#stupid personal

[butterflygrl62]

Drunk posting

need to sleep. have to leave for work at 10 pm. currently 2 pm. cats are asleep. Maybe I can convince them to join me in bed so I'll sleep better.

[butterflygrl62]

I'm shocked. Truly shocked, I was told by by kid 3 that I need to retire in Chicago area instead of West Texas so they can take care of me. Instead of leaving me to take care of myself in West Texas.

I couldn't imagine why, but they said it was because I was their mom, and they didn't want me to be alone in my dotage.

I thought they'd be happy to be rid of me. I guess not.

[butterflygrl62]

Tired of being me. I'm fat , ugly, stupid and useless.

[butterflygrl62]

I've put a rubber band on my wrist. The idea is that any time I want to eat something and I'm not actually hungry, I can snap it. Aversion therapy for eating? And when I think I'm hungry, I'm going to try drinking water and waiting 10-15 minutes to see if I'm actually hungry.

[butterflygrl62]

I'm going to start using this to keep myself on track. And keep track of things that are going on.

Colin dog is in major pain from his mouth. He's barely eating (if at all). The vet is saying they can't get him in for surgery until next Monday. I told them I'm not entirely certain he will live until then and really question that he'd survive surgery. They agreed to have me drop him off first thing in the morning so he can at least be examined.

If they put him in hospital until he's stable for surgery, it'll be $5K at least. So be it. I can skip my next vacation in October.

The microwave/stove hasn't worked in a couple of months. The breaker flipped and won't flip back. I'm reasonably certain that it's the microwave. I can use the stove top - being gas, I just have to supply a flame. I only need to text my handyman to get it fixed. I just have to make myself do it.

I also have to make myself go to the gym. I've lost all the progress I made on core strength and mobility in my left hip. I'm awake all night, but not being useful.

Starting today, 7-10-25, I'm going to avoid alcohol for the next 6 months.

[lunamiszkaa]

No one :

Literally no one :

Not even a soul :

Me : okay i'll put some makeup then gonna wear a fine ass dress and take pics/selfies

[snoopdoggey]

like god every time i try to move past this i get roped right the fuck back in and just want to dismiss my own anger for the slight chance that i’m happy with him again and all my boxes are checked and i’d like to think i’ve given up on that thought but why am i so sad about it now 

[strawberryfiction]

I still miss my stupid ex, who got bored of me. And I still have to watch him be nice to all of my friends in front of my face when he couldn’t look me in the fucking eye after breaking my heart. Every time I think I’m done and over him he posts a stupid video to impress everyone else that I have to skip through. He posts things everyone else loves instead of just sending it privately. I loved him with everything I ever had. It feels so stupid to care about people who dropped you like you ever mattered because they just stopped loving you, but like five months later here I am.