I Wish You Knew
How I wish you only knew,
that you’re a lucky star. i enjoy your company more than a normal girl would. i know that you need to see this for yourself. but, the way that i look at. i only imagine that a friendship like ours could blossom into something beautiful. i feel like if i had held onto to this feeling with the other man before you, it wouldve been a lot more hurt involved. right now, i am willing to wait. you make me focus on me and not just about loving you in my own feelings. i think that is a super plus. therefore, i wish you knew.
how i could love you. i really dont want to imagine you leaving me. and normally im terrible with goodbyes. the real me wouldve let shit fade right now. but you are the male version of me and you pulling back only wants to make me push forward. and when i pulled back, something abt you pulled slightly. i took that slight tug and sent you the funniest video i have. you only read it. thats all i needed. just know that im right here. i aint going to let titles try to downgrade how i feel about you. let me threads on twitter show that im not ashamed to show i love you.
dont let me go.
when May comes around. we’re both waiting on something that could change our lives. you could find a well paying happy life, i could finally find the love and marriage i’ve been praying for... it is bad that i want you to stop me. stop my anticipating? He;s loved me for a while. I’ve held onto something that i dont know, sexually, Vibing wise, he’s the same as you. a little more fluid. but i really dont know what im waiting on. All i know is that, until i gave having sex with you a shot, i remembered that I’ve felt this same feeling around you ever since i was in middle school. Before i knew what I was feeling was real. It scared the shit out of me, and its scaring me again but this time, i wont jump away from it. I’ll run towards it.
Please, after i say these things. Don’t go freeing yourself. I’m used to hurt just like you. I acknowledge that I’ve been asking Jah for someone who chases me. but i cannot ignore the type of woman i am. You’ve been in my blindspot for years. I dont have any pride to chase somebody i want in my life. I’ve done a lot of reading. It’s not that i need you, i want you.