something I've been thinking about a lot recently is how I am simultaneously drawn to and averse to the sugar lifestyle
on the one hand, being taken care of and given gifts is the intense way to unlock my heart. I remember one time I was venting to a past partner about being short to pay for Uber and she literally sent me $20 without even replying to my texts. like??? that genuinely changed my brain chemistry and I've been craving that kind of feeling ever since.
it's not even about the amount either, I would be just as giddy and overwhelmed about getting a $5 allowance once a week or a dollar store trinket or something, it's the core of having my needs and wants noticed and addressed that makes me go crazy.
on the other hand, I think I would genuinely feel uncomfortable being given a lot of money or being paid to meet up. I also am pretty ambivalent towards sex and would rather do other intimate acts together, but that seems to be a big part of sugaring.
but I don't know how I could bring this up in any non-sugar context without sounding like I'm just greedy or trying to scam someone.
does anyone relate? what would this be called?
