First of all, fuck you 'fool's gold's was so soft and funny. Such a joy to read. How dare you be so talented??? Second of all, how about a lil angsty prequel with the drunken kiss? 👀
omg of course you would…something really quick for u, my dear…i miss u!
foolish desires (1/1)
Summary: Their past will always follow them, no matter where they are. From the South of France to Colorado to California.
A/N: supplement to fool’s gold. the kiss that didn’t happen and the kiss that did.
Word count: 1.7k
Read below or on AO3.
One.
[South of France]
Beca isn’t a jealous person, not necessarily. But she supposes she may be prone to the occasional flare-up.
But she is an adult and she’s totally happy for Chloe. Chloe, who is a consenting adult and who can make her own decisions…and who is decidedly not Beca’s girlfriend.
They’re just friends.
Chloe kissing Chicago right after Beca’s final performance in France had kind of been the final nail in the coffin.
Beca just kind of…thought maybe—
She shakes her head, refocusing on the conversation. “And Chicago?” Beca asks, hating the way his name rolls off her tongue. The familiarity of saying his name was not born out of friendliness or camaraderie, but a necessity. “How is he?” she continues, taking care to inject politeness into her tone. Regardless of her budding and increasingly frustrating feelings for Chloe, she never wants to lose Chloe as a friend. That would quite possibly be the worst outcome ever.
To her surprise however, Chloe sighs. Beca’s heart begins to pound erratically and she quickly shushes the stupid voice in her head to listen to Chloe’s voice. “I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m kind of just looking forward to this weekend of doing nothing.”
“Oh, okay,” Beca agrees quickly. “That sounds nice.”
And just like that, the conversation is dropped.
— — — — — — — — — —
Beca still thinks about it though.
There were few things that would compare to the elation and joy and inexplicable sadness that followed her performance, as she gazed upon the applauding audience. For all the eyes that had turned upon her then—for all the respect and admiration—Beca only had eyes for one group of people.
Or rather, one person.
It had been as if a spotlight turned on and had pointed Beca right into Chloe’s arms. Never had she felt so safe and warm and happy, like she knew exactly what she needed for the rest of her life.
“That was incredible,” Chloe had murmured right into Beca’s ear. Loud as ever over the dull roar from the audience. “You’re incredible.”
Too choked up around a mouthful of Chloe’s hair and her own tears, Beca couldn’t do much more at the moment than squeeze Chloe back as tightly as she could, all kinds of realizations and epiphanies shooting through her body. How neatly their bodies slotted together. How wonderfully soft Chloe felt against her. The brush of Chloe’s nose against her skin as she nuzzled into Beca further. Their friends all around them, squeezing them even closer together.
Chloe’s voice, over and over: “You’re incredible. Amazing. Wonderful.”
Beca really is starting to believe it.
— — — — — — — — — —
One little hiccup, however—
“Colorado? The state?”
(A hiccup apart from Chicago. These names are killing Beca.)
“It’s like a two-hour flight to Los Angeles.”
Beca hums in response and blushes, trying not to let it be known exactly why Chloe knew that information would be important…because it isn’t. Not at all. Not one bit.
— — — — — — — — — —
Chicago himself ends up being nothing, really. But that doesn’t mean the sting goes away that easily.
But Beca can’t say no to visiting Chloe in Colorado, taking the trip to Fort Collins months after their fateful USO trip.
It feels like an entire lifetime as passed, but once Chloe pulls her into the tightest hug known to mankind, it is like nothing has changed.
“I’m so happy you’re here,” Chloe murmurs, sounding suspiciously teary.
“Me too.”
— — — — — — — — — —
The thing is, it is so ridiculously easy to be with Chloe. It is so easy for Beca to lose herself in all the same old sensations and the same old annoying feelings, except this time she knows to accept them for what they truly are.
She goes with it.
Now, they’re giggling and everything feels so fucking warm.
Beca is trying to remember whether Chloe mentioned that her apartment was a furnace because the heat is making her want to pull off her sweater, but for unknown reasons at the moment, Beca thinks she probably shouldn’t. Still, she smiles, enjoying the feeling of Chloe pressed right against her side—unfortunately making her warmer still with her body heat—and Chloe’s laughter shaking both of them.
Why had they been laughing at all?
Who cares, Beca thinks. Chloe smells nice and clean and like everything Beca enjoys most in the world.
Like home.
She doesn’t realize how still she is until Chloe slowly lifts her head as well to peer at her.
Oh fuck, she can read my mind. Beca tries to smile back, attempting to form some sarcastic phrase that will bring them out of this suddenly tense moment, but it all dies on her lips when all she manages to say is, “You have beautiful eyes.”
FUCK. Abort mission.
Reflecting back, it would be innocent enough if Beca weren’t certain she had her damn fuck me eyes turned all the way on. She’s sure she had gotten better at taming them over time, but Chloe’s kind of looking at her the same way. It’s just the way those words sound: soft and gentle, whispered like a lover’s secret…
Beca is screwed. By her own doing.
But,she thinks traitorously, as Chloe inhales shakily, with her face so close to Beca’s. Would it be so bad? To kiss her?
Chloe Beale is the kind of girl who knows how pretty she is, Beca’s sure, but somehow Chloe is breathless with Beca’s little confession-but-it-wasn’t-really-a-confession.
“So blue,” Beca adds once she tires of the silence. She is somehow leaning farther into Chloe’s personal space.
“They’re definitely blue,” Chloe confirms in a distracted tone.
“I like it when you look at me,” Beca replies, bolder than she feels.
“I like…” Chloe clears her throat. “I like that too.” A blush begins to spread on Chloe’s cheeks.
“Looking at me?” Beca asks to clarify.
Chloe smiles and she leans in further.
And suddenly a cacophony of sound—like a door slamming in Beca’s mind, loud enough to startle even Chloe away from her.
Wait, it’s real.
“Wait,” Beca blurts when she realizes she is too late in trapping Chloe’s warmth.
“Oh fuck, it’s my roommate,” Chloe whispers. She stands quickly to greet her roommate, but not before casting a look of regret and disappointment back at Beca.
Beca sighs.
— — — — — — — — — —
Two.
[Los Angeles, California]
It is probably a bad idea for Beca to introduce Chloe to her new L.A. friends, but they’re probably the most solid group of friends Beca has managed to lock down and they’re oddly loyal for Hollywood standards.
Still, they’re no match for Chloe Beale.
Chloe, who once jumped into a pool fully clothed just to make sure the party stayed alive.
Chloe, who has been staring at Beca all night with the most mysterious look on her face.
Chloe, who still sends heat rippling through Beca’s body like no tomorrow.
Beca grins at Chloe fondly, bringing her over to their VIP table and pushing a glass of water towards her. “Drink up, drunky.”
“I’m not drunk,” Chloe says, but still, she drinks obediently. Her eyes still sparkle at Beca over the rim of the glass, like she is assessing Beca or worse, looking right through her. Beca quickly downs her own glass of water, averting her eyes.
When she finishes, Chloe is watching her intently again, but with something akin to affection as opposed to the more primal expression she had displayed.
“Chloe,” Beca says. “C’mere.” When Choe does, Beca pushes her forehead against hers, both of them exhaling in surprise. But Beca shuts her eyes and powers through. “I’m so happy you’re here.”
Chloe smiles, Beca can nearly feel it with how close Chloe’s face is to hers. “That’s my line.”
In the end, when they finally kiss, Beca isn’t sure who moves first. All she really truly processes is how impossibly soft Chloe’s lips are against her own and how their hands bump against each other as they both scramble to hold each other closer. Chloe giggles, soft and light against Beca’s mouth and instead of lessening the tension in Beca’s chest, it sends a bolt of arousal straight to Beca’s center.
It isn’t just Chloe’s laugh though. It’s the way Chloe fucking traps her lip between her teeth and tugs ever so slightly before pushing back in for a deeper, more thorough kiss. And the way her hands rest on Beca’s thighs. Or the way Chloe sighs in that ridiculously sexy way.
It’s just Chloe.
“Fuck,” Beca breathes, when Chloe pulls back only to reattach her lips to Beca’s neck. “Oh fuck , Chloe, we shouldn’t—” she swallows when she feels Chloe hesitate and pause. “We shouldn’t,” Beca clarifies. “N-not here.”
Chloe lets out a shaky breath, lips already slightly swollen from their kiss. Beca stares at them, noting how rosy and pink they look even in the dim lighting. She wants to kiss her again (and again and again—) but they shouldn’t.
Chloe’s lips are moving, forming words.
Beca swallows. “What’s that?” she asks, eyes flicking back up to Chloe’s eyes guiltily.
“I said,” Chloe says slowly and softly in a tone that sends a shiver right up Beca’s spine. “Then where?”
Nevermind. Right here. Now. Thank you.
“Back to my place,” Beca finally manages to say. Her eyes widen when she realizes how that sounds. “Because…you’re staying there.” Nope. “And it’s quieter.”
Chloe grins. “Okay.”
— — — — — — — — — —
To both their credit, they do try to talk, but the Uber home is already a mess of stolen kisses and totally-inappropriate touching, so when Chloe cuts Beca off in the middle of a question, Beca really doesn’t care to ask her again, not when Chloe’s tongue pushes its way into her mouth with precision and confidence.
Beca groans, shuffling backwards as steadily as she can until she falls back on the couch, her hands on Chloe’s ass for support. Chloe huffs out a laugh, her head falling against Beca’s shoulder for a moment.
Beca has never laughed as much while kissing another person than she has with Chloe, which is quite the new experience. It warms her and only makes her want to be close to Chloe again, so she tilts Chloe’s head back to her own and captures her lips again. Soft, warm, and wet—Chloe’s mouth feels like absolute heaven against her own. She had imagined what it would be like, but the reality is so much better that Beca isn’t sure that she’ll ever enjoy another dream again.
“Chlo,” she whimpers against Chloe’s mouth, without any real goal in mind.
Chloe hums in response, kissing a path across Beca’s jaw before lifting her head and staring right at Beca. “I’m here,” she rasps. “I’m here.”
Beca smiles, pulling Chloe back in for another kiss.
They can talk tomorrow.
fin.
