The False NarrativeYou’re Telling Yourself
“The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what wethink.” Richard Bach
When it comes to negative things most people say to themselves, Itell people two things, first, we would never allow another person to say those things to someone else, second, we would stun people if we were to say those things out loud because it is very unlikely people see us in the way we speak to ourselves, about ourselves. Here’s the harsh reality, when these lies are on constant repeat in our head, we begin to believe them as the truth.
This is a common belief; the brain cannot distinguish between something happening in real life or if it entered the brain as a thought.
My Career Coaching clients are people who have decided to make a change in their career and are seeking guidance from me to help them learn how to put their professional best forward and becoming confident, prepared candidates. These clients, just like the rest of us, have had some killer thoughts in their head which their brain has distinguished as reality. Because that’s just what the brain does! Here are common beliefs I hear:
With the instability in the economy, working for this large corporation is more secure than possibly taking on a more challenging, more appreciated role in a smaller company. Even if I am miserable or not doing what I love, I have to stay.
I am loyal and while I’m not fulfilled or appreciated the way I wish, I know this company would be loyal to me after all of these years.
At a new company, it is always – last one in, first one out if layoffs happen. That’s too risky, no matter how unhappy I am here.
I make great money. I work for a Fortune 100 organization. Companies aren't hiring anyway. I really should just be grateful for the opportunity to work for such a company. Thinking about leaving makes me appear ungrateful.
The lack of recognition and the negativity in this company is as good as it gets, there’s nothing better out there.
My only chance to move up in a company is the place where people know me. Once I get to XX position, I will have more flexibility to do what I want and am good at.
Management has made it clear I am not smart or talented and would not be able to positively contribute to another organization, so there’s just no use in even trying.
I know by the third one you were thinking “okay, enough already, I get it!” I intentionally continued because these are real examples I hear on a daily basis. Frankly, I could keep going with many more.
These beliefs are reality for many people. The thoughts become truth, so they are stuck. They do not believe they can move forward or move to another company.
Moving forward is completely possible for anyone. That’s why I love my job. Taking each situation and through a step by step approach, we can rebuild confidence and guide through the process of identifying where they want to go and what they want to do and then, they go do it! Yes, it really is that simple.
There are people not lacking confidence and while they may not have a hole to dig out of, there are still steps they need to take to put their professional best forward and become a confident, prepared candidate.
No matter where you are starting your job search, here is a snapshot of the steps I take with my clients in our Career Transition Coaching Series helping them to put their professional best forward and becoming confident, prepared candidates.
What you bring to the table. Identifying your strengths and passions to bring clarity around what you can offer to a new company. This also pushes you to think about the content of your work and what brings you fulfillment professionally.
Identifying ideal organizations and work environments. Some people just sit down and start applying for open jobs and hey, sometimes it even works! Rather than repeating the negative environment or manager, we work through strategies to avoid a repeat.
Who are you? Simple enough, right? Not really. Most people are not even able to articulate what it is they really do to friends and family! This is the most critical step in any job search process and heck, I even recommend going through this particular process for everyone, looking for a job or not.
Publishing your brand. Let’s face it, you haven’t touched your resume in years, if ever. You use LinkedIn because you heard it was important. Being able to publish your brand professionally is important. I provide a professionally written resume, LinkedIn profile, and cover letter. If you’re not confident about you career or where you’re at, do you really think you should be the one putting that on paper? Exactly, I’ll do that.
Utilize networking to your benefit. We’ve all heard it – most jobs are found through our network, so we know the importance. Let’s be honest though, networking can be uncomfortable. I help you understand how to network, with whom, and how to make it stress free and maybe even fun!
Show them who you are. Interviewing is so stressful and can sink even the most qualified candidates. I help you minimize stress and highlight your true strengths and capabilities.
These are a few of our steps in our Career Transition Coaching Series (yes, there’s more, but gotta keep some stuff in my arsenal!) to help anyone walk through the process of making a change in their career.
Recently I have been working with a client and she told me she can see how these concepts build upon each other and are a natural progression getting her ready to get her next opportunity. That is exactly the intent.
The brain cannot distinguish between a thought and a real experience, so turning those false narratives into a positive, accurate narrative and move to your next opportunity is critical and not something you can do alone. I would be happy to help!
[1] "Real or Imagined? The Brain Doesn't Know!" New Hope Outreach. N.p., 28 June 2008. Web. 03 Feb. 2015.