Do you ever see mutuals on your dash that you haven’t RP’d with yet and just really really want to RP with them but you’re too damn shy to say anything so you just kinda sit there and admire their fabulousness instead and just quietly wish to rp.
Yeah, that feel
Inspired by ideas from @metalchick36!!! Thank you!
Arriving at the circus, Papa saw her just standing there and fidgeting.
“Holly?” Forcing a timid smile, “Will you go please see the new girl?”
“Okay, Where is she?” Shrugging his shoulders he checked his watch.
“I have things I need to do, so please go find her yourself I can assume she’s in one of the empty tents. I believe Omega moved her into your tent-”
“What why?”
“You’re married did you forget? So all your things have been moved into Alpha’s tent don’t be mad-”
“I thought..” She sighed in frustration, “I’ll go find her.” Storming off she walked towards her old tent, knocking on the shabby door she entered.
“H-hey I just came to see if you needed something. I’m H-holly.” The girl stared blankly at Holly’s timid demeanor.
“No, I’m fine. Thanks.” Holly noticed her cold attitude and crossed her arms.
“D-do you like the circus so far?” The girl sighed as if Holly was irritating her.
“Do you want something? Or you just going to keep asking me petty questions as you poorly attempt to try get to know me?”
“Are you going to continue to have sex Alpha? I am here as friend but obviously you don’t seem to care about pleasing anyone except yourself. Do you think he loves you, my bet is he’s using you for sex because you’re so easy.” Taunting the girl she sighed once more.
“Why does it matter so much what I do?”
“Why are you getting so defensive? If you have nothing to hid then-” The door opened,
“Holly, can you please show more respect.” Noticing it was Papa II standing in the doorway she sighed and forced a smile.
“Papa please-”
“Can we have a moment privately, me and Maja? I will see you in my tent momentarily.” Holly looked at Maja’s pretentious attitude and walked out.
Getting to Papa’s tent she sat down and noticed someone walked in, turning around in the chair she noticed Omega.
“Hi Holly.”
“Hey.” She mumbled, “Have you seen Papa?”
“Yes, he’s on his way right now. I’ll see you again back at the cabin.”
“Okay, have you seen Alpha t-today?” Forcing a smile, he sighed tiredly.
“I have, he’s been doing his errands for Papa III all morning and ignoring everyone. He’s in one of his moods so just be cautious if you do go see him, okay?” Nodding he returned the gesture and walked out so she waited for Papa to saunter his way into the tent and sit down.
“Why were you questioning Maja?”
“I was told by your brother to introduce myself and she got defensive with me. I promise I wasn’t trying to cause problems, I don’t have the energy to do such a thing.”
“Do you not like her? She is quite outspoken compared to your timid demeanor since being here.”
“I only want to be nice to her and she didn’t seem to care for it. I just sort of thought-”
“Thought what? You could be her friend? How naive do you think she is?” Holly’s eyes narrowed.
“I’m sorry, she..she sort of had this way about her that reminded me of myself when I first got here. I was closed off and angry, my only thought was being guarded and wanting to leave that’s exactly how she is acting.”
“She has had relations with Alpha, I could imagine you are infuriated.” He knew he was adding fuel to the flame inside of her.
“If you forget I had sex with Alpha the first day I was here as well. But we’re trying to move past it, why does it matter to you what Alpha does?”
“It does not matter I just like to see you get bothered. Maybe you will turn out like Aino, pregnant with someone else’s child.”
“I’d rather have that not happen to me. If I was to get pregnant again I would be positive it would be his or do you still think I’m a petty naive whore that’s going to fuck anyone so she can feel better?”
“Sometimes I do believe you are not good enough for him but clearly he feels otherwise. I do not like you being wed to Alpha, it never felt so wrong.”
“It’s exactly how you and Lucy were so I don’t see the problem. Don’t compare me to Aino, she was nothing-”
“Are you sure? He said she meant everything to him and he threw her away as fast as you started acting out.”
“Stop-”
“No, you are very much like her but Alpha is easily distracted by his sexual tendencies. It is very evident you are not fulfilling his needs so what do you think will happen next for the two of you?” He watched Holly’s anger boil inside of her knowing he could be right, she felt completely worthless seeing how fast things are changing and not realizing how he’s convinced her to feel such a way.
She started to convince herself that she wasn’t meant to be with Alpha and that she was still some whore that fell in love with one of the Ghouls. Feeling her chest hurt, she looked at the scar on her wrist noticing how deep Earth cut her that night.
“I am-”
“C-can I be excused?” He looked at her, seeing how disheveled she suddenly became.
“Certainly. Please do not waste anyone else’s time, I do not need another problem.” Her eyelashes fluttered feeling herself get upset, standing up she adjusted her sweater and left his tent.
Wiping her face she didn’t know where to go, going to Alpha’s tent may not be wise but not seeing him is worse. Walking towards Alpha’s tent, she opened the door to see the room empty. It looked as if he had just been in the room, taking off her jeans she crawled herself into bed.
She felt completely horrible after everything Papa told her because he could be right but she tried so hard not to believe it. Her mind raced all afternoon struggling to feel okay about being married to Alpha but everything continuously made her feel worse and worse.
Feeling someone touch her face she sighed tiredly, “Hey I just wanted to see if you’re okay.” His thick accented voice spoke soft as he sat on the edge of the bed.
“Yeah, I’m..okay..are you doing okay?” Trying to wake up she couldn’t, she felt so comfortable in bed and knew she wanted to talk to Alpha.
“I’m fine, Papa III was wondering what happened to you and I had a feeling you’d be in here but I was surprised to see you asleep.” Watching her rubbing her face childishly, he touched her cheek seeing her blink several times.
“I’m sorry, it was just a long morning talking to Papa II. Don’t be mad.” His forearm pressed onto the bed as he leaned over her.
“I’m not mad, I don’t have a reason to be. Are you sure you’re okay?” Nodding her hand touched his face as he leaned in to kiss her. Studying his face she tried not to get upset.
“I just..” Pouting she didn’t want to cry and be naive for telling him how upset she really was inside. Moving him, she sat herself up in bed and wiped her face.
“Did Papa say something to upset you?” Nodding, his calloused finger wiped her cheek.
“D-do you..do you really love me?” Looking at his tired blue eyes he studied her wondering what was going through her mind.
“Of course I do Princess, I can’t stop thinking about you and I get we have had some problems but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I’m sorry about last night and all the arguing that came with it. We haven’t had the best relationship but I’m trying.”
“I don’t feel like I’m worth being your wife like I’m even good enough for you to spend all this time on me. I still feel like I’m just some showgirl and..” Crying even more, there was a sigh and he pulled her in slightly hugging her.
“It’s okay, just breath and relax.” Humming as he rocked her, she eventually quieted herself down.
Crawling herself on top of him, wrapping her arms around him and felt him hug her tight. “I don’t like seeing you this way, he shouldn’t effect you like this. Come’on, talk to me we can work through this.” His hands trailed up under her sweater.
“N-no. Nothing’s okay, h-how can you just ignore what happened last night?”
“Because I want you to be happy and if moving on from last night will do that then I’ll do it.” She couldn’t help but blush timidly as his calloused fingers caressed her waist.
“I’m absolutely worthless, I don’t deserve any of this.” Crying again, his hands turned warmer as he tried to relax her, “I don’t want you to leave me, please don’t replace me like-”
“I wouldn’t ever think of replacing you, did Papa say something to you about me and Aino? Please..okay I slept with the new showgirl because I was jealous. I’m so jealous of your obsession to Papa, I know you have a complicated relationship with him but you give your full undivided attention to him and it’s hard when you don’t do the same for me. I shouldn’t have done what I did because I do know Papa has told me not to worry about your relationship but Holly..I just..”
“Y-you don’t have feelings for her?” He tried to unravel her but she wouldn’t budge like a stubborn child. There was a tired sigh, hearing her sniffling he waited. Her bare legs rubbed against his as she fidgeted hugging him even tighter, he couldn’t understand why she was being this stubborn.
“I don’t, why don’t you believe me? If I had feelings for her I wouldn’t be here but I’m here with you right now. I don’t want you to cry anymore, I love you so much. Can I make you feel any better?”
“No.” Meekly mumbling, “C-can you just spend time with me?” Unraveling herself from him, she looked at his face and touched his cheeks.
“Of course. Anything you want.” Seeing her tear stained face he smiled tiredly.
Her lips pressed against his, “I’m sorry.”
His fingers wiped her face, “It’ll be okay I promise.”
“What if it doesn’t get better?” She felt his heated hands trail up her thighs while he looked at her bright pink panties.
“Well..” Looking up he smiled, “We’ll have to figure it out if things still suck but I think things are going to get better, right?” Nodding she timidly smiled in return and noticed him trying to take off her sweater.
