Hi, Steph. I feel kind of bad asking you this when you’ve recently been off your break, but I’ve seen how you helped a few Nonnies with issues that they’ve been having, and I was hoping you could do the same for me. See, the thing is, pandemics have been one of my worst fears, as is losing someone I care about, and both have happened. (The person I lost wasn’t because of C-19, but it’s still been hard on me, and especially on my family.) Add to that all the protests that have been happening, and the wildfires in California going on, and I’ve just been… really scared and worried. Like, nearly all the time, even when it’s just at the back of my mind. I’m scared that things aren’t going to get better, and may get even worse. I’m worried that I might lose another one of the people I care about somehow (and one of my friends is really high-risk, so I’m scared to visit her because what if I’m carrying the disease and give it to her, and she gets put in danger because of me? I don’t know if I could handle it). I never really liked watching the news to begin with, but now, if someone puts it on, I panic so much I have to leave the room because I’m scared that the things that I worry about might actually be coming true. What’s wrong with me? Why do I keep having these unwanted thoughts?
I’ve talked to my parents and a friend a bit about all of these worries I’ve been having, and it helps some, but they’re still there, a lot. I try to stay positive, and I’m usually good with that, but it’s been really hard to do that lately.
Sorry about this really long and rambling submission; I just had to get this off my chest. Also, I just want to thank you (and the Johnlock fandom); your fluff fic recs masterpost, and Johnlock in general, have helped/are helping me IMMENSELY with getting through this. You’re awesome, Steph! Love ya! <3
(submitted by A)
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Hey Lovely *HUGS*
First of all, I want to offer my deepest love and sympathies for you over the loss of your loved one. It’s never a good time when people we care about depart from us regardless of what caused it. It all feels rather unfair and stressful, and I can’t even imagine what that must be like during a pandemic when you can’t even properly say goodbye *HUGS* I truly hope you and your family are taking care of each other and being each other’s support system during all this.
That said, A, I feel you need to know that it is 100% OKAY to feel anxious and worried about what’s to come, especially with whatever the hell 2020 is, honestly. It’s not a good time for ANYONE, and we’re all stressed and worried in our own way about the what-ifs and if tomorrow will bring us a new nightmare onto this too-long fiction that is unfortunately reality.
It’s perfectly okay to have the worries you have. Listen, I’d be shocked if you didn’t, because jesus christmas crackers, this entire year has been a gong show, and really, we’re all just waiting for “what’s next”. And it’s good you’re talking about your fears with your family – keep at it. Because let me tell you something from experience: bottling shit up turns you into an emotional mess. Getting it all out when you can, especially to people who understand why you’re worried, is great for not just you, but it opens up the floor for your family to also express their worries too. A nice circle of communication and healing. If anything, I’m glad you’re not dealing with the pandemic alone – Believe me, it’s tough some days, especially if you’re an over-thinking worry wart like me.
And, I know this is going to sound hollow right now, at the worst peak for y’all that I’m understanding, but I try to remain hopeful that it will eventually get better. So long as the right people can pull the strings rather than the chaotic mess that everything the US is now, I really do believe that it will get better. I just truly hope with all my heart that y’all will be okay. At least in terms of C-19, it will pass, so long as a SAFE vaccine is made available for everyone and the anti-vaxxers aren’t as numerous as I fear they are. Just keep staying strong, vote if you are able, wear your mask and social distance when in public, and help be the change that this world needs.
My love to you and yours, and never apologize for needing to ramble. I’m a pro at rambling.
Love you, A <3
