KISS ME LIKE A SECRET 001
Warnings: mature content, cheating, fluff, sexual content, 2 year age gap, 18 & 20 and more
Chapter One: He Was Watching
Y/N:
Nathan always had three best friends. The triplets. Nick, Matt, and Chris. I don’t remember a version of my childhood that didn’t involve them stomping through our front door, throwing open the fridge like it was theirs, collapsing onto the couch like they owned the place. And maybe, in a way, they did.
They were loud. Reckless. Intimidating and magnetic and impossible to ignore. Two years older, and the kind of boys girls wrote about in their journals except I didn’t have to write about them. They were in my house every single day.
Nick was always the easiest one to talk to. He was the only one who really saw me growing up. Kind, careful, and quietly funny, with a soft voice and big blue eyes that were always watching people a little more closely than anyone else. He told me he was gay when I was fourteen, crying under our porch like the secret was swallowing him whole. I didn’t even flinch. I just held his hand. That’s the kind of bond we had unspoken and permanent.
Matt was the quiet one. The observer. Gentle and shy and always lingering just outside the spotlight. He never said much unless he felt safe, but when he laughed really laughed it lit up the whole room. He was sweet. Thoughtful. The kind of guy who remembered your favorite candy and left it on the counter without saying a word. He liked silence, and I liked that about him.
And then there was Chris.
Chris, who asked to many questions. Chris, who smirked instead of smiled. Chris, who made fun of Matt’s awkward silences and always had a cocky comment ready for Nick’s playlists or Nate’s new haircut. Chris, who was all lean muscle and stupid swagger, with a jaw sharp enough to cut glass and blue eyes that felt like they could burn holes straight through your skin. He was loud, flirtatious, magnetic, and infuriatingly beautiful.
He also never looked at me like I mattered.
Growing up, I was just the background. Nate’s little sister. A gangly kid in oversized shirts with chipped nail polish and juice-stained lips, tucked in the corner of the room with a romance book while the triplets played Xbox and dunked on each other in the backyard. I don’t even think Chris knew my middle name. I was invisible.
But even then, even at seven, I noticed him.
I noticed the way his voice dropped when he was serious. The way he’d bite his lip when he was trying not to laugh. The way he moved like every room bent a little to make space for him. He made my stomach twist, even when I didn’t know why. He made me feel something.
He never looked at me. Not the way I wanted him to. Not until now.
Because this summer? Everything’s changed.
I turned eighteen in August. Got a job, started partying. I traded my baggy clothes for tight tops and lose but fitting pants enough to show my curves. Makeup. Drinking and even smoking. Confidence I didn’t have before. I stopped looking away when he walked in a room. I stopped being afraid of his eyes.
Now, I hold them.
I know how to talk softer when I know he’s near. How to laugh just loud enough. How to stretch in the kitchen when he’s sitting behind me, watching like he’s not supposed to. And the thing is he is watching now.
That look I used to dream about? The one where he sees me not as Nate’s little sister, not as the kid on the couch, but as a girl? It’s real. It’s in the way his eyes linger when I pass. In the way his voice goes quieter when he says my name. In the way his gaze drops to my lips before snapping away like it burns him.
And I shouldn’t care. I shouldn’t want that from him.
Especially not when I have Josh.
Josh is sweet. Reliable. Safe. He brings me flowers. Says “good morning” before my alarm even goes off. He calls me pretty and means it. My parents love him. Nate does too. He’s the kind of boy you bring home. The kind who always says the right thing. The kind who doesn’t watch me like I’m a secret he wants to keep.
When Josh kisses me, I smile.
When Chris looks at me, I forget how to breathe.
I know it’s wrong. I know it’s a line I’m not supposed to cross. But this summer?
It’s not about being good.
It’s about being seen.
And Chris?
He’s finally watching.
The arrival: The Pool
CHRIS:
The second we pulled into Nate’s driveway, it hit me, summer. Sticky heat, the buzz of cicadas, and that smell of chlorine and cut grass that clung to every memory from when we were kids.
I stepped out of the car, already tugging off my hoodie, and there it was home. Or close enough. Nate’s place had always been our second house, mostly because his mom treated us like we were her own. Me, Matt, and Nick spent more summers in this backyard than our own growing up.
Matt yawned behind me, sleep-mussed and quiet like usual. Nick was halfway up the porch already, calling out for Mrs. Y/L/N like he always did.
And then she walked out.
Y/N.
And everything fucking stopped.
I hadn’t seen her in almost a year. Not properly, anyway. The last time I was here, she was still that scrawny, barefoot kid with chipped nail polish and tangled hair, always curled up somewhere with a book too big for her hands.
This? This was not that.
She walked out of the back door like she owned the sun. Tight black bikini. Tan skin. Jet Black hair. Hips that swayed like she didn’t even realize. And a glittering silver belly piercing that I couldn’t stop looking at if I tried. I swear to God, my jaw clenched so hard I thought I was gonna crack a molar.
“Oh my, god” Nick muttered next to me, eyebrows lifting, “is that—?”
“Yep,” I cut him off. “That’s Y/N.”
His grin went crooked. “You okay, man? You look like you saw a ghost.”
I didn’t answer. Because I wasn’t sure what the hell I saw. Just that it made my chest tight and my palms ache.
Then Nate stepped outside and yelled, “Triplets are back, bitches!”
She looked up, saw me—and smiled.
Not the kid kind. Not the hey-remember-me kind. The kind that said I see you seeing me.
I swallowed hard.
We were so fucked.
Y/N:
I heard them before I saw them, laughter spilling out of the driveway, car doors slamming, sneakers on pavement. The triplets were back. Just like every summer. And I told myself it was fine. I had a boyfriend now. I was chill. Grown. Untouchable.
But when I stepped outside and saw them standing in the sun, especially Chris, it felt like the ground tilted.
He was taller. Broader. His jaw was sharper, and his shirt was tight across his chest, and when his eyes landed on me, they stuck. For the first time in my entire life, he really saw me.
And I could feel it.
I pretended not to notice, even though my skin buzzed under his stare. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, tilted my head just enough to make my necklace slide across my collarbone, and smiled.
Then Josh came outside.
“Hey, babe.” He kissed my cheek and wrapped an arm around my waist. “These the triplets?”
Chris looked away first.
“Yeah,” I said. “Guys, this is Josh. My boyfriend.”
Nick was the first to smile, friendly as always. “Nice to meet you!”
Matt nodded, quiet and polite. “Nice to meet you, man.” eyes flickering toward me once before going right back to the ground.
Chris?
Chris just stared at Josh’s hand on my hip like it was a personal offense.
He gave a tight-lipped smile, then said, “Cool.”
That was it.
We all headed to the backyard after that. The pool was already open, the sun blazing, and I could feel the way Chris’s gaze dragged across my back when I peeled off my cover-up.
My bikini was black and small and very intentional. My mom would’ve killed me. But Chris? His jaw flexed. His eyes dipped lower than they should’ve. And when I dropped into the pool, letting the water splash up over my stomach, I made sure he saw the belly piercing catch the light.
Josh cannonballed in next to me. Chris didn’t move. Just sat on the edge of the pool, legs dangling in the water, watching me like he was trying not to.
It was torture.
And God, I loved it.
CHRIS:
Matt and Nick were off grabbing drinks. Nate was busy setting up the speaker. And I was stuck on the edge of the pool, trying not to stare at her, Y/N like a pervert.
She floated on her back like she didn’t have a care in the world. Water lapping at her waist, that goddamn belly ring glinting like a dare.
Her boyfriend was splashing beside her, calling her “babe” like he owned the word. And she laughed, but it was fake. Too high-pitched. Too practiced.
I knew her laugh.
And that wasn’t it.
I watched the way her fingers dragged over the water. The way she arched her back every time she moved. I knew what she was doing.
And it was working.
Because every inch of me was screaming to touch her. To pull her under and see if she still smiled underwater like she did when she was ten. To make her forget that guy’s name.
And I couldn’t.
Because she was Nate’s sister.
Because she was eighteen.
Because she had a boyfriend.
And still, I watched.
Because this summer wasn’t about rules.
It was about everything we weren’t supposed to want.
And fuck, I wanted her.
Y/N:
Josh fit in better than I expected.
Nick instantly clicked with him, of course he did. Nick liked everyone. But Matt surprised me. He was quiet, but he actually laughed at Josh’s dumb stories. They even bonded over some obscure sci-fi show I didn’t know Matt liked. The kind of easy, golden-hour bonding that made everything feel warm and soft and… safe.
Chris sat in a lawn chair a few feet away, sunglasses on, silent and stretched out like he was bored out of his mind. But I could feel him watching. The way you feel thunder before it breaks. I saw his jaw tighten when Josh handed me my towel. When Matt offered to grab me a soda and Josh said, “I got it, man,” with a smile.
I kept pretending not to notice.
And then Chris spoke.
“You remember when Y/N used to have that imaginary boyfriend named.. what was it? Captain Bubbles?”
I froze mid-sip.
Nick burst out laughing. “Oh my God, yes. And he lived in the bathtub.”
Matt covered his mouth, shaking his head. “You used to draw him with, like, six-pack abs and gills.”
Josh grinned at me. “No way.”
My face was on fire, but I didn’t flinch. I set down my soda, leaned back, and locked eyes with Chris.
“Still better than the girls you used to sneak into Nate’s basement at thirteen. What was that one’s name? Katy? The one who cried because you couldn’t find her mouth?”
Nick choked. “No way.”
Matt actually laughed out loud.
Chris dropped his sunglasses down his nose, eyes narrow and dark. But I just smiled sweetly. “Captain Bubbles was a gentleman.”
Josh nudged me. “I like him already.”
I flipped my hair off my shoulder and didn’t look at Chris again.
But I could feel it.
The shift.
He thought he could humiliate me, reduce me back down to that little girl with imaginary boyfriends and glitter stickers on her notebooks.
But I wasn’t her anymore.
And he knew it.
⸻
CHRIS:
Okay. So maybe that wasn’t my proudest move.
Dragging out Captain Bubbles like a weapon? Low blow. But watching her laugh with Nick and Matt, and worse, Josh like she belonged there now? Like she was one of us?
It made something in me snap.
I didn’t expect her to throw it back like that. She used to blush and stammer when we teased her. Now she hit back, clean, sharp, and without blinking.
And when she smiled?
It wasn’t innocent.
It was deadly.
I sat there, sunglasses on, heart pounding like a fucking teenager.
She wasn’t Nate’s little sister anymore.
And she wasn’t scared of me.
I should’ve left it alone. But I didn’t.
Because I didn’t like watching her fit in too well.
Especially with them.
Especially when I wanted to be the one making her laugh like that.
CHRIS:
The sky was bleeding orange by the time I slipped away from the pool. The others were still out there, Nate and Nick tossing a football with Josh, Matt dozing with a book in his lap, and Y/N…
God.
She was stretched out on a towel, glowing in the gold light, laughing at something Josh said like her whole body smiled when she did. It made me feel sick. Or something close to it.
I sat on the back steps alone, beer dangling from my fingers, trying to get a grip. My skin was still warm from the sun, but I couldn’t stop the chill that sat in my chest. Watching her like this knowing it was a fucked-up kind of torture.
She was eighteen. Barely. I was twenty.
Two years.
That was nothing, right?
But when you’ve known her since she was seven, when you used to help tie her shoelaces, when she had braces and cried over Disney movies, it’s not just time. It’s history. It’s how I should see her.
But I didn’t.
Not anymore.
She moved different. Spoke different. She looked at me like she was unafraid of what she might find and that scared the hell out of me more than anything else.
I took a slow sip of the beer and closed my eyes.
And then I heard the door creak open behind me.
Nate.
He dropped down on the step beside me with a groan and stretched out his legs. We sat in silence for a minute, listening to the low hum of the music and the distant splash of someone diving into the pool.
“You good?” he finally asked.
I nodded, but it wasn’t convincing.
He glanced at me sideways. “You’re quiet.”
“I’m tired.”
He snorted. “You’re never tired.”
More silence. The sky deepened into violet. A mosquito buzzed too close.
Then Nate said, “You’ve been looking at her.”
My heart stopped.
I turned, but he wasn’t even looking at me just staring straight ahead at the yard.
“Who?” I asked, even though I knew.
He raised an eyebrow. “Come on.”
I looked away. Took another sip. My fingers clenched tighter around the bottle neck.
“She grew up,” I muttered.
“Yeah. She did.” His voice was flat, unreadable. “It’s freaking me the hell out.”
I laughed, tight, hollow. “Yeah. Same.”
Another long beat.
“I know she’s not a kid anymore,” Nate said carefully. “And I’m not stupid. I saw the way she looked at you today.”
My lungs tightened.
“But she’s my sister, Chris.”
There it was.
Not a threat. Not yet.
Just a warning. A reminder. And the weight of it sat heavy on my chest.
“I know,” I said, voice low.
“I trust you,” Nate added, like that meant more than anything else.
And that? That hurt worse than anything.
Because I wasn’t trustworthy. Not when it came to her.
Not anymore.
The Bonfire:
Y/N:
The fire snapped low between us, embers glowing like tiny secrets in the dark.
I stayed behind after everyone had gone in for food or drinks or whatever excuse they’d made. I wasn’t hungry. I needed air. Space. Something that didn’t feel like pretending.
I sat back in a lawn chair, oversized hoodie swallowing my frame, his hoodie, not that he knew. My bikini bottoms clung to my hips underneath, legs tucked up beneath me, skin still warm and damp from the pool. The smell of chlorine, firewood, and sunscreen lingered in the thick summer air.
I lit the joint with steady fingers, the flame catching on the second try. I pulled in slow, feeling it fill my lungs, then exhaled toward the sky. The smoke curled upward, slow and sleepy, like it had nowhere to be.
The first hit always settled something in me. Loosened the tight grip in my chest.
I barely noticed the footsteps until they were close.
Chris.
Of course.
He didn’t speak right away just sauntered into view, hoodie pulled over his head, swim trunks slung low on his hips like he didn’t care how much skin he showed. He dropped down into the chair next to mine, stretched out like he owned the place, and glanced at the joint between my fingers.
“Didn’t think you smoked,” he said, voice thick with amusement.
I didn’t even look at him. “You don’t know me.”
Chris chuckled, low and quiet, and reached into his pocket. “No. I guess I don’t.”
He pulled out his own joint, thicker than mine, twisted neat like he knew what he was doing, and lit it without another word. The silence between us buzzed.
I took another hit.
He watched.
“I saw you with Josh earlier,” he said eventually, exhaling slow. “You guys always that… couple-y?”
I shrugged. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Chris smirked. “Nothing. Just didn’t take you for the hand-holding, matching-shoes, golden-retriever type.”
I side-eyed him. “You don’t like him.”
He lifted a brow. “Didn’t say that. I just think it’s funny.”
“What is?”
“That you’re trying so hard to convince everyone you’re into him.”
I froze.
Chris didn’t press. Just took another drag and passed me his joint without looking. I blinked at it, then took it hands brushing briefly, heat flaring in my chest.
“You’re full of shit,” I said finally, exhaling smoke.
Chris grinned. “Maybe. But I’m not wrong.”
The fire popped softly between us, the only sound besides the occasional chirp of crickets and the faint bass of music coming from inside.
Then he leaned back and stretched, hoodie riding up, his abs flashing in the light. “You’ve changed, you know.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah.” His eyes dragged slowly over me lazy, not subtle. “You used to follow us around like a little puppy. Now you’re out here stealing my hoodie, smoking my strain.”
I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t know it was your hoodie.”
His grin widened. “Didn’t stop you from wearing it.”
I handed his joint back, fingers grazing his again. Slower this time.
He held it between his lips, gaze fixed on mine. “Still got the crush?”
I nearly choked. “You’re insane.”
He blew smoke toward the stars. “What? You think I didn’t notice? Back then you couldn’t even talk to me without turning red.”
I stayed quiet, heat blooming behind my ears.
“I was fifteen,” he added after a beat. “You were what, like—twelve?”
“Thirteen,” I corrected, defensive. “And it was a phase.”
Chris looked at me like he didn’t believe a word of it.
Then: “If it was a phase, why are you still looking at me like that?”
I blinked.
He smirked again, like he lived for catching me off guard. Then he leaned back and closed his eyes, like he hadn’t just lit me on fire from the inside out.
Before I could respond, before I could even catch my breath the back door creaked open.
Laughter. Footsteps. Voices.
Nate stepped out first, carrying drinks, Matt right behind him, quiet but smiling. Nick trailed behind, already rambling about something. And Josh, Josh was last, eyes lighting up when he saw me.
“Babe,” he said, walking over. His hand landed on my shoulder, warm and casual, fingers curling into the hoodie like it was his. “You okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Just hanging out.”
Chris didn’t move. Didn’t speak.
Josh bent down and kissed my cheek. I let him. But I didn’t feel anything.
Across the fire, Matt sat down silently, eyes flicking to me and Chris, reading everything without saying a word. Nick kept the mood light, tossing another log on the fire and cracking a joke about ghost stories. Nate stood behind the chairs, sipping his drink, watching us too carefully.
And the tension? Still there.
Flickering in the smoke. Crawling beneath my skin. Settling between me and Chris like a storm cloud with no rush to pass.
This summer, I could feel everything shifting.
And Chris? He wasn’t looking away anymore.
End of the Night:
Y/N:
The fire had burned down to glowing coals, the kind that pulsed low and orange like they had a heartbeat. The air was cooler now, the kind of late summer night that clung to your skin and made your thoughts louder. Most of the group had drifted back inside Matt, Nick, Josh, Nate leaving just me and Chris.
Again.
He didn’t say anything at first.
Just leaned back in his chair, long legs stretched out, hoodie sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His jaw flexed as he took another hit from the joint we’d passed back and forth like something shared and dangerous.
“I forgot you used to be quiet,” he said eventually. His voice was soft but smug, the kind that carried even through silence. “Like, really quiet. You’d sit in the living room when we were over and just… watch us.”
I didn’t respond right away.
Mostly because I did remember.
I remembered hiding behind a book I wasn’t even reading, just so I could glance at him without getting caught. I remembered the way he never looked back.
“You were loud enough for all of us,” I muttered finally, flicking ash off the side of the porch.
He smirked. “I always thought you were just shy.”
“I wasn’t shy,” I said. “I was smart.”
That made him laugh. Low and lazy. He took another drag and exhaled toward the sky.
“So… what changed?” he asked. “You’re not exactly quiet anymore.”
I didn’t know how to answer that. Not without telling the truth.
That I used to stay up thinking about him. That I used to wonder if he’d ever notice me the way I noticed him. That I’d spent entire summers trying to convince myself that what I felt was just a phase.
So instead, I shrugged. “People grow up.”
“Yeah,” he said, eyes flicking over me slowly. “You definitely did.”
My breath caught, but I covered it with a laugh. “You sound surprised.”
He looked at me for a long moment. Firelight flickered in his eyes, warm and unreadable.
“I am,” he admitted. “I didn’t think you’d… turn out like this.”
“Like what?”
But he just shook his head, like saying it would cost him too much.
“You never told me,” he added suddenly, a bit quieter.
My stomach flipped. “Told you what?”
“That you had a crush on me.”
I blinked. “I never did.”
His mouth curved into something almost cruel. “You’re lying.”
I tilted my head. “Then why didn’t you say something?”
He paused, his cocky edge flickering into something almost unsure. “Maybe I thought it’d go away.”
I stared at him, heart pounding, the silence stretching between us like thread pulled too tight.
“It did,” I said quietly.
He didn’t look away.
Didn’t smile.
Didn’t argue.
But the corner of his mouth twitched just once. Like he knew I was lying now, too.
And that was the worst part.
He didn’t say anything after that.
Didn’t smile, didn’t laugh it off like he usually would. He just looked at me, really looked at me, and the silence between us felt like it could set something on fire.
And maybe it already had.
I stood up first, wrapping the sleeves of my hoodie around my hands to hide how cold I suddenly felt. Or maybe it wasn’t the cold at all, maybe it was just him. The way he watched me. The way he always watched me now, like he was trying to find pieces of a girl he’d ignored for years.
I didn’t say goodbye. I didn’t have to.
As I walked toward the house, I could feel his stare on my back. Heavy. Reluctant. Like he wanted to stop me but didn’t know how.
Or didn’t think he should.
And maybe I wanted him to. Maybe I wanted him to say something else, anything to keep me there.
But he didn’t.
So I kept walking.
Inside, the lights were too bright, and Josh’s voice was already cutting through the kitchen. He looked up when I walked in and smiled like nothing had changed.
But it had.
Something had cracked wide open out there by the fire, and even if no one else saw it, I felt it. I felt it in the way my skin still burned. In the way my heart still raced. In the way I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Chris had said my name.
Like he’d only just learned how to say it.
And somewhere behind me, outside, he was still sitting in the dark.
Letting me go.
Even though we both knew—
He didn’t want to.
CHRIS:
She didn’t look back.
I watched her hoodie pull tighter around her frame as she disappeared into the house, smoke still curling from where we’d passed the joint back and forth like it was nothing. Like it wasn’t loaded with everything we didn’t say.
The second the door closed behind her, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. My jaw was locked so tight it ached.
That should’ve gone differently.
I told myself I was just messing with her, just teasing, same as I always had. But somewhere between the way she held my gaze and the way she said “It did,” I felt something shift. Something small, but permanent. Like the slam of a lock on a door I hadn’t meant to open.
She used to follow me around like a shadow. Always quiet, always watching, like she thought I didn’t notice. But I did. I always did. And I told myself she’d grow out of it. That it wasn’t serious. That she was Nate’s kid sister and it didn’t matter.
But it mattered now.
Now she was eighteen. Grown. Smoking my weed in the hoodie I threw over her shoulders earlier that day without thinking, legs curled underneath her like she didn’t know what it did to me.
I leaned forward, elbows on my knees, staring at the dying fire. I could still taste the strawberry gloss on the joint. Still hear her voice when she said she never had a crush.
Bullshit.
But maybe that’s what scared me.
Because if she never told me, if she kept that secret all these years, what else was she keeping?
And why did I want to know so badly?
The screen door creaked again behind me. I thought it might be her, coming back out. Maybe to say something else. Maybe to make me say something I couldn’t.
But it was just Nate.
He stepped down the porch stairs with two beers in hand, flipping one toward me without warning. I caught it, popped the cap, nodded in thanks.
He plopped into the chair across from me with a heavy sigh, stretching his legs out and leaning back like he didn’t have a single worry in the world.
“She’s being quiet tonight, huh?” he said, nodding vaguely toward the house.
My chest tightened. “Guess so.”
He cracked a grin. “Josh probably wore her out. Kid talks more than Nick.”
I forced a chuckle and took a long drink, the beer cold enough to make my teeth ache.
“Hey, I’m glad she found someone good,” Nate added, completely oblivious. “You know how picky she is.”
I stared into the fire again.
Yeah. I knew.
Nate didn’t notice the way my knuckles had gone white around the bottle. He didn’t notice the way my knee was bouncing under the chair. He didn’t know what just happened ten minutes before he walked out here that she sat next to me, high and flushed and honest, and told me something I’d never expected to hear.
That I hadn’t been the one watching all these years.
She had.
And I missed it.
“Josh is cool,” I said finally, swallowing the burn in my throat. “He’s… nice.”
Nate laughed. “You sound so convincing, bro.”
I smirked without humor.
He stretched, cracked his neck, and yawned. “Alright, I’m gonna head back in. Nick’s already halfway into a s’mores coma. You coming?”
I shook my head. “In a sec.”
“Don’t get too sentimental out here,” he teased as he walked away.
And just like that he was gone.
I leaned back in the chair, beer bottle resting against my knee, firelight flickering against the trees.
She never told me she liked me.
And now, I wasn’t sure what was worse:
That I didn’t know back then.
Or that I did now.
ooouuu the tensionnnn is crazy.. I hope this is clear and make sense let me know if it’s hard to understand please!
@izzylovesmatt @riggysworld @amiraisafreakokaysorry @ansteeze @pair-of-pantaloons @kitty-meow-meow44
