So, in honor of Ace Awareness Week I thought I’d write a bit about my experiences on the subject
Like most people who are asexual, it took a while before I had even heard of the term. About 21 or 22 years to be exact. Of course, this made navigating through adolescence extremely confusing. Adding being aro-spec to this, and it was even more so.
Before then, I honestly thought the desire expressed on TV, in conversations with friends, and in books was an exaggeration. Health class instructors stated that these classes were important, “because everyone will have sex one day.”
And I didn’t understand why. I never liked anyone romantically, let alone in that way. But apparently, everyone was serious. And I began to wonder not, “What’s up with society?” But rather, “What’s wrong with me?”
I thought it was because I was shy and brought up in a Christian household. But others who were just as shy as me talked about it. I thought that because I was the scrawny brown nerdy girl with glasses and braces in high school, and no one ever thought I was, “pretty,” maybe I just stopped considering such things to spare my feelings.
I went through high school and part of college like this–not dating because I wasn’t interested in anyone. I remember hearing whispers behind my back–people assuming that since I didn’t date any guys, that I must be a lesbian. But I knew that wasn’t correct either.
Finally, I first read about asexuality on the internet. As I did more and more research, everything made sense. It explained everything about me. Not too long after that, I also discovered aromanticism, and identified with being demiromantic. But that’s another story.
As of now, only my close friends know this about me. My family is pretty laid-back in this aspect though. I simply said that I’m not interested in dating and may never be. And they accept that, as well as the fact that I will not have children, (unless I adopt). I don’t really feel that I need to explain all the vocab to them if they accept it as is.
For now, I am content knowing who I am. Perhaps one day I will consider a romantic relationship. My only worry for the future is that I will bond with someone who won’t be able to accept that I am ace, or that I won’t be able to meet them halfway, I understand how many aces in this position can feel “guilty” for being unable to. Not to mention, one isn’t exactly able to date in the “normal” way when demi-aro. But we’ll see. Traveling and discovering what I want to do with my life is my main concern–everything else may or may not follow.
