time of writing, and the bulk of the story is a year old with some stuff in between - some clutter, some not. However, it seems the time between any sort of post on the blog is about two weeks? Which is fine, but not a lot happens. To add, the mod blog is dead, which isn't good. I know, I know. Life issues. But I feel there could definitely be a better connection between your follower base and yourself. As it looks as of now, the blog is running out of steam.
Overall Accountability: 6/10
Overall Accomplishment:
Well I can't deny the popularity the blog's assumed. It seems the blog gets a lot of attention, though I don't know if that's because of promotion for posts or by the blog's own follower base. It does seem Pirate Dash and Frigid Drift has taken a liking to the blog. That's a good thing I guess? I don't know, some people couldn't give two shits about that, and others would make posters out of the occasion and decorate their walls with it. I really should have gotten some insight before making this one, but if I procrastinate any longer I'm going to forget to make this review. So I'm going to assume that progress is proportional to the amount of followers, and you do have a good amount of followers
Overall: 10/10
Final Score: 38/50
So in the memorable words of Scarf Guy, "It's not bad, but it's not good either." I feel like you could bring a lot more to the blog. But what I would stress out the most is open up that mod blog of yours. What good is a story if the writer doesn't know the readers? Get to know the people that follow the blog and expand on what keeps them interested.
And I would also recommend finding where you want your blog to go. Think of a good resolution to the blog - or future climaxes if you want the blog to be continuous. Whichever you want, find a direction you want to go and get the blog rolling. GIVE ME STEAM! AND HOW YOU FEEL TO MAKE IT REAL! Real as anything you've seen! GET A LIIIIIIIIIFE WITH THIS DREAMER'S DREAM!
This blog portrays the life of Sparky the (sort of) Squirrel, her life, and friends. She's punk, kinky, and more likely than not trying to get into your pants at the moment.
Art Quality
The art varies from time to time, and it's obviously dependent on how motivated the moderator is. But suffice to say, none of it is bad.
The pictures can be like this - quick, easy, simple. Even as hasty as they are, they're still clear, still portray the characters in a reasonable manner, and are pleasing to look at.
And sometimes, the art will come out like this.
An absolute masterpiece in my opinion. Yes, there are still some lapsed processes and missing details in the picture, but it's still amazing.
Overall, 9/10
Story Structure
If you're looking for a narrative with themes, morals, actions, climaxes, and what not... it's not here. There's no conflict, goals, or objectives. It's still likable, but there's nothing really going on. Plus, the major consistency flaw is identical to any furry blog. I don't quite understand the reasoning behind a world full of anthro-animals, and I doubt I ever will.
Still, it's worth noting that the moderator does make sense of the biology of the characters.
Overall: 6/10
Characters:
The two characters so far are Sparky and Pippin. Sparky appears to be a nymphophiliac and is fairly aggressive. Also she's a squirrel. Worth noting. Pippin is far more passive than Sparky. She's fairly shy and quiet despite being a shark.
The characters do have interesting base qualities, but they aren't worked with hard enough. Sparky only has had a handful of profound moments, but other than that they resemble pretty cars at a car lot. They simply aren't going anywhere.
The relationship between Sparky and Pippin is also confusing. It's hard to tell if they're conflicting with each other or if Pippin is being unrealistically nervous towards Sparky and her haughty personality. The two characters seem to be perfect foils to each other, but it remains to be seen due to sub par objectives and reactions.
Overall: 6/10
Accountability
The moderator is fairly good at keeping up with his followers. It may seem he doesn't update often, but this may be due to a severe lack of followers which he could definitely use. If his followers would work with more often, I believe there would be even more updates. Still, the moderator is good with notifications and interacts with people very well.
Overall: 10/10
Accomplishment
It seems the blog is just for fun, and quite frankly it's pretty entertaining. There's definite life to it, and it's easily enjoyable. Still, there's not a lot to the blog. Simplicity isn't a bad thing, but it's not an outstanding achievement.
Overall: 7/10
Final rating: 38/50
I really do like this blog, and I wanna give Sparky a big ol' hug. Squirrelmod, you stay classy and keep at it. I don't know how to end this I'm tired...
Ask Inkblot follows Inkblot (could you guess?) as she recovers from a brief run in from another universe and a major injury. She works at the quills and sofas, but she does a lot more than assume the title of a simple clerk.
Art Quality
Inkblot has a semi-sketch style with shading that closely follows Hatching. The outlining and lined shading compliment each other very well, and it's overall appealing. Though, as seen above, there have been a few faults in the anatomy. The eyes seem too flat, and the face is too far projected from the skull which makes it seem a little off.
HOWEVER, it seems this has been cleared up in the most recent posts
The bodies make sense, and you can easily see how they function. Also, the dialogue fits well in the picture without taking too much room. It is clear who's saying who, and the action dialogue is easily understood and appealing. One note, though:
You do have a tendency to make the heads too big. If you were to draw a circle over the chest and the head, they should be about the same size.
Over all art rating: 9/10 (note: I can't deal out 10's willy nilly. Sorry :p))
Story structure:
The story is a difficult read. It's hard to tell what exactly what's going on. There wasn't much of an exposition of the characters either. I mean, we only know the most about the characters from the most recent posts, and we only know this through trial by fire. They're in some sort of action that's caused by... well I'm not exactly sure. You started this side story in between the main one that don't seem to correlate. But the story fails to match up well - the setting and objectives change. And too add, the story only flows well in the most recent posts, but without a clear exposition I don't know what's going on.
You did mention to me before this is due to some cross of universes. I'm going to tell you now - cross universes are a poor literary crutch unless you completely understand what alternate universes are. On the most basic terms, a universe is a continuing series of events. An alternate of that universe would have something in the past that has changed. Without clear understanding of what happened in the past that makes the two universes differ, it doesn't make sense. I know you haven't established that completely yet, but if you do it makes for a poor story
Overall story structure: 3/10
Characters
The characters in the story as I've understood are Inkblot herself, The Valkyries (Scott & June, the blonde couple), Tweak (Nightmare arc), Wintergreen (Nightmare Arc), Davenport (Inkblot’s boss and owner of Quills & Sofas), Chrono Dive, and Feathermay. Now it's clear that each one of these ponies have distinctive personalities, which is good. However, only a few of them have distinctive objectives - Scott & June. They have some sort of goal which they impose on everyone else. Out of all the characters, they seem the most well written. However, Inkblot, who's the main character, is kinda there experiencing it. It's fine how you're doing it, but she isn't contributing to the story. She only tells us about herself and how she feels, but she doesn't quite do much. She's far too static to be a great character. The other characters are even more bland. Static is fine for a minor character, but they don't seem to be contributing much or well to the story. Though, this may be due to the unclear story telling during the beginning of the blog. The only characters that has had reasonable actions are Inkblot, Scott, and June. However, this is all during the more recent posts, so I expect that future updates will follow the quality of character that has been made.
Overall characters: 7/10
Accountability
As a moderator, you do well interacting with people. I see you on a near daily basis even. Through your mod blog, it's clear that you're alive, and you take a reasonable amount of interest in your followers.
However, being off and on for months at a time is less than decent. During the most recent period, it was about a week between updates. This is actually very good. But then it dropped again. Not only that, there's so much time between the two parts of the story (Before and after the nightmare arc) that it's difficult to understand and keep up with the main arc.
Overall accountability: 6/10
Overall accomplishment
You told me your main internal purpose of the story was to simply tell the story of Inkblot. So the only way to judge this is to consider how well the story comes across. And I have to say it doesn't come across clear enough. I expect that it will get better, but it's simply not an easily accessible read.
Your exterior purpose aside from pure self fulfillment, however, was to progress your art skills and story telling skills. Both of which have gotten significantly better. From your first post to last, the amount of progress is stunning. The art's amazing, and the clarity of what's going on is substantially better.
Overall: 8/10
Overall judging rating: 33/50
Suffice to say, that's still pretty good. Since your the expedition critique, you're automatically the standard. But a 2/3 out of a perfect score is a good standard. And as I said in the disclaimer, don't take it seriously. The rating is based off my personal opinion. I still say you have things to work on, but I am expecting great things in the future.
