#sucktober

[ejlandsman]

Day 26: squeak . . . . . #inktober #inktober2017 #sucktober #sucktober2017 #squeak #brushpen

[ejlandsman]

Day 20: deep . . . . . #sucktober #sucktober2017 #inktober #inktober2017 #deep #brushpen

[ejlandsman]

Inktober/sucktober days 1-4, inked: swift, divided, poison, underwater.

[ejlandsman]

Day 31: mask! I DID THE THING . . . . . #inktober #inktober2017 #sucktober #sucktober2017 #mask #plaguemask #brushpen

[ejlandsman]

Hello friends! It’s Inktober time, and I am having customary brain weasels about my art and showing it to other people, read on for a freakin essay about my stupid brain. If you follow me here you probably know that I have anxiety and depression. I am also a perfectionist. I feel like when we hear that word we think of a person who works and reworks their art obsessively, and that’s true of me, but most of the time what you’ll actually see, the product of my perfectionism, is nothing. Because the combination of nothing I make being good enough or “done” enough to show to other people, and my fucking terrible brain, is a thought spiral that looks like: idea > pretty good idea actually > work required to execute idea “right” > that sounds really hard and I probably don’t have time > [does nothing, feels shitty] FUN TIMES! Lately I haven’t even been able to talk myself into posting work here that isn’t perfectly polished, and I don’t have very much polished work (which is fine!), because of this mental block. So I’ve been hemming and hawing about Inktober, because it’s such a good way to get myself back in the habit of drawing and sharing my stuff frequently. But I initially decided I wouldn’t do it this year because of that same stupid block of ‘I won’t have time to make something good and I don’t want to share it if it’s no good’. Here’s the thing my dude, if you don’t ever suck, you won’t ever improve. SO! Instead of #inktober, I give you #sucktober. I will post something every day. I might even use the official inktober prompts. Sometimes they’ll actually be inked and sometimes not because whatever. Each and every one will suck. Maybe if I set the goal of making something shitty I won’t be so scared of it. Here you have days 1-3: swift, divided, and poison. Happy sucktober.

[ejlandsman]

#sucktober day 16: fat. It’s a juicy one today y'all. For those who don’t know, I work at a circus school, and lately I’ve been training very hard and seeing some really big gains. I also have always always always been at odds with my body in one fashion or another, and this word is one that echoes back to my very young self. I’ve got all kinds of weird shit about this word. I used to have it thrown at me a lot (and subsequently used to think it was a bad thing to be), associated it with shame, but now that my body has changed (again) and I have a little less of it, I feel weird about claiming the word. Anyway here’s a drawing about it. I hope @shooglet doesn’t mind me using one of their photos for inspiration (go follow them they’re incredible)

[ejlandsman]

Day 19: cloud. . . . . . #inktober2017 #inktober #sucktober #sucktober2017 #cloud #brushpen

[ejlandsman]

Day 29: united. I wanted o draw conjoined pumpkins and then accidentally drew a pumpkin with an ass. . . . . #inktober #inktober2017 #sucktober #sucktober2017 #brushpen #pumpkin #united